1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't rely on the schools, the government, television, the movies or music to teach their children values and the difference between right and wrong. They do it themselves.
2. They have a vision for their family and its future, one that is discussed and shared often. And they support the vision with clearly articulated, clarified and communicated values and beliefs. Every action, behaviour, and decision is taken with those values and beliefs firmly in mind. They constantly emphasize the relationship between family successes and acting in accordance with the values and beliefs. They make a clear distinction between right and wrong. Everybody is clear on how things are to be done and why.
3. They are behavioural models for their children. Their behaviours reflect those that they want the kids to emulate. They are honest because they value honesty; open because they value openness; forgiving because they value forgiveness. They make tough decisions when necessary and they take responsibility for the results. They don't just tell their children what to value and believe; they show them through words and deeds.
4. They enable their children. They communicate high, but achievable behavioural and performance expectations and provide the spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual and financial resources the children need to successfully achieve them. They know that self-esteem is a function of achievement.
5. They talk with their kids, not at them. They develop feedback loops so the children can come to understand the impact of their behaviour on others. They make sure the kids understand the relationship behaviour and consequences. And they distinguish between the child and his or her behaviour so, when there are problems, they unconditionally love the child while looking for a solution to the problem.
6. They take pains to understand how children develop. As the children are finding their way in the world these parents use a combination of maturity and skill to firmly direct when direction is needed; discuss when the circumstances merit; push the kids away when they are ready to make provisional tries when they are ready to and, finally; they set them free altogether. Through it all, the door is left open for the kids to come back if they needed to.
7. They take an active role in their children's education, both formal and informal. They are active contributors to both the schools and communities. They enrich the home environment in every way they can. They go to concerts, games, on camping trips and, unfailingly, to the ceremonies that mark the graduations from one stage to the next.
8. Although their children are outstanding in any number of ways, these parents freely admit their kids were anything but perfect. They accept and openly talk about the fact that, while good kids, their children are just as prone as others to the vicissitudes of growing up and, on occasion, their behaviour reflects that fact.
9. When the time comes, they discuss the future and provide appropriate advice and guidance regarding career and other life choices that children must eventually make.
10. Through it all they encourage independent, critical thinking so, in the final analysis, each child becomes his or her own person.
? Dr. Tom Olson 2004, all rights reserved Permission to reprint article granted as long as this signature remains intact.
About The Author
Dr. Tom Olson is the author of Don't Die With Your helmet On. Visit www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com for more information about Dr. Tom, the book and his work.
www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com
Lincoln Stretch rentals Alsip ..There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
We take it for granted that children know how money... Read More
When was the last time you and your kids rolled... Read More
Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we... Read More
Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More
In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More
Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
Western Springs shuttle limo ..There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
Jason Meridith's two-year old son whines when he wants more... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More
If you had to spend 4 or 5 hours in... Read More
Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we... Read More
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
Parenting |