The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with parenting - but it made me think . . .
"Hello, Eastbank Football Club. Can I help you?" "Good morning, may I speak with the Assistant Coach, please?" "Oh, I'm sorry. He's still on vacation." "I see. Is anyone on the coaching staff there?" "No, they're all away right now. The club's closed for another week yet. I'm only the Groundsman." "Well, thanks anyway. And hey, why say you're only the Groundsman? If it wasn't for you, there wouldn't be a football club. They'd have nowhere to play!" (Pause) "Yeah, I'd never really thought of it like that. (Laughter) Thanks a lot, pal, you've made my day!"
So often we do ourselves down, don't we? We devalue our own contribution or service. "I'm only a shop assistant!" "I'm only a . . . " (fill in the blank!) Sometimes we even hear women say: "I'm just a housewife"!
Confidence and self-esteem are often in short supply these days. And nowhere more so than in PARENTING!
Even those who are superbly confident in their work or social situations, often teeter on the edge when it comes to their parenting skills.
Why?
Is it something to do with the breakdown in old-fashioned values and concepts of authority; the widening gulf between kids and their parents; the dangers we as parents are so acutely aware of, but which are casually dismissed by our kids?
Whatever the causes, there's a lot you can do to improve things.
Step 1 Dr Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power Of Positive Thinking, used to advise people to sit down and write out a list of all their assets and abilities.
But Dr Peale's next suggestion is crucial. Once the list of assets and abilities has been written, he tells us to raise the stakes. Simply BELIEVE that you are at the very least 10% better than you think. It's now widely acknowledged in modern psychology that you'll still be way off the mark! So have faith. You're better than you think.
Step 2 Do some study. You probably weren't taught parenting skills at school or college, yet parenting is the most vital contribution to society. There are lots of books, courses, tapes, CDs and videos on parenting. No excuses! Grab some and get busy. Knowledge and insight bring confidence. Whatever stage you're at, you can improve yourself.
Step 3 Learn to temper your reaction in stressful parenting situations. Easier said than done! But you can make a conscious effort to stay calm and remind yourself of Dr Peale's advice (You're more capable than you think you are!), and you can put into practice what you've been studying about family dynamics.
Step 4 Develop yourself in some way. Yes, remember those piano lessons you once took, or that art class you attended? Interests like these are great stress relievers and they build self-confidence - which is vital for parenting. If you feel you're already confident in other matters, but it's only in parenting you feel a lack, why not take up some activity with your kids? Learning together brings you together, and can be great fun!
Step 5 Finally, resist any temptation to go it alone. Nature intended us to be social creatures. Seek advice from grandparents, relatives, friends. Overcome your pride. Discuss your parenting challenges with others and draw on the communal strength. And d'you know what? You'll find you're not alone. Let's work on parenting together, as a community.
Confident parents raise confident kids.
Take action now. If you do nothing, you can look forward to more of the same: worry, tension, ill-feeling etc etc.
Zap these negative trends once and for all. To give yourself a real boost, check out my website. There you'll find lots more to help you and your kids live life to the full.
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More
To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
What are we teaching our children about money? Hopefully something!I... Read More
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More
Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking,... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More
Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More
Des Moines rental limo ..Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied... Read More
Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
Levels of SafetyBy teaching our children there are different levels... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
It's been said, time and again, that for a child... Read More
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More
Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children.... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17... Read More
What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More
What are we teaching our children about money? Hopefully something!I... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
Those of you that have children know what an excursion... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More
Every children in the world whishes to have toys and... Read More
Parenting |