"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."
One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:
People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.
For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:
Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.
Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.
Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.
Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.
Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about "One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream", or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.
Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.
If these tips do not help at all and you still feel you cannot manage your anger and the related stress, you may need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.
About The Author
David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy (http://thehappyguy.com), author of "Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://thehappyguy.com For more tips on controlling anger, boosting self-esteem, expressing gratitude and reducing stress, pick up a copy of The Get Happy Workbook (http://thehappyguy.com)
green cleaning service Glencoe ..In order to learn how to relieve ourselves of self-defeating... Read More
Most of what we've been taught about how to be... Read More
Problems, disappointments and trouble; the three skunks that sometimes think... Read More
The milkman knocks at the door of the old lady's... Read More
Can you do something for me?Tell me?Please don't think tomorrow.What?Yeah,... Read More
Being a mom can take a toll on your body,... Read More
This may sound quite aberrant to most of the younger... Read More
Whether it's the other kids making fun of you at... Read More
This is the age of the Quick Fix - the... Read More
Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager...My... Read More
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone... Read More
You wake up in the morning sleepy and fatigued; the... Read More
With the beginning of a new year, are you happy... Read More
The way to define your personality is to refine your... Read More
Do you ever find yourself thinking, "Life has taught me... Read More
What I mean of course is, to appreciate life through... Read More
I am often astounded at what and why people believe... Read More
"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is... Read More
If we are the products of our attitudes then it... Read More
Thousands of dollars will be yours, just by using your... Read More
Have you ever noticed what can happen if you just... Read More
Early in my career a position became available which I... Read More
The late Norman Vincent Peale was a controversial preacher who... Read More
"It really works!" "Well, I'll be?!"BJ like so many others... Read More
There is an old joke about a man who is... Read More
house cleaning company Bannockburn ..Getting motivated is sometimes easy enough to do, at least... Read More
Your ability to forgive those who have hurt you in... Read More
Recently, I coached a young woman whom I'll call Mary... Read More
Recently a great idea popped into my head about creating... Read More
No one likes rejection. And yet it happens. Here's how... Read More
The infamous "glass ceiling" is blamed for business issues for... Read More
A confidence crisis is looming with a recent study showing... Read More
Looking for a bit more mindfulness in your daily life?... Read More
Improving this single attitude makes your days fly by. You... Read More
This is the age of the Quick Fix - the... Read More
The most dangerous thing is illusion. ~ Ralph Waldo EmersonFailure... Read More
Every emotion, wether we classify it as good or bad,... Read More
A day in your life is a brief and precious... Read More
Emotions have the tendency to take over our actions and... Read More
It was the 10th day of rain, and I walked... Read More
Do you wish you had high self-confidence? Some of us... Read More
Music is very powerful. The kind of music you listen... Read More
Are you aware of your inner dialogue? If not, you... Read More
You've been looking for a job for as long as... Read More
This week I happened to catch a few minutes of... Read More
INNER CRITIC UNVEILED! Part 2: AFFIRMATIONS TO THE RESCUE!"Almost everybody... Read More
In the international bestseller, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell explains how researchers... Read More
So people will reject us no matter how good we... Read More
"If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing... Read More
How would your life shift if you moved into what... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |