How often do you think of family life as an adventure or delightful experience? If you and your children are having a good day, then you might buy into this idea. However, many of you are probably laughing hysterically now. What is delightful about the children fighting for the umpteenth time today? Sometimes I bet your family life feels like a jungle with screeching and swinging monkeys.
It can be all too easy to get caught up in trying to control what is happening in the home instead of enjoying what is. God blessed us with beautiful children and we are most in touch with that precious love when the house is quiet and we watch them peacefully sleeping. So how can we connect to that love and enjoyment in the midst of family life?
Spend Quality Time with your Children
Spending quality time with children requires your full and undivided attention. Oftentimes moms are so busy trying to manage everything that we have one ear to the children and our mind on a million other things. Our children talk to us and we say "uh huh" without really hearing them. We take them to their games, lessons, etc. but how much do we really interact with them? To be delighted by your children, you need to be fully connected to them. You need to listen and marvel at how truly wonderful they are. Participate in activities they love. Relish their laughter and their unique personalities. It won't be long before your children are grown and gone from the house.
Understand Each Developmental Stage
To really enjoy your children, you need to understand who they are and what they are going through. The journey of a child to adulthood is filled with a multitude of changes. It is helpful to get inside your child's shoes by learning about the various stages of development. For instance, the other day I stripped my 3-1/2 year to get him ready for his bath. I said, "Come on, it's time for your bath." He looked at me with the meanest face he could muster and said, "NO!" It is much easier to deal with the defiance if you know that a 3 year olds' mission is to exert his independence. Here's this little guy wanting to grow up and be independent, but he knows deep down, he is still dependent on mom, and he doesn't like that. So I picked him up and held him in front of the mirror. He exercised his most defiant no over and over until he started laughing. Each stage of life, from infant to young adult, brings new behaviors and new growth. Educate yourself so you know what to expect from your child. Sometimes just understanding that your child is "normal" will help you relax as a mother.
Don't Be Afraid to Discipline
No one likes being around an unruly child. Children with a lack of discipline make motherhood stressful and less than pleasurable. Our job as mothers is to raise respectful, productive and loving adults. In order to do this, we need to teach our children boundaries. They need to know what acceptable and unacceptable behavior is. You have to set limits and avoid setting up a child-centered family. Children need to understand they are a part of a family and each individual has their own needs. Help them work together with other family members to create a peaceful and loving environment. An effective and disciplined family unit is truly a wonderful adventure.
Be Intentional about Motherhood
What would make motherhood more enjoyable for you? Take the time to reflect on what needs to change in your family to increase the level of enjoyment for you. Be intentional about those changes. Maybe you want to make time to take care of yourself as a mother. Perhaps you long to be a more consistent parent. This month I am focusing on encouraging independence in my family. My motto is "everyone will do what they are capable of doing for themselves." Not only does this teach my children valuable skills, it frees me from unnecessary responsibility and gives me more time to be with my family. Setting intentions help you create a life you love.
Keep a Positive Reflection Journal
How do you want to see your children and your family life? Do you want to see motherhood as challenging or delightful? If you focus on the undesirable aspects of your family, then that is the experience you will create. If however, you can concentrate on the positive qualities of your children and your journey, you will create a rewarding family life. At the end of every day, take the time to record in a journal all the positive things your children said or did that day. Reflect on all the fun you had that day. Notice the wonderful qualities of each person in your family. And on your bad days when you find yourself wondering why on earth you ever decided to have children, pull out your journal and remind yourself what a truly amazing journey you are on.
Lori Radun, certified life coach for moms. Get her FREE monthly ezine for moms who want encouragement and coaching on living peaceful, balanced and fulfilling lives at http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com
? 2005 True to You Life Coaching, LLC
Culver prom limo ..In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More
As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More
Though you can cover even very long distances by car... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
Raising a pre-teen or teenage daughter (or son) is not... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
Wood Dale limo ..When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know... Read More
One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness... Read More
John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large... Read More
Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
Many people still think that the game of chess is... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
1. New Word of the DayIntroduce your preschooler to a... Read More
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More
Anorexia nervosa is a serious medical disorder that is statistically... Read More
Depending on where you live school will be starting this... Read More
A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of... Read More
Parenting |