In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether it should be earned or only given when children behave well.
My belief is that children should receive pocket-money as their small share of the family-wealth just as they should share the workload at home. This is not to say that the family income is divided equally between all members. Rather, children are given a realistic sum of money, given their age, needs and ability to deal with money.
It makes sense to provide guidelines about spending including letting them know just what they are expected to buy. A child in lower primary school may get enough to purchase some sweets and one or two other items, whereas a child in upper primary school may get enough to cover lunch orders, bus money and some treats. An allowance that covers clothing can be useful for adolescents who can be very costly to outfit in the latest fashions. Let them know you will buy the basics items and that they can make up the difference between brand names and basic items from their pocket-money.
Pocket-money can teach children a great deal about goal-setting. By encouraging children to save for a big ticket item such as a bike or skateboard children learn a great deal about planning and looking ahead, the value of budgeting and experience personal satisfaction of reaching a goal
When used in this way, pocket-money is an excellent way to develop independence in children and young people.
But my children don't spend money wisely! It helps if you give them guidance from the start and also insist that they divide their pocket-money three ways ? some for spending, some for the future and some for charity or a social service. I am loathe to interfere too much in their spending as it is their share of the wealth and they need to have some control over their spending. However there are times when for children's own long-term best interests that parents need to step in. For instance, if a child has a weight-problem and he or she is always buying sweets then parental interference is the best option. It is about knowing your child and using common sense.
Should children be given pocket-money if they misbehave? It is wisest to keep pocket-money and behaviour separate. Parents can get themselves into also sorts of bother and cause a great deal of resentment in children when they withdraw pocket-money until they behave better. Look for other ways to promote good behaviour rather than withholding their allowance.
How often should pocket-money be given? It helps if pocket-money is given regularly. Like adults children should have a pay day each week or fortnight when they receive their share of the family wealth. Give it to them in coins so they can easily allocate it to different uses.
At what age can I start with pocket-money? You can start giving pocket-money to children as young at four and cut it out on their fifteenth birthday so they are encouraged to get a part-time job. For four and five year olds give them a couple of coins and relate them to two items that you routinely buy for them as treats. Let them know they can buy these themselves or put their money in a money-box for later.
The use of pocket-money is one way to remove pressure children place on their parents to buy, buy, buy. When they come home from school and ask you to buy the latest toy because all their friends have one you can let them know that they can purchase it or at least make a contribution from their personal wealth.
For more practical ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people read Michael's best selling parenting book - One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au.
Michael Grose is a leading parent educator. he is the author of six book and 300 articles, and he gives over 100 presentations a year.
For more ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, Michael's Grose's free fortnightly email newsletter for parents. Get a free report Seven ways to reduce sibling fighting when you subscribe at http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Culver prom limo ..Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More
You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More
What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
By not planning for the future we guarantee that we... Read More
Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie... Read More
It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
Past experience with federal education programs predicts that the No... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
Wood Dale limo ..Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
Have you ever had this struggle with your teens? Did... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of... Read More
I never dreamed that I would be in a position... Read More
IntroductionAs a parent who wants the best for your children,... Read More
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More
A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More
There are a LOT of alternative treatments for sale out... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
Parenting |