I have had many confidence issues in my life, all of which I have either dealt with or overcome. I have written about some of these issues below.
1. The Bald Patch
2. My height
3. My weight
4. The stutter
5. My lack of belief in myself
6. My career
THE BALD PATCH
Even though to some people it may seem trivial, I was born with a bald patch the size of a ten pence piece. As I went through childhood and especially the teenage years I became more and more self-conscious and paranoid about it.
It was especially noticeable when it rained or when I went swimming as my hair would become wet. People at school would ridicule me and I was forever trying to hide and cover the bald patch even though most people knew about it.
It hurt when people laughed at me and eventually I stopped going swimming altogether.
MY HEIGHT
Out of all of my close male family and friends, I am the shortest at 5ft 4. This probably should not influence my confidence however with people continually looking down on me it did. I have been called many names, the nicest being "Shorty".
I was always jealous of other people taller than I was. I hoped that one day I might have a late spurt. This never came.
My height affected me with sport. I wanted to be a striker at football however the coaches only wanted people over 6ft tall. At snooker I am constantly have to use the rest which makes it difficult to play up to the best standard and at tennis I was constantly being lobbed. It also meant that I only felt comfortable dating women 5ft 3 and under which reduces the available market considerably.
MY WEIGHT
During senior school I was very thin. This may have been the result of my parents turning vegetarian when I was twelve. At the time there were very few replacement foods and it seemed as though we went from having meat and two veg to just two veg.
As my parents cooked the food I had little option but to also turn vegetarian. After a few weeks I approached them and told them that I missed and wanted to eat meat. They were understanding to a degree and said:
"If you want it, you cook it"
At this age I could only really be bothered to cook properly a few days of the week and that gradually became less and less.
People at school would call me names like skin and bone and my weight became another area of paranoia for me.
THE STUTTER
At the age of four I developed a stutter. This became gradually worse as I became older even though my parents were told that I would grow out of it.
For what fluent people would class as simple tasks like reading from a book at school, answering questions, saying my name and address, ordering items at the bar or in a restaurant, and speaking on the telephone became a constant battle.
It was a very frustrating impediment, as I seemed to be able to talk quite fluently to people I knew well and whom I felt comfortable with, but at other times especially under any form of pressure could not say a word.
At the age of twenty two after about eleven months of sheer hard work and practice I managed to overcome the stutter and I now help other people who stutter to achieve fluency as well as helping people with confidence problems.
MY LACK OF BELIEF
I always had a lack of belief in certain areas.
I would notice a female in a bar for example and would want to go over and talk to her but would have the negative attitude of I'm not good enough, why would she be interested in me? I stutter, I have a bald patch, I have a menial job and I am very thin.
Even if I approach her and am successful, I would then be expected to buy her a drink, possibly phone her, possibly meet her parents, and maybe even get married! The thought of attempting these things with a stutter and with a lack of social confidence was far too daunting for me.
I left school at sixteen mainly due to a lack of confidence and the stutter, but then had the problem of finding a job. Again my lack of belief came shining through. Who would want to employ somebody with a stutter, who has a lack of confidence and who is shy around people?
MY CAREER
After leaving school at the age of sixteen I now had to find employment. Suffering with a stutter and a general lack of confidence meant that work involving the phone or regular interaction with other people were not really an option.
I decided that I could probably cope with filing duties in an office and eventually gained a position at an insurance company.
I started at the lowest grade, a grade two and the work was routine and mundane. The average time to stay at this level before being promoted was six months. The grade three post involved sharing a phone and this is something I found very difficult to use.
To become upgraded you had to apply in writing to the personal officer and then if you passed the interview were then promoted. My attitude was that if I don't apply I would stay as a grade two, which is what I wanted. I was probably the only person in the country who did not want to be promoted.
My boss would ask me at regular intervals why I was not applying and I would make up an excuse. To keep him happy I took the insurance exams. After three years I had completed the first qualification which was a set of five exams. To my horror my boss congratulated me by stating that he was upgrading me to a grade three starting Monday without the need of an interview.
This promotion should in effect have given me a confidence boost however with my stutter out of control under the pressure and some of my colleagues mocking me I became more and more withdrawn and depressed.
I would be invited to social events and would make up excuses of why I could not go as I had a lack of belief that I could cope with the occasion and all the socialising involved.
Stephen Hill now helps people to increase their confidence. He has a website at http://www.gain-confidence.co.uk.
reliable home cleaners Wilmette ...Looking around at our circumstances we may see only mountains... Read More
THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated.... Read More
Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts is a key lesson... Read More
A confidence crisis is looming with a recent study showing... Read More
I was playing tennis today with one of my tennis... Read More
You want to change your self-care habits and you can't... Read More
Barry was on the phone in his office, speaking with... Read More
IntroductionDid your boss, took you for a ride? Did your... Read More
Our thoughts define who we are. They can make us... Read More
Your response (reaction?) to change is conditioned by your entire... Read More
Changing your mindset can have a significant impact on achieving... Read More
Many people who suffer from low self-esteem would give anything... Read More
Bernard always had a problem with money.He was always lacking... Read More
In the self-help and wellness industry, a mission has been... Read More
The Alchemists of old worked over many years, centuries, in... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
I'm sure most of you remember the children's book about... Read More
Many people would say that it is absolute madness to... Read More
It has been said that CHANGE is THE only constant.... Read More
Life shouldn't be so complicated. Have you ever wondered why... Read More
In my work as a professional coach, I've had the... Read More
Speaking comes to most people as naturally as breathing. On... Read More
You are already a winner, and so am I.Although you... Read More
Occasionally people will ask me how I keep a positive... Read More
Think for a moment about all of the signals people... Read More
trusted cleaning company Lincolnshire ...Have you ever noticed what can happen if you just... Read More
I was always somebody who felt quite sorry for myself,... Read More
Wahms, do you constantly compare yourself with others and come... Read More
Words, Ignorance, and Casper The Friendly Ghost!Do your best to... Read More
1. Smile2. Laugh3. Greet people courteously4. Be enthusiastic5. Dream. Engage... Read More
I thought this was fitting sense I just experienced a... Read More
What are you holding onto? Wanta quit?There are many things... Read More
Attitude, has a way of preening itself, often without awareness... Read More
Hey gang; Ok it's time to create some good habits.... Read More
THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated.... Read More
Have you ever noticed how many unhappy people there are... Read More
"You can't always get what you want . . ."... Read More
When you look at your future in terms of your... Read More
The other day I bought an unusual piece of software:... Read More
Ten tips to transform your move into a creative life... Read More
"In life, if you give yourself a concession, you'd take... Read More
Many times when an angry or rageful man comes into... Read More
"If I have the belief that I can do it,... Read More
What do you do when things in your life don't... Read More
The invisible force surrounded him, squeezing tightly around his chest.... Read More
Are you the kind of person who dwells on your... Read More
The fear of success is more common than some might... Read More
In the self-help and wellness industry, a mission has been... Read More
"Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side... Read More
In speaking of comparison we need to be aware that... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |