"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."
One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:
People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.
For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:
Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.
Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.
Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.
Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.
Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about "One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream", or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.
Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.
If these tips do not help at all and you still feel you cannot manage your anger and the related stress, you may need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.
About The Author
David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy (http://thehappyguy.com), author of "Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://thehappyguy.com For more tips on controlling anger, boosting self-esteem, expressing gratitude and reducing stress, pick up a copy of The Get Happy Workbook (http://thehappyguy.com)
cleaning service near Bannockburn ..Byron and I started our first business full of enthusiasm... Read More
Wahms, do you constantly compare yourself with others and come... Read More
Human nature is created so that you can choose your... Read More
Recently, I coached a young woman whom I'll call Mary... Read More
The world is going downhill faster than an Olympic skier.... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
When I was little I was very busy--as I imagine... Read More
"You can't always get what you want . . ."... Read More
Music penetrates our mental barriers and influences the deepest areas... Read More
"There is an infinitely worthier subject for philosophers (to study)... Read More
Your ability to forgive those who have hurt you in... Read More
What do you do when things in your life don't... Read More
Who are you?We all know that we are composed of... Read More
Let's say you're ready to change some aspect of your... Read More
There are many dynamics that go into making a great... Read More
When I teach private Yoga sessions, sometimes, I become aware... Read More
What's my life all about is the question so many... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
Look for the positives!Seek them out - those little scary... Read More
The quality of your life is directly related to your... Read More
I was always somebody who felt quite sorry for myself,... Read More
Almost everyone experiences some form of worry one time or... Read More
Does that title make you cringe? It made me cringe... Read More
Turn negative thoughts into positive ones.Negative thoughts can be very... Read More
The mind absolutely amazes me. It will never be understood,... Read More
pet-friendly home cleaners Mundelein ..Music is very powerful. The kind of music you listen... Read More
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is... Read More
Good morning I love you.This is a basic exercise, which... Read More
You may be facing a type of disappointment, frustration, loss,... Read More
This may sound quite aberrant to most of the younger... Read More
For the twelve hundred hostages, most especially Timur Kasumova.It's a... Read More
Celebrating is a skill that adults with ADD (Attention Deficit... Read More
The only thing between you and your desire to be... Read More
What is a paradigm? In my own words, a paradigm... Read More
A Yale University study a few years ago revealed that... Read More
The other day I bought an unusual piece of software:... Read More
Many of the books on this page were inspired by... Read More
"You can't always get what you want . . ."... Read More
Self belief is a wonderful thing.I know from my own... Read More
Keep focusing on the fullness of your life: Keep remembering... Read More
Have you ever felt the whole world was against you?... Read More
They're out there? they look like people you know, but... Read More
I'm getting calls from folks who say, "I hear you... Read More
Does negative thinking pay? Is it desirable for me to... Read More
Sometimes we are in a position to look into the... Read More
Since the beginning of human history we have been living... Read More
(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower,... Read More
When I was a young man, even a teenager for... Read More
Contrary to the popular saying "attitude is everything" attittude is... Read More
It's time to put a bad rumor to rest right... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |