Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed of Instant Messengers~ or IM'ing, the convince of cell phones, parenting has come a long way from when parents had to make three or four phone calls to track down their TWeen for the simplest request "Bring home some milk?" to the infamous, "Your late, couldn't you have called?"
These scenario's from not so long ago have all but died out with today's many wireless communication devices. No sooner does a new device come out,our kids seem to have it down These mini-adults who can't seem to remember to take out the trash or keep their rooms clean, yet have the intelligence and focus to create secret languages and codes around these devices.
With their objective being privacy and the benefit, or fun part is we don't understand one bit of it.
I have discovered the secret to win this battle; or at the very least, how to make it work for you vs, fighting the tide of neverending electronic toys& gadgets.That seem to come out faster then we can keep up with what's new & hot that our tween is craving.
Whether its cell phones, pagers, or the latest craze~ called a Blackberry,They all want one ~ and who doesn't?
Of course not that you go out and get them each one however thru another parent or a well meaning grandparent for say, perhaps as a graduation present. Once they have one, you can count on them eating, sleeping with it, doing everything but bathe with it, it will be their lifeline, or so it will seem... The only natural question seemed to me~
How can we best use these devices to assist us in our parenting? To support us in communicating better with our teens
1. Get their screen names, learn their email address, phone numbers etc...
The first thing you need to know is when it comes to the internet, Kids can get free accounts anywhere, all they need is the address they use with you, they just have to click back once and they are all set~ from there they can use that address, to register for many other free address services. The key to this is to simply tell your child it will be for emergencies and you don't need the password. I can't promise you they will give them all up, but enough to give you the ability to connect with them. They often use provactive names or numbers, don't act shocked when they tell you or better yet just ask them to write it for you and don't even give it a second glance
~ till they leave of course.
2. Learn how to connect with each device from your devices, program quick call features, put their names in your IM, and then actually practice sending them text messages.
This may seem like silly advice, however when & if a true emergency arises, you and your child will become proficient not only in using the skills, and having worked out faster out but you will also create a language of your own, with your own words and expressions, inside jokes, and more importantly, your own codes for emergencies. --
3. Learn how to use one device to connect to another, I have used my cell to IM a child who was home, online, tying up the phone in a family emergency, I was able to connect with him to clear the phone line and get the number to the specialist whose number was only in 1 spot - 45 miles away at home on the refrigerator, 2 FEET from my son. Had I not known how to connect I would have had to drive all that way home to get the number.
Perhaps this isn't a life saving example but I'm sure you can use it to imagine a situation where your child need's you, and it could be life or death.
I hope these three keys helped, If we can do anything to keep them closer to us,the better we can communicate with them in their own comfort zone the closer we can get to understanding them and more of the challenges that our kids face with today's technology.
Isn't the piece of mind you will have, worth this small investment?
Connie Carpenter is a Life, Family Coach who specializes in supporting parents with tweens. Having 4 children of her own the trials & errors of partenting are all to familar. Through a through assesments ,conversation we can determine the perfect personalized plan for your family. Learn the tools to not only restore your family dynamic, promote an effective communication stratagy, you'll also create a bond that will last a lifetime. Don't wait! Life is too short to not use every available reasource - visit http://promptcarecoaching.com and see what she can do for you!
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