Time devoted the better part of an issue to it. Newsweek featured an article titled "Busy Around the Clock." Articles with titles like "Whatever Happened to Play?" "Pushing Children Too Hard," and "Are You Over-Scheduling Your kids?" show up in print media and on the Internet. Books with titles like Hyper-Parenting: Are Your Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? are appearing on bookshelves.
Child development specialist David Elkind writes: "Parents are under more pressure than ever to overschedule their children and have them engage in organized sports and other activities that may be age-inappropriate." Most agree the practice is today's status symbol among families. In short, a superkid is a child pressured by parents and by society in general to do too much too soon. It's a phenomenon in our society in an escalating trend - with no end in sight. It's a frightening thought.
Writing in the magazine Child Care Information Exchange, Johann Christoph Arnold says: "The pressure to excel is undermining childhood as never before." He also asks: "Why are we so keen to mold [children] into successful adults, instead of treasuring their genuineness and carefree innocence?"
We have the best intentions, of course. We want our children to be happy; we equate happiness with success. And we fervently believe that success won't come unless we give our children a head start - a jump on the competition as it were.
But at what cost will all of this "success" come? If children don't learn to play as children, they aren't likely to discover its value as adults. And, oh, what a dreary, deadening existence daily life will become. Think about the following questions, really pondering each for a moment:
* If children begin living like adults in childhood, what will there be left to look forward to?
* What's to ensure they won't be burned out from all the pushing and pressure before they've even reached puberty?
* If we've caused them to miss the magic of childhood, how will they ever find the magic necessary to cope with the trials and tribulations of adulthood?
* What will become of the childlike nature adults call on when they need reminding of the delight found in simple things - when they need to bring out the playfulness that makes life worth living?
* What joy will our children find as adults if striving to "succeed" becomes life's sole purpose?
Childhood is not a dress rehearsal for adulthood! It is a separate, unique, and very special phase of life. And we're essentially wiping it out of existence in an effort to be sure our children get ahead. But when did we decide that life was one long race? When, exactly, did life become a competition?
Young children are not internally motivated to succeed; their only motivation comes from the value we place on success. And they don't want to let us down. As a result, stress is often a principal factor in the life of a superkid. Of course, into every life a little stress must fall. But when it becomes more than a person is capable of handling, it becomes unhealthy. Studies have shown that the brains of stressed preschoolers now look remarkably like the brains of stressed adults, which have excessive levels of adrenaline and cortisol, the chemicals responsible for the body's fight-or-flight reaction. Young children, who don't have the vocabulary or understanding to express what they're feeling, will often act out as a way of coping.
But there's more than stress involved in pushing children onto the fast track to success before they even understand the concept. For one thing, children aren't allowed to discover motivation on their own - and motivation is often more important to success than talent. Pushed children never have the opportunity to discover who they are. And they never learn to be at ease with themselves when alone, with time on their hands. Having experienced life "by the clock" - and almost constantly surrounded by others - these kids have never learned the joy of solitude, of having only oneself for company. Not only does this mean they're unable to practice self-reflection, but they're also unable to simply be.
Not long ago, in an attempt to help adults realize the folly of all work and no play, a saying began appearing on bumper stickers and in e-mails. It read: "No one ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'" Whether or not the saying had the desired effect remains to be seen, as adults appear as determined as ever to fill up their time with accomplishments. But someone had the right idea, and evidently quite a few people agreed with the sentiment. Isn't it now time to consider the same sentiment as it relates to children? Is there anyone who would say, at the conclusion of childhood, "I wish I'd had less time to play"? Who, after all, wants to look back on life and regret passing up that one and only opportunity to just be a kid?
Rae Pica is a children's physical activity specialist and the author of Your Active Child: How to Boost Physical, Emotional, and Cognitive Development through Age-Appropriate Activity (McGraw-Hill, 2003). Rae speaks to parent and education groups throughout North America. Visit her and read more articles at http://www.movingandlearning.com.
Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More
One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More
Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More
Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
The public school system in America has become a dismal... Read More
Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More
"My son won't go to bed at night without a... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More
"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More
A while ago I received this story from David in... Read More
Teens can freely access the Internet from computers at school,... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More
Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Parenting |