Home
>
Positive Attitude Tips
>
Use Affirmations to Build Self-Esteem

Use Affirmations to Build Self-Esteem

Most of us carry on a running internal dialogue at all times. It is as if our lives are a sporting event on television and there is a panel of psychic sports commentators hunched over their microphones doing a play-by-play of the action.

Too often, the person at the "negative commentary" microphone hogs the show! The unseen producer has the volume on that mike turned up, and the other microphones are muted or turned off entirely.

What comes through in this ongoing psychic play-by-play is often quite negative, harsh, critical -- as if someone is screaming: "You idiot! You should have known not to get in this lane. Of course it's going to be the slowest!" Or: "You always do it wrong. Everybody else knows how to do this, but YOU..."

Imagine how a real-life football game would unfold if the quarterback had these voices echoing in his head while he is on the field, calling and executing plays under intense pressure. It's safe to say his performance would be less than optimal.

The same is true for us, as we listen to negative or doubting or critical or pessimistic voices in our heads. "This speech probably won't go well." "I'm always unlucky -- good things never happen to me."

It can take tremendous focus and extraordinary expenditure of energy to function at our best when we are distracted by this chorus of silent negativity echoing within our minds.

These negative and critical voices are likely to be the loudest when one is tired, hungry, lonely, sad, sick -- or in some kind of emotional or physical pain. When one's strength or resistance is lowered, it seems the negative voices only gain in strength and intensity.

The conscious and intentional use of positive affirmations is a powerful way to counter these voices of negativity within. It is important to emphasize that what we are suggesting here is not self-hypnosis or an attempt to "psych" yourself into believing something which at the moment you don't believe.

No, the use of positive affirmations is simply to rebalance the internal dialogue, to add more positive voices to the mix. To return to our sports commentary analogy, using positive affirmations is akin to "producing your own show" -- unmuting the microphones before the commentators who are inclined to view the game in a more positive and compassionate light, thus giving these voices more air time in the internal dialogue.

In fact, as I tell my clients, it is not important that they believe the affirmations as they are speaking or reading them. The benefit occurs through simply adding positive and affirmative statements into the ongoing dialogue within. This slowly begins to shift the balance toward a more optimistic, compassionate and self-accepting way of relating to oneself.

Try an experiment. Make a list of five simple affirmative statements about yourself. Go through the list and edit out any negative, ambivalent or pessimistic language until the statements are unequivocally positive.

Examples:

"I try hard to do my best."

"I am a good and loving person."

"When I am angry or upset, I am only responding out of my hurt and my confusion."

"I am learning more each day about how to make the most of my life."

"I am loved and accepted by those who truly know me."

Read through your list four or five times a day -- for a week. Let yourself hear the words without trying to analyze them or debate about whether they are true. Don't worry if you don't feel anything immediately -- there's no magic here.

But there is a kind of magic, over time, in practicing self- compassion -- acts of kindness and generosity directed towards oneself. The world can be a hard place -- do we really need to make things more difficult for ourselves? Imagine yourself as a friend -- to yourself! Positive affirmations are a way of rebalancing the too-often negative internal dialogue, by adding in some consciously chosen words of kindness, compassion and optimism.

I dare you to try it!

David Yarian, Ph.D. is the creator of The Guide to Self-Help Books, http://www.books4selfhelp.com and co-author of Self-Help Central, an ezine to help you build a better life with self-help resources. He is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist in private practice in Nashville, TN. His professional website is http://www.books4selfhelp.com

In The News:

Apple recently notified a small number of iPhone customers in 92 countries that their phones may be under attack by mercenary spyware.

An artificial intelligence-powered home security system can fire paintballs and tear gas at trespassers. The camera identifies human faces and animals.

Technology expert Kim Komando gives her tips and tricks on enhancing your user experience a smartphone and other devices you use everyday.

A new camera called NUCA uses artificial intelligence to create deepfake photos of subjects by stripping away clothing in close to real time.

The Kimberley Kube trail-ready camper has a compact but spacious design and combines luxury, functionality and ruggedness for a weekend getaway.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Emails instructing you to reset your password for an account may be legitimate, or they may be scams. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.

Northrop Grumman's Manta Ray uncrewed underwater vehicle aims to revolutionize undersea missions — it glides through the ocean without human assistance.

Learn how to work Google's calendar application to streamline and organize your daily tasks from technology expert Kim Komando.

If you do not want Facebook to have automatic access to your private photos, follow our tips to protect yourself. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson goes into detail about Apple’s recent iOS update that allows iPhone users to instantly translate spoken language simply by using the Action Button.

Safeguarding your digital life with a reliable physical backup isn't just a precaution, it's a necessity. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides the essential backup checklist.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how a Redditor exposed false recycling claims at their apartment, highlighting a report that only 21% of U.S. recyclables are processed.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson offers a travel toolkit featuring five technology tools to help you with booking flights and hotels for your summer vacation.

The bubble behind the clock on your iPhone can appear in different colors. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains what each of those colors mean.

Scammers are using the power of artificial intelligence to mimic voices of people and are using the fake voices to commit crimes, like kidnappings.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains the science behind the Invisibility Shield, a 6-foot shield that makes people become invisible.

The International Olympic Committee on Friday announced plans to use AI in various Olympic aspects, including athlete identification, training and judging.

Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains an easy trick to avoid squinting while working or surfing the web by zooming in on your personal computer.

Streaming giant Roku has recently been targeted by a pair of cyberattacks, and the company confirmed over a half million Roku accounts were compromised.

The Land Aircraft Carrier combines an all-terrain, six-wheeled vehicle with a two-seat aircraft, which features electric vertical takeoff and landing.

The European Union has sent TikTok a "request for information" on the video sharing platform's newest app, TikTok Lite, under the Digital Services Act, with the aim to clean up social media.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The FBI is warning the public about a recent phishing scam via text that claims its targets owe money in Pennsylvania for unpaid road toll charges.

Use Affirmations to Build Self-Esteem

Positive Attitude Tips