Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking and even shocking bulletin for you:
According to research conducted at the prestigious-sounding Josephson Institute of Ethics in, of course, California, here are two startling pieces of information:
1) 92 percent of teens surveyed admitted to lying to their parents at least once in the last year.
2) 78 percent of teens surveyed admitted to lying to their teachers at least once in the past year.
Have you gotten up off the floor yet?
Please forgive my sarcasm, but to put it in the language of the age group surveyed:
Well, duh.
If you are the parent of a teen-ager, I doubt you are at all surprised by these findings.
The results of my own scientific poll, conducted in three days of talking with the teens and parents I see in my office, give us these comments on the subject of teens lying to parents and/or teachers:
Only 92 percent?
The other 8 percent are lying.
Like they are really going to be honest on some lame survey.
I hope my parents don't read that article.
And other things really not printable.
So is it wrong to lie to your parents and teachers?
Of course.
Is honesty an issue of integrity and character?
Of course.
Do teens lie to their parents and teachers?
Of course.
So let's deal with it.
Tips for teens
File this under the care and feeding of parents:
Parents would rather know the truth the first time, no matter how ugly and horrible it might be, than to find out later that you lied.
Although it's sometimes hard to believe, parents were teen-agers once themselves. Which means that they know the lying game, and if they are paying attention, have a fairly good idea of when their kids are lying.
Here's a basic decision you need to make that will greatly affect your living-at-home years: Are my parents the enemy and I have to lie to get around them and get what I think I want, or can my parents be guides I can consult and trust to get me out into the real world?
Tips for parents
Is it possible to be able to always tell when your kids are telling the truth or lying to you? Nope, haven't found that technology yet. But here are a few guidelines you can use that will give you a pretty good idea of what is really going on:
Does the story you are hearing match what you already know?
Does it match what the parents of your kids' friends and/or your neighbors tell you? (Are you talking to them?)
Does it match what your kids' teachers are telling you? (Are you talking to them?)
In how many ways can you check out anything that you are in doubt about?
Do your kids fidget or have difficulty looking you in the eye when they are talking to you?
Here's the one that has been my guide for 25 years of family counseling:
Does the behavior match the words?
Again, in the best of all possible worlds, kids won't lie simply because it is wrong and damages trust. Until we discover the best of all possible worlds, we'll just have to deal with what is.
In the meantime, let's be on the lookout for new surveys that will tell us that a high percentage of teen-agers like loud music and talking on the phone.
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
licensed cleaning services Park Ridge ..Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache,... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
IntroductionAs a parent who wants the best for your children,... Read More
How bad is the illegal drug problem here in the... Read More
Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
What is child sexual abuse? Any sexual activity that is... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More
Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
As a parent you will be asked to assist with... Read More
All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More
One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
There are many things to like about the television show... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More
1. New Word of the DayIntroduce your preschooler to a... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
on demand house cleaning Arlington Heights ..Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More
How excited do kids get with the start of school... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
"What age should my child start school?"This is a common... Read More
(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
Parenting |