Home
>
Parenting
>
Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue

Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue

Q. How do we decide what our teens should be able to do? How do they earn trust and responsibility?

A. Good questions. One way is to determine how much trust the teen-ager has earned.

To use a banking metaphor, if the teen-ager has made enough deposits in the ``trust bank,'' then he or she has earned the privilege of making a few withdrawals - that is, the teen has earned more responsibility and freedom.

Another way is what I call the ``enough rope to grow yourself'' approach. Teen-agers need room to grow, so that they and their parents can learn what they can handle.

Parents can follow this approach up by using what I call the six criteria for managing adolescents:

1) The parents are clearly in charge.

2) Teens, over time, learn and earn the ability to be more and more in charge of themselves.

3) There is a clear plan for continually building trust and responsibility.

4) The parents have a way to monitor the progress of teens.

5) There are clear consequences when a teen demonstrates that he or she cannot be in charge of him or herself (just like in the real world).

6) There is a plan for how to earn back trust and responsibility.

Using this method, parents don't let the teen move from little or no responsibility to complete freedom and responsibility.

Let's say, for example, the teen wants to go to the movies just with friends, with no adults, for the first time.

This can be structured so the teen leaves home right before the movie and come home right after, at least the first time.

If teens demonstrate they can handle that much trust and responsibility, then they get to go again, perhaps for a little longer next time.

But if they demonstrate they cannot handle this much freedom, then the parents pull back a bit. A teen would then have to earn back some trust by making a few more deposits in the trust bank.

By using these criteria for managing teen-agers, parents are able to make decisions based on trust and objectivity.

And that method's a whole lot better than going along with ``everyone else gets to do it. Why can't I?''

Visit parentingyourteenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on parentingyourteenager.com

eco-friendly cleaning service Park Ridge ...

In The News:

New research shows Americans increasingly trust AI for wellness guidance over social media, with 63% finding artificial intelligence reliable for health.

Luxury fashion brand Dior experienced a January 2025 data breach affecting customer personal information, and notifications were sent months after the discovery.

The commercial Unitree H1 humanoid robot weighs 104 pounds with 365 pound-feet torque per joint and demonstrates dangerous potential when software glitches occur.

Americans average 10-plus hours online daily, according to recent survey, splitting time between streaming shows on TV and browsing websites on multiple devices.

Boost your smartphone privacy instantly with these security tweaks for iPhone and Android that limit ad tracking, hide notifications and prevent unauthorized access.

Platforms like Hoax Tech and JS Click Cloaker help cybercriminals bypass detection systems using machine learning to selectively display scam content to victims.

A new battery recycling technique transforms old lithium-ion batteries into high-performance components that retain 88% capacity after 500 cycles with minimal waste.

Google's Android operating system can warn users about earthquakes before the shaking even begins – and there are ways to do it on your iPhone, too.

Meta's new gesture control wristband might just be the most seamless way to control a computer yet. And no, it doesn't require surgery, a camera, or even a touchscreen. All it needs is your wrist.

Long-haul trucks are now being upgraded with a surprising twist, thanks to California-based startup Revoy. Their electric boost doesn't replace diesel but works alongside it to cut emissions and fuel costs without major disruption.

PayPal and Venmo just rolled out something big: AI-powered scam alerts for Friends and Family payments.

As data centers multiply across the United States, energy demand is increasing at a rapid pace. This has not escaped the notice of large investment firms from Wall Street.

The Unicode Consortium, the nonprofit organization that maintains the Unicode Standard to ensure emojis work across devices, has announced Unicode 17.0, which includes nine new emojis slated for release this fall, in September 2025.

OpenAI is one of the world's leading AI research labs. Founded in 2015, it's behind some of today's most talked-about tools, including GPT, DALL·E, and ChatGPT.

Ever catch your dog staring at the screen during movie night and wonder if they're actually watching? Turns out, they might be. A new scientific study from Auburn University found that many dogs really do engage with television, and not all pups react the same way.

Stop the scammers from making contact in the first place. They're getting your parents' contact information and much more personal data besides, from somewhere.

The Walker S2 robot from UBTech autonomously exchanges its batteries in just three minutes, allowing continuous operation in car factories operated by BYD, Nio and Zeekr.

The FX Super One electric MPV from Faraday Future offers flexible seating, zero-gravity recliners and an AI system that creates a personal connection between driver and vehicle.

Practical solutions for reducing unwanted charity mail, political texts and email spam by opting out of shared lists, replying "STOP" and using data removal services.

Delta's new AI pricing system eliminates static airfares for personalized rates based on individual data, raising questions about fairness while promising optimized revenue.

AI data centers are straining the power grid across 13 states, contributing to a $9 billion increase in electricity costs, and PJM customers face monthly bill increases of $25 or more.

Artificial intelligence is transforming the music industry as AI-generated bands like The Velvet Sundown earn substantial streaming revenue, prompting lawsuits from major record labels.

Microsoft phishing scams use fake security alerts and links that redirect to credential-stealing pages with warning signs, including urgent language and unusual senders.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Tesla vehicles manufactured since mid-2021 with AMD Ryzen processors can now access Grok 4, xAI's witty conversational assistant designed to make drives more engaging.