This week I happened to catch a few minutes of a popular talk show on television, and the topic was confessions. A young man was confessing to his girlfriend of 5 years that he had cheated on her with her best friend. Not too unusual these days I guess. But what he said next floored me. "It was an accident. One thing led to another and before I knew it, we were having sex."
I beg your pardon? How do you accidentally have sex with someone? Call the Surgeon General, we may have an epidemic on our hands. People are losing control of their own minds and bodies and randomly having sex!
Sadly, this type of thinking is all too common in our society, and not just in relationships either. We don't want to take the blame for anything, or be responsible for anything. We blame the weather, our friends, our bosses, the government and anything else that happens to be convenient.
Let's face it, no one likes to be wrong, or admit that we screwed up. Our society is obsessed with perfection. Just look at the ads on television and in magazines. All you see are perfect, airbrushed, white-toothed, smiling models. In this day and age, image is everything. (I personally don't think so, but that seems to be the popular trend.) You will be admired if you drive the right car, wear the right clothes and project the right "look." If you've done something wrong or made a mistake, you'd better sweep it under the carpet quickly so no one finds out. If others find out you're not perfect, you will no longer be put up on that pedestal.
I realize I'm dramatizing a wee bit, but I see it all the time and I'm sure you do too. So what's the big deal? Who cares if we don't accept responsibility for our own actions? Who are we really hurting? Ourselves.
Just because no one knows about our dirty little secrets, doesn't mean they don't exist. Continuing to conceal them and put on a mask of perfection eats away at our souls, little by little. As we pretend to be more and more perfect, we keep adding more pressure on ourselves. The more perfect we pretend to be, the harder we will have to work to keep up that charade. While we may look perfect on the outside, inside we know we're frauds and we have to do whatever it takes to keep people from finding out. Talk about anxiety!
In addition, how can we take credit for the good things we do when we won't acknowledge the bad? If we feel like a phony, our accomplishments will be tarnished by those feelings. They won't shine as brightly as they would if we could be truly proud of ourselves.
That doesn't mean we have to shout our mistakes from the rooftops either. But if we've done something wrong or hurt someone we care about, it's our responsibility to try to set it right. That might mean apologizing, or doing what we can to fix the damage we've done. But at the very least we should acknowledge our mistakes to ourselves, and vow to try harder next time. Sometimes when we mess up it's not ALL our fault. There may have been reasons why we acted like we did. Maybe our hearts were in the right place, but we didn't consider the possible consequences. We made a decision that caused a negative outcome. We have to acknowledge and accept that, not deny it.
It's been said that "character is what you do when you think no one is watching." I love that! What a powerful truth it is. It's wonderful that our character is 100% within our control. We choose who we want to be. We can consider our options and make a conscious decision on what actions we take. We can choose to be a great person, or a fraud. The important thing to remember is that these ARE choices we are making. It's no one's fault but our own.
How funny that we try to shun responsibility because we think it will make us look more perfect, when in fact the truth is, being accountable for ourselves can only build our character, not detract from it.
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.wingsfortheheart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
green cleaning service Park Ridge ..Speaking comes to most people as naturally as breathing. On... Read More
Does negative thinking pay? Is it desirable for me to... Read More
One thing in life is certain---change. Things never stay the... Read More
"Putting ourselves down, is an insult to our worth." --Helen... Read More
Near the end of December 2004, I received an email... Read More
Today, I wanted to mention this notion of self-sabotage.I recently... Read More
Emotions are controlled by a combination of reason and action.... Read More
The most dangerous thing is illusion. ~ Ralph Waldo EmersonFailure... Read More
We all know them. We all have somebody like them... Read More
Why do we help others? There is a whole lot... Read More
Who are you?We all know that we are composed of... Read More
If your life is difficult--if it's challenging, exasperating, and vexatious--... Read More
When we were children, we were fearless. We would stick... Read More
With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate... Read More
Hospital patient undergoing surgery recounts how Hero Soul provided strength,... Read More
There are many dynamics that go into making a great... Read More
Why do we really need the experiences that we have... Read More
The milkman knocks at the door of the old lady's... Read More
? If it takes me to periphery (Drifted into continuous... Read More
Many centuries ago there was a Greek philosopher who lived... Read More
Q: I seem to beat myself before I ever get... Read More
I thought this was fitting sense I just experienced a... Read More
You've heard the buzzwords: Attitude is everything! Change your perspective!... Read More
Byron and I started our first business full of enthusiasm... Read More
Contrary to the popular saying "attitude is everything" attittude is... Read More
cleaning help near Bannockburn ..I started life writing in the fifth grade. My mother... Read More
"Every prayer - every thought, every statement, every feeling -is... Read More
As we enter this holiday season, and this time of... Read More
Woe is me... life has dealt me a bad hand...... Read More
Once we understand the difference our attitude makes in our... Read More
Did you know that our thoughts may be influencing our... Read More
What does it take to succeed? How can you move... Read More
WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe... Read More
Think for a moment about all of the signals people... Read More
One of the most important aspects of living a healthy... Read More
Have you ever read that you should think positively when... Read More
I thought this was fitting sense I just experienced a... Read More
Well I've finally done it...I turned my heat on. After... Read More
Yuk!One thing, I really have a problem with is criticism.... Read More
All the problems that any individual has in their lives... Read More
We all need encouragement. Even the most callous, hard headed... Read More
One of the biggest potential problems we face with every... Read More
Everyone faces challenges during their life, from suffering the death... Read More
You may be facing a type of disappointment, frustration, loss,... Read More
Imagine what your life would be like if you could... Read More
I was always somebody who felt quite sorry for myself,... Read More
You are the only one that can give confidence to... Read More
You know, very often, the manner in which a person... Read More
Imagine the what you could achieve if:You were 100 %... Read More
Many of you may look at my title and wonder... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |