This may come as a surprise, but many parents are unaware of
the full extent of their child's basic needs.
Do you remember the old song by Lennon and McCartney about
the girl leaving home after 'living alone for so many
years'? The parents were desolate. They'd given her
everything money could buy - so how could she possibly have
been lonely and unhappy?
Clearly, there were some needs that just weren't being met
at home, so the girl upped and left.
What are these basic needs we must be aware of if we're to
be effective parents?
There are four categories: physical, emotional, intellectual
and spiritual.
So often people overestimate the first category, physical
needs - but let's not underestimate them either! We all need
food and drink, warmth, clothing and shelter to protect us
from the elements.
These will sustain life, but by themselves they won't
promote positive relationships. Some parents, however,
shower their kids with material things in order to over-
compensate for the other areas.
And we all know that, despite their wealth, many of these
same kids are miserable. Their other needs are just not
being met.
Probably the most obvious of these other needs is emotional
in nature.
Love and affection are vital, but there's more to it.
Children need constant reassurance! When our personalities
are forming we are on the lookout for feedback, so that we
know what to accept and what to reject.
We also form our picture of ourselves from the feedback we
get from others, especially those who have 'significant'
roles in our lives: parents first, then siblings, relatives,
teachers, friends and so on.
The bottom line is that a child doesn't really know what to
make of himself until that feedback comes in.
And they make value judgements so quickly! 'Hey, I'm pretty
good at this, everbody tells me so!'
Or how about, 'Yeah, I guess I'm a pretty stupid, useless
person. They always laugh at me. That's if they take any
notice at all!'
As a parent it's easy for you to praise the child who's
doing well, but the child who's struggling needs as much -
no, needs more - praise and encouragement. And so often we
overlook this.
If you take the time to listen to your kids, to take their
interests and ideas seriously - even if they seem petty,
trivial or irrelevant - then you are investing heavily in
your children's emotional well-being.
Although many parents are becoming aware of the emotional
needs of children, some are a bit hazy when it comes to
their intellectual needs.
There's still a perception that those kids who do well at
school just happen to be the 'brainy' ones.
Yet a wide body of research suggests that school or
'academic' success will be determined by a child's positive
self-image AND by the stimulation and interaction the child
receives at home.
These affect the thought-processes of the child, and the
thought-processes (HOW the child thinks) are the tools used
in learning.
Kids who perform well at school consistently come from homes
where there's a lot of mental stimulation through play, a
variety of experiences, and interaction through discussion
and conversation.
Finally, if intellectual needs are hazy, there appears to be
downright confusion over spiritual needs.
That children have spiritual needs comes as a shock to some
parents, and others hotly dispute this need. This seems to
be because most people associate spiritual needs with
religion, but they are not necessarily related to religious
beliefs.
It's generally accepted in modern educational and clinical
psychology that we all have spiritual needs.
It's helpful to make your kids aware that there are greater
forces and powers at work in nature and in the universe, and
that their lives work best when they are in harmony with
these.
You can meet your kids' spiritual needs by participating in
your religion, but also by fostering a sense of awe and
wonder about the grandeur of the world.
Teach your children to respect nature and the life force
that permeates it.
On to this can be built an appreciation of the diversity and
variety of human lives and customs.
As a result your kids will grow up with a value system,
which when followed will lead to contentment and happiness.
A well-rounded individual, then, is one who's needs are met
in all the above categories: physical, emotional,
intellectual and spiritual.
Take action now to meet ALL your kid's basic needs. It's
never too late, but obviously the earlier you start, the
better. Your kids will be well-balanced and happy.
And you? Well, you'll be taking pride and pleasure in a job
well done!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and
teacher. His writing includes children's fiction and motivational books for both teenagers and parents.If you want to further develop your parenting
confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be,
visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233Percentage... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
Is it hard to communicate with your teenager about issues... Read More
As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at... Read More
According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More
bmw rental chicago Ackley ..Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More
By the time your children reach their teens, there is... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
"It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More
Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding... Read More
College is one of the largest expenses through the course... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
Many of us have grown up drinking caffeinated diet sodas... Read More
In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More
Parenting |