As parents, we want our children and teens to grow up and "be successful." But what "being successful" means depends on our definition of "success" in the first place. Obviously "success" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Our definition of success has become "The Progressive Realization of Moral, Virtuous, or Godly Goals."
As a parent, how are you defining "success" for your children? How do you define "success" for yourself as a parent?
Each of these questions is important for us to think through. Many of us, kids included, only define success in terms of what we have, or what we have accomplished so far in life. Some define success in terms of how society and culture define it, while others have chosen to define "success" through the eyes of God, as best as they can know it.
As for me, I define "success" as "the progressive realization of moral, virtuous, or Godly goals." As I look at my kids and rate their levels of success, or rate myself as their parent, I want to keep in mind what my kids are becoming, rather than what they have accomplished in the past. As long as I can see my kids on a path toward becoming productive and honorable adults, then I will feel successful as a parent.
Parents, please relax a bit.
I want to encourage each of you to take a long term view in regards to your role as parents. I have received many emails from parents of 4, 5, and 6 year old kids who are having trouble with attention span, or coloring within the lines, or reading, or whatever. Please relax.
Focus on getting your child onto a road that will lead them to be productive as adults. Teach your children how to be good fathers and mothers to their own children in the future. Teach your kids how to love and serve other people. These are the major lessons. See life in the context of eternity, and your definition of success will change radically, both for your children and yourself.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
Although many parents become frustrated as they try to maintain... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers,... Read More
We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More
Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More
In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
One of the questions I ask in parenting presentations is... Read More
People always ask my wife and I: "How did you... Read More
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
Parenting |