Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of parenting practices that you have learned or read about. Certainly it is harder to practice Peaceful Parenting? than to simply threaten or bribe your child into following your directions or making what you consider to be the "right" choices. But what is the heart of the difference between Peaceful Parenting? and other programs?
Simply put, Peaceful Parenting? follows the idea that human beings are internally motivated. Children (and parents) do what they do because of what is going on inside of them. The world outside of the child (and the parents) gives the child information. But the child decides what to do with this information based on what is going on inside the child at the time.
So when you ask your 7-year old to come inside for supper, your child hears your request as information. Based on what is going on for this child, he will behave accordingly. One child might decide to run inside as you have asked because he is very hungry. Or another child might decide to play one more inning of kick ball with her friends. Yes, she has heard your request. Yes, she wants to eat supper. But she also wants to play one more inning because it is her turn to kick and she knows she will kick the winning run!
Contrary to what you may have learned in other parenting programs, children cannot be manipulated into behaving just as we want them to. Unfortunately there is a lot of information in our culture that would lead parents to believe that they can, should and must control their children.
The reality is that people are not easily controlled. In fact the very urge to control others may result in those others resisting harder because they do not want to feel controlled. If people were as easily manipulated and controlled as our culture represents you too would be easily controlled and manipulated.
For instance, do you have the ability to resist buying everything that is advertised to you in the media? Of course you do! Even the "bribes," positive reinforcements or carrots the advertisers offer with rebates and sale prices does not mean that you must purchase every thing, willy nilly. You decide to purchase a product because you need or want a specific item, not because of the enticement of advertising.
Do you have the ability to resist your child's unhealthy or inappropriate request? Even when your child punishes you by telling you she "hates you" or "won't love you any more if you don't give in to her way," you still have the ability to stick by your decision to answer your child's request with a firm "no" response. No matter how hard your child tries to externally control you, you can make a reasonable decision.
So why do we think it is otherwise with children? Simply because our children are smaller, less experienced and younger does not mean they are any more easily controlled or manipulated using external rewards and punishments.
Peaceful Parenting? means you understand your children are internally motivated by their genetic instructions for safety, love, power, fun and freedom. Practicing Peaceful Parenting? means you understand that you are also internally motivated by your genetic instructions for safety, love, power, fun and freedom. Both parents and children experience the urge to control one another because parents and children are both born with the urge for power. Luckily we are also born with an urge for love. Our desire to stay connected with one another hopefully ameliorates our desire to win and control each other. Understanding this means the desire to follow Peaceful Parenting? ideas. It is harder, more challenging and more rewarding than trying to control our children using external control ideas. Peaceful Parenting? also is more respectful of your child's capacities to learn and become a responsible adult.
Nancy S. Buck, Ph.D. established Peaceful Parenting, Inc. in 2000 to bring her knowledge and experience with effective parenting to the greatest number of parents and other caretakers of children. She developed the Peaceful Parenting? program from her 25 years of experience as a developmental psychologist, trainer and educator with The William Glasser Institute and as the mother of twin sons. Her genuine, warm and authentic teaching style is clear and concise, helping learners move from the theoretical to real life situations.
green cleaning service Park Ridge ..Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
Is there a way to build a robot to help... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding... Read More
Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More
Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
In today's busy world, many parents have lost the art... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
The learning and development of Australian kids is under threat... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More
According to the American Sleep Association 70% of all babies... Read More
As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
Let's face it.The job market is getting tougher every day.Computerization... Read More
cleaning help near Bannockburn ..Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More
So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More
How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
Here in Kansas, where we live, the leaves are turning... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine,... Read More
Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom... Read More
When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
Parenting |