Dear Vijay,
I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four. They seem happy. Our family does things together. It is just that with so much that seems to be going wrong in the world, I fear that something will go wrong at home.
Hope you can help me, M.J.
Dear M.J.,
This really isn't a parenting question. It is a question about your own self and how you relate to life. Your children are simply the catalyst for energizing these issues for you. The fact that your feelings of unrest are manifesting in the guise of concern for your children just proves that negative energies don't play fair. They go for our soft spots, and they have no mercy.
You told me your story perfectly. But, you only needed to use two of the words you wrote: Worry and Fear. These are words that become self-fulfilling. The more you use them, the more powerful they become.
Whenever you have reoccurring feelings or emotions that get in the way of your personal sense of internal balance you are doing yourself and your whole family a favor by doing something to improve your mental/emotional landscape.
You have taken the first big step by recognizing that this area of your life is out of balance. Observation is key to knowing what is going on in life. Next you want to come up with creative solutions to your situation. Remember, you aren't trying to go to war with yourself over this issue. What you are trying to do is redirect energy that is heading in what you would consider to be a negative direction, and turn it towards a positive direction.
Here is an idea to show you how this works:
Go on a diet. Not a food diet, but a worry/fear diet. That means you consciously abstain from worrying or being fearful for periods of time. Of course as soon as you go on a diet (as with food) you become intensely aware of the very thing that you are trying to forget!
The key is to remember that you aren't trying to fight with yourself. You are trying to redirect negative energy into a positive direction.
If you take some quiet time to search inside yourself for creative ideas I bet you will come up with some fun and inventive ways that fit your own situation perfectly. If you get stuck for ideas, do a little brainstorming with a good friend.
Tip: You don't have to tell your friend that you are driving yourself nuts with worry/fear. That could create a negative image in their mind. Just tell them truthfully that you are looking for some fun ways to redirect your energies when you feel the need. They may end up trying the ideas themselves!
When you notice that you are starting to worry or be fearful (you want to catch yourself as quickly as possible before you build up a head of steam) then go directly to one of your redirection ideas. If the first one doesn't work, move right on to the next idea.
Here are some sample ideas:
When you immerse yourself in almost any positive direction with energy and concentration you will find that negative energies lose their power and eventually fall away through neglect. This is a powerful truth that works in every facet of life.
Experiment with these ideas and let us know how things go.
Bless You,
Vijay
This column offers solutions to people who write in questions about how they can solve their life challenges through the formula described in the books, Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting, by Lawrence Vijay Girard
About The Author
Lawrence Vijay Girard is the author of Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting. As well as, his popular children's book, The Adventures of Harry Fruitgarden. You can find his books at: http://fruitgardenpublishing.com
Please send your questions to http://fruitgardenpublishing.com
green cleaning service Park Ridge ..When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More
It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More
ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What... Read More
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good... Read More
Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More
Dear Vijay,I worry about not being a good parent. My... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More
If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More
Q. We are getting to the stage with our kids... Read More
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More
cleaning help near Bannockburn ..As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More
Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More
A fun way to build your child's imaginationWriting is still... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
Sometimes dreams really can come true! May 8th - 11th,... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness... Read More
The legend and myth of the Tooth Fairy is a... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found... Read More
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
Parenting |