By the time your children reach their teens, there is only a limited amount of time left to influence them and get them started in life in the right direction.
The teen years are a critical time for role models in your children's lives. Often you will find teens have a hard time talking to their parents. This isn't always the case, but even in the closest families, teens often feel more comfortable talking to another trusted adult about some of the things going on in their lives.
Of course you would prefer your teen would go to an adult when they need to talk something important out, instead of relying on their friends who may not have the insight an older, more experienced adult would have.
Obviously you have no real control over who your teen goes to for advice, but there are a number of ways you can steer your teen in the right direction.
The best chance your teen has for interacting with other adults is in extracurricular activities. There are all kinds of activities your teen can be involved with, here are some that come to mind: church youth group, scouts, sports, music, school clubs, community service, just to name a few. Personally I don't encourage parents to involve their teens in so many activities that it leads to burnout for both the parents and the teen, but carefully selected activities led by good and capable leaders will enrich your teen's life in a way few things can, and will increase the likelihood that your teen will establish a relationship with one of the group leaders.
One word of caution, however. Talk to your teen about their activities and get a feel for yourself the effectiveness of the group leader. Not to say that they have to excel in every way, but just make sure that they are a good role model, and not a negative influence in your teen's life. There is the potential of bad leaders in any activity, including in a church setting, and it is the parents' responsibility to make sure their teen is in a positive atmosphere, influenced by mature leaders.
Involvement in group activities is especially great for teens of single parents. Teens who don't have regular contact with mature adults of both sexes often have a hard time later in normal adult relationships. Being exposed to "normal" at this age very much increases the teen's chances of growing into a well-adjusted adult. I have seen this often with boys who are raised by their moms with not much influence or negative influence from their dads.
Placed into group settings, with responsible adult male leaders, these teen boys have much less difficulty transitioning into adulthood. It also takes of a lot of the pressure off the often overworked mothers.
From my own experience, I have found that often other adults can help my teen in ways that I can't, mostly due to big differences in our personalities. I am more of a quiet introspective thinker, and my daughter is very outgoing, and has a lot of potential leadership qualities that are hard for me to help her develop because I do not possess those qualities myself. Knowing how important it is to help her develop her natural abilities at this impressionable age, I make sure there are other adults in her life who can help influence her in ways I can't. My daughter and I are very close, but there are just a lot of things that I can't help her with, so I encourage her in developing relationships with adults who do have those abilities.
My daughter and I both respect our different abilities. It is very easy to be critical of people who are not like us, and parents and teens very easily fall into this trap. The best thing to do is be honest about your own abilities, and of the abilities of your teen, and do whatever is necessary to find outside influences for your teen. The more you can help your teen develop their abilities now, the less they will have to do on their own later (often, the hard way).
And don't forget, you are a role model too. Get involved in the lives of your teen's friends, or volunteer to help in a group activity in some way, even if only occasionally. There are teens out there who really need to hear what you have to say.
About The Author
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.creativehomemaking.com
Rolling Meadows Cadillac Escalade rental .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareDemanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More
It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More
The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh... Read More
Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More
Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More
Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More
Des Moines rental limo ..At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
How can two or three children in the same family... Read More
Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More
Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
KIDS AND THE NEWSMore than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes... Read More
It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
Being a single mother is no easy task. I know.... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
Parenting |