More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD, or Bipolar. There are biological reasons for this, and there are environmental elements which can soothe or aggravate the symptoms. It becomes increasingly easy to "react" to each mood swing rather than to develop a plan for different positions on the pendulum swing. Yet, preplanning is the best chance at teaching our children coping skills that will serve them throughout life. A child will learn better during a manic or hyper state-if the parent is able to stay strong and kick into a preplanned directed goal.
Some of the most creative, successful people in the world's history are bipolar. (one small list of such people can be found at: http://www.bipolarsurvivor.com/famous.html) There have been rulers of countries with it, artists, authors, astronauts, musicians, ball players, financiers. The goal of parenting is to help assist our children to learn the coping skill that they will need to be successful at their level in the world around them as adults. Your child may choose to be the next Nobel Prize winner, Secretary General of the United Nations, or they actually may just have similar goals on an equally grand scale.
Keep in mind that adults, who are clinically required medicine to help curb the mania, often go off their meds because they enjoy the added energy and creativity. They like feeling euphoria, accomplishment, and a higher sense of capability and esteem. Yet un-channeled, that high energy can run rampant, and create a wake of problems left behind them which will increase the slower, depression side of the mood cycle.
When our children are young, we can take the time to help them identify these moods and teach them subtly-- some ways to harness that energy, and utilize it in appropriate ways that still align with their desires. The following suggestions are modifications from the book The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child by Judith Lederman and Candida Fink, M.D. These suggestions work well in the state where creativity & thinking out of the box is identifiable. This is not intended to treat other phases of mania such as rage, or extreme irritability & negativity.
1) Listen and Learn. Pick up on cues and subtle comments that can help you understand you child's interest at the time. Ask questions about her desires and thoughts regarding hopes, dreams, goals, wishes. Use this time to bond and grow closer to the inner part of you child that is revealing itself.
2) Encourage participation in those desires in a physical way now (right now) if possible. Writing poetry or a mini-novel-even a script for a tv show, drawing, picking up and instrument and trying it, shooting photographs, making a video, painting and decorating his bedroom, sending a letter to the President of the United States, etc.
3) Ground the child in reality of the situation & current needs. When she has to do something RIGHT now, calmly and detached state in few words what needs to take place. Also validate her desires by adding "it would be nice to do that someday". You may even want to converse further about that impulsive desire-again: listen and learn, while helping her attend to the responsibilities of the situation at hand.
4) Meet some of the desire while lowering the intensity for her. If he just has to go to a professional ball game (now!), try going through his card collection to see which players and positions he is most interested in. OR get on the computer and begin a card collection for him-let him help pick out the cards and teams. Have someone in the family take 20-60 minutes out to play that sport with him now. After energy has been released, maybe go to blockbuster and get a video where that sport is the theme.
The process to help a child deal with STRONG impulses is time consuming. Two points of reality are:
a) There really isn't any way around the time consumption. Whether we deal with the desires head on or waste time arguing and trying to shift our children to something else "more reasonable", the time expended will be relatively equal.
b) We are giving them life long skills that may save them years of frustration: by taking the time to encourage our children to think creatively, stay with a theme of desire while channeling it reasonably. And this is one of our heart's desires .
Until next time-all the best,
Kate
About The Author
Kate Hufstetler is a well established Personal Life Coach. Her clients come from both the United States and overseas. She offers coaching services via email and phone consultations. For more information and current highlights please visit: http://www.bipolarsurvivor.com/famous.html
http://www.bipolarsurvivor.com/famous.html
professional maid services Park Ridge ..O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
I had my first two children on either side of... Read More
The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
By the time your children reach their teens, there is... Read More
the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More
All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
cleaning lady near Lincolnshire ..Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More
You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
I don't know how people raise daughters because I have... Read More
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More
The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers,... Read More
Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
So you want to be a mum? Every time you... Read More
The public school system in America has become a dismal... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More
When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More
There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More
Parenting |