What you say and do about money has a profound influence on your child. There are money moments every day that you can use to teach your children important skills and lessons about life. But what to say or do isn't always obvious. Is it a good idea to pay for chores or grades? How do you help your child develop a work ethic? How do you structure an allowance to help your child learn to make choices? Why is involving your children in charity so important? Eileen and Jon Gallo, experts in the fields of children, psychology and money, provide parents with eight key behaviors that will help them raise financially responsible children:
1. Encourage a work ethic
Work ethic is a learned behavior, and parents are the best models to teach kids to acquire it. If you want your children to work hard and derive meaning and satisfaction from what they do, make sure you are modeling the right messages. Insisting your kids do their homework and help around the house does not guarantee they will grow up with a sense of accountability and a desire to achieve. Developing a work ethic in your child is a holistic process and the eight money behaviors of a financially intelligent parent are keys to this process.
2. Get your own money stories straight
Because you send your children messages about money all the time, it is imperative that both you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to your money stories. A money story is an open, honest and personal story of your relationship with financial issues, especially as you grew up because most people's relationship with money developed during childhood. You need to identify why you feel the way you do about money so you can send coherent and consistent messages to your kids. When both parents focus on their money stories, children receive positive messages. Getting your money stories straight does not just mean that you agree on basic issues such as allowances and college savings. It also means that both of you have agreed to identify certain basic money values you want to teach your children, such as giving is good, working hard is its own reward, and you don't always get everything you want.
3. Facilitate financial reflection
As with most decisions kids make, when it comes to money decisions they are frequently impulsive. As a financially intelligent parent, you want to teach your children how to think in terms of choices, alternatives and consequences. This is called reflective thinking. Learning how to reflect both before and after making a decision is a great life skill, and one that is the hallmark of people who make good choices in everything from careers to relationships to investments. Financially intelligent parents teach their children to evaluate financial consequences based on available choices rather than making impulsive decisions. As a result, children recognize that there are many options available and they acquire the skill to make good choices.
4. Become a charitable family
By teaching your children that they can do more with money than spend it on themselves, you encourage them to become more compassionate and caring. By participating as a family in volunteer and community activities, you help your children develop empathy and a sense of responsibility to others. Your children will realize they have the power to make life better for others. Because children learn through modeling behavior, you have to do more than write a check to charity. You need to show your children what it means to help others. Modeling charitable behaviors, including volunteerism, can jump start your child's empathy and desire to help others.
5. Teach financial literacy
Although it is important to teach children how to balance a checkbook and create a budget, to become truly financially literate your children must learn within a context of values and money behaviors. Your children need a combination of concrete examples, their own experiences and financial reflection. If they do not learn to behave responsibly with money as kids, they will have to learn as adults when the cost is much higher. One of the best tools to teach your children financial literacy is an allowance. Approaching allowances in a consistently constructive way allows you to instill decision-making wisdom in your children rather than controlling them. An allowance also helps your children gain a well-balanced perspective about money, encouraging saving, investing and giving, in addition to spending.
6. Awareness of the values you model
Your children are tuned in to your purchasing decisions. The ways you spend your money sends messages to your children about your values and life priorities. Children also notice how you spend your time and your actions can unintentionally send messages you did not intend your children to receive. When you miss opportunities to spend time with your children in order to put in extra hours at work or manage your money, you are sending a message that money is more important than family. Financially intelligent parents are highly conscious of their spending habits, as well as how they balance their work and family time, and the values they communicate.
7. Moderate extreme money tendencies
Extreme money tendencies can evolve into money disorders which cause chaos within your family and send the wrong messages to your children. There are several types of money disorders, ranging from excessive shopping to racking up credit card debt to excessive frugality. Regardless of the disorder, extreme money tendencies cause your children to experience confusion and insecurity in their lives. Financially intelligent parents learn to recognize and moderate extreme money behaviors.
8. Talking about the tough topics
Parents avoid talking about financial topics that make them uncomfortable or that seem too complicated. Although you model good money behaviors in certain ways, unless you compliment these behaviors with good money conversations, you are not being as effective as you could be. Financially intelligent parents recognize teachable times each day that give you and your children the opportunity to talk about financial issues. You should welcome these opportunities, as difficult as they are, to discuss and reflect on financial decisions.
A free-reprint article written by: Eileen Gallo, Ph.D., and Jon Gallo, J.D, ? 2005
Reprint Terms
- You can publish this article electronically in publications, websites, and ezines as long as the bylines and hyperlinks are included.
- You are not allowed to use this article in unsolicited commercial email. This article MUST be distributed via opt-in email only.
- If you use this article we request that you send a copy or link that contains the article to dsafkow@fiparent.com.
Eileen Gallo, Ph.D., and Jon Gallo, J.D. are experts on children, families and money, and the authors of The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps to Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children (New American Library/Penguin Group). For more financially intelligent parenting tips and tools, visit http://www.fiparent.com.
green cleaning service Park Ridge ..Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary... Read More
Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More
OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
How on earth can you help your family cope with... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17... Read More
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More
While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
cleaning help near Bannockburn ..We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More
NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier,... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More
Some people can concentrate on an assignment, to the exclusion... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
One of the most difficult struggles in life for a... Read More
Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
According to researchers, most children enter school with a good... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Parenting |