I could nearly fund my children's future education if I received money every time I've heard a woman say, "I wish I could afford to stay at home full time." Sometimes you can recognize a few working women making this statement to avoid judgment from the stay-at-home parenting world (and they shouldn't feel this way). However, a majority of these women truly prefer to be at home, and are spending days trapped in a work "cell" and feeling committed for life.
First and foremost, I would like to stress that I am not going to join the pros or cons of either side of this debate. I have been both a working mother and a stay-at-home mother. I think they both have their advantages and disadvantages. I have equally loved and loathed both on any given day!
When I was working in sales and marketing, I loved the ability to meet new people, to negotiate, to close deals, to be given a task, a goal, a deadline, and to be able to start and finish a project. The hardest transition to full time "mommy" world for me is that no task or project ever seems complete. I make the meal and it's quickly eaten. I make and clean up after another meal, and another meal only to be greeted by requests for many impromptu snacks. I do the laundry, and it's worn, becomes dirty and needs to be done again. I wash the dishes, the floor, clean the house, and within a matter of hours my hard work is all undone. This applies to the bigger projects as well, like reorganizing cupboards, closets, and drawers, although at least this usually buys me a few days of pride and satisfaction, rather than just a few hours.
However, even though my tasks may never seem accomplished, my house never as clean as I feel it is suppose to be, there are days when I am playing with my children, laughing, hugging, holding them and I think I would have missed moment. Everyday they grow and change and it becomes harder to remember what they were like the month prior, nonetheless a year prior. For this I am thankful for an opportunity to have these special "mommy" moments.
I think that we as women have such strong bonds and influence on each other in friendships and in family relationships. We need to use that influence and stop debating each other over who is right and who is wrong in the stay-at-home or work debate and just accept that we each have our own "right".
For women who desperately yearn to be home with their children, we need to fight for employers and businesses to create better work at home opportunities so that if money is an issue, and a dual income is necessary, it doesn't have to be at the cost of our desired family life. After carrying a child inside of us for nine months and giving birth, we have earned the right to spend every waking moment with him or her is we so desire.
For women who truly enjoy and thrive in a work atmosphere, I say then don't feel guilty. I am taking pleasure in a hiatus right now, but I sincerely enjoyed working as well. Women have labored a long, hard time to pave the way for the success were seeing in today's culture and you needn't give that up to become a mother if working makes you happy. The popular saying that relates to families "if Mom is happy, we're all happy" couldn't be more true!
I will emphasize that as a working Mother or parent, you do need to set boundaries with your employer, and let them know that your family is as important as your career. When I was working, I fought for and demanded a part-time flexible schedule that worked for my family.
Except for the occasional project, I made it a priority to leave the office on time everyday, making it understood by my boss and coworkers that this was my schedule and I would not impress anyone with late night office departures.
Coincidently, in every office I have worked in, it is often those who consistently spent most of their day accomplishing very little, that ended up burning the "midnight" oil. I spent my days working smart and efficiently, and felt no guilt at my "on time" departure routine. So don't feel pressured to stay late, because it looks good in the eyes of your coworkers. My bosses always knew how hard I worked, and none of them blinked an eye when I left for the day.
So ladies, instead of debating each other, let's use our influence, our power, our minds, and our hearts, to help each other do what is right for one another; even if our "right" may be different from someone else's. We all need to work together in order to continue to make a difference. Together, we can make certain that work choices, family flexible schedules, and genuine work from home opportunities are available to us so we can support our families both financially and emotionally.
We may not always agree when it comes to various parenting issues, but I am certain as parents we can unanimously agree that we all love our children.
Tina Frazer is the Founder of Let's Be Friends.net, a friendship website for women. let's be friends.net promotes and encourages new friendships among women of all ages* and stages of life who share similar interests, lifestyles, and values. Our mission at Let's Be Friends.net is to reintroduce friendship as a priority in women's lives. For more information about Let's Be Friends.net visit let's be friends.net
*Members must be at least 18 years old.
monthly home cleaning Buffalo Grove .."Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More
Thank you to all of our professional educators who dedicate... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More
Dear MomOn this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let... Read More
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More
Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More
Q. I need your help with a question about my... Read More
Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More
The legend and myth of the Tooth Fairy is a... Read More
Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache,... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
scheduled maid service Mundelein ..Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
Home-schooling removes children from public school. That alone makes home-schooling... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More
Choosing to leave your child with a caregiver is one... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More
Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a... Read More
We know that you want your little guy or gal... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh... Read More
Parenting |