Home
>
Parenting
>
Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!

Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!

Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent child and replaced them with a monster? Are you confused that somehow you have gone from knowing everything as a parent, to knowing absolutely nothing? Welcome to being a parent of a preteen/teenager. It is a brave new world. Being a preteen/teenager is difficult and being a parent of one is difficult as well. In this article, I will address just a few of the many "normal" aspects of adolescence and how to survive as a parent.

I have been a therapist for over 18 years now and have seen hundreds of adolescents. If I had a dollar for every time a parent said to me, "If I talked the way my kids talk to me when I was a child I wouldn't be able to get off the floor." I would be rich. Yes, talking back is normal. I also quickly add not acceptable. Our society through TV programs and in general does not show respect. Most sitcoms delight in making the parents look like idiots, gone are the days of the strong parents like the Cosby family. So, our society does not show respect and our children model that with us. Another normal aspect of preteen/teenagers is to think their parents know very little due to us growing up with dinosaurs or at least without VCRS much less DVD players, anyway. Most adolescents get all their information from their peers, who unfortunately don't always give good advice. Acting like a "baby" one minute and an "adult" the next is extremely common. It is an extremely confusing time for them. Part of them craves the security and the easiness of childhood and another part "needs" the freedom and independence of being adult (they often forget the responsibility part). So, as a parent you are never really sure who you are talking to at any given moment. Do I have the "baby" who wants my support or am I talking to the "adult" who wants to make his or her own decisions? We often pick the wrong one.

So, what can a parent due to survive? In my e-book, "Help My Preteen/Teenager Is Driving Me Nuts!!!" I list several strategies. Here are a few of those strategies.

1. When your child is talking back. Do not engage in conversation with them and certainly do not do something special for them, like taking them to the mall.

2. Try not to give unsolicited advice. I'm not saying quit parenting all together, but advice is often listened to more when your child asks for it.

3. Make sure you spend time listening to your children. Take any opportunity even if it is at 11:00pm to listen when your child is willing to talk.

4. Talk to the parents of your child's friends and have a curfew that everyone agrees on. There is strength in numbers for parents as well. Then, you can say not "everyone" gets to stay out later than your child.

5. Talk to other parents for support. Often, when our children are small we share a lot with other parents. Sometimes, when our children get to be teenagers we keep silent. It really helps to know you are not the only parent having a difficult time.

In conclusion, it is tough being a teenager and a parent of one, but everyone involved can survive. Remember the favorite phrase, "This too shall pass." You didn't think your children would ever get out of diapers and now look, they are teenagers. Teenagers still need you, so stay involved in their lives. Learn about their friends and be willing to listen at anytime. Also, remember some of their seemingly strange quirks are really quite normal.

? 2005 Kimberly Chastain

Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently featured in the book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the author of "Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!!" To purchase a copy of this e-book please visit http://www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting. To schedule a free, initial coaching session send an email to http://www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting or visit http://www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting

The text information box above MUST be included for reprint privileges. You may reprint this article in it's entirety with the attached text box.

detailed home cleaning Park Ridge ..

In The News:

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.

Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.

Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.

iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.

Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.

FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.

Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.

Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.

Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.

Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.

Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.

New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.

OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.

Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.

Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!

Parenting