Search for Assurance: The Power of Belonging
The job hunt is on, as is the quest to find another great preschool and neighborhood to be part of. After feeling out of place, hearing over and over that an item I'm searching for is not available, or a pretty basic procedure I thought I had a grasp of is "done differently here. You must be from overseas," I'm really glad to be back.
It's as I suspected-we each have a checklist of things we rely on to assure us that all is okay. For my elderly aunt, reciting the family tree mentally anchors her in the family, and strengthens her sense of belonging to it. I never understood before, but she has actually memorized the biographical details of most of the family members. She orients herself by acknowledging aloud who's married to whom, who's building, and how many children they have, where they graduated from, and the names of all of the grandchildren. I used to search for mention of myself in this Roll Call of Impressive Achievers. This year, I decided that establishing my own checklist of anchoring events was more important to me than being named on someone else's. I started by writing and compiling a book with my daughter.
Another important step in my ongoing orientation was hearing the words "Welcome Home" when we cleared customs on our way back to Massachusetts. It was hearing the airline pilot comment on seeing my Red Sox cap the night we flew in: "They won the World Series, you know." I don't follow baseball, football or any team sport for that matter, but at the moment I cherished the sense of belonging conferred by my symbolically significant headgear.
That sense of belonging is especially important during childhood. It meant the world when my friends and I were choosing teams. I always dreaded being the last one picked, because it made me feel like I had no enviable skill in throwing, catching or running, and therefore nothing that either team really coveted to ensure its victory. Truth is, I didn't have any such skill, but that didn't curb my wanting to be a part of things. Everyone likes to belong, whether it be as part of a family, part of a culture, or as everyone in Boston can tell you, part of a winning team.
But back to the search, the beauty of it is simply having something to choose from. Not lots of products and services, but endless variations on each, and always an emphasis on the consumer's convenience. I've been to the mall three times, and always leave in a state of amazement. Part of that is mall-induced exhaustion, but it also comes from feeling overwhelmed by the sheer scale of the structure.
For the first time in months, I am not apologetic about being a foreigner, nor am I fearful of ridicule for being an American. It's good to be home, and back to a search mode I can look forward to.
Tricia Wellington is the mother of one toddler.
copyright little-turnips.com 2003-2005. All rights reserved.
Tricia Wellington is the mother of one toddler.
Lincoln Stretch rentals Alsip ..When we talk about attention, we are talking about two... Read More
In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More
It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More
How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
The public school system in America has become a dismal... Read More
This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist,... Read More
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
By not planning for the future we guarantee that we... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More
Western Springs shuttle limo ..Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
We've got spirit, yes we do! We've got spirit how... Read More
It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
If you're a single parent or a married couple on... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More
Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances... Read More
Parenting |