The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering college in increasing numbers. Getting into the best schools is increasingly competitive. Having good grades, a great SAT score and participating in extracurricular activities is no assurance that your student will get into the school of their choice.
Because of that phenomenon, parents are taking a much more active role in their children's college admission process. But for some parents, participation in their child's college search has led to a troubling development that college admissions officers are seeing more frequently.
It is the High Maintenance Parent (HMP). And college admissions officers are reporting it more and more. If you answer yes to any of these six questions, you may be a High Maintenance Parent.
1. Does your child barely know what's on their college application but you can quote every word in their personal essay (because you wrote it)?
Students who don't take an active role in their college planning and admission process tend not to be successful in college. Students need to take ownership of the process because it's their future on the line. It's time to cut the umbilical cord and let little Johnny fail or succeed. In the end it's a disservice to your child if you do the work for him.
2. Is the admissions officer at the school of your choice on your speed dial and recognizes your voice or phone number when you call?
You want your child to be memorable, not you. Don't be a pest. It can count against your child.
3. Are you asking (or telling) your child to apply to schools that they are not interested in just so YOU can brag that they got into Harvard, Stanford, etc?
It's hard enough for your child to do everything necessary to apply to college without the added stress of completing applications for schools they don't want to go to. This is not the time to relive your past or try to out-Jones the Joneses'.
4. Is your "back-up" strategy for financial aid to tell the financial aid officer that your child is so smart, talented, etc that they should pay you to LET your child attend XYZ University?
By knowing your expected family contribution before applying, you save yourself from the potential surprise of getting an award letter with less aid then you were expecting. And make sure you research the college's financial aid policy to know if you have a circumstance that would cause the school to revisit your award letter.
5. Have you talked to your attorney about suing your child's high school because she did not get the special attention she needed in high school, and thus, will not be able to attend the university of her choice?
Be an active parent throughout your child's education, don't start in her senior year as she applies to colleges. The reality is, at that point it's too late. If she needs special attention in high school make sure she gets it.
6. Have you asked the guidance counselor at the high school to purge evidence of cheating, truancy or other discipline problems from your child's record in order to increase their chance of getting into the college of their choice? If so, you are DEFINITELY a High Maintenance Parent!
You put your child and all other students applying from that high school at risk by asking guidance counselors to lie by omission. If admissions personnel find that student records are being sanitized, they can refuse to admit anyone from a particular high school.
College admissions is a competitive process with each party looking to get the best result. Admissions officers are responsible for admitting a diverse student body. They want students that will reflect the values of the institution and who will be a positive contribution to the student body. Now, while they are still in your house, is the time to impart those values and position your child to be an asset to the student body.
Balanced against the school's needs is the student's desire to be admitted. The best way for you to help your child is by being an advocate and mentor, but realize, ultimately the decision and experience of college will be up to your child.
Copyright ? 2004. All Rights Reserved.
Felicia Caldwell Gopaul, CFP, CCPS specializes in late-stage college funding planning utilizing unique tax, financial and academic strategies that can dramatically lower college costs and still enable parents to save for retirement and other financial priorities.
If you are confused or overwhelmed by the college planning process and want more information on how to get started, call (201) 453-9875 or visit www.collegefundingresource.com
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of LoveOn Mother's... Read More
The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just... Read More
In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More
John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
"My son won't go to bed at night without a... Read More
Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More
Q. My daughter has gotten very good at manipulating us,... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
Parenting |