Home
>
Personal Finance
>
Risky Business: You May Not be as Daring as You Think

Risky Business: You May Not be as Daring as You Think

I thought I was through with exams when I finished college. Then my financial adviser (a.k.a. stockbroker) had me take a test to measure my tolerance for risk. He said, there were no right or wrong answers, but I knew better.

Once I had taken a personality test when I was in career transition (a.k.a. unemployed). My counselor had said the same thing, "There is no right or?," but when he told me my score he noted it was on the edge of the bell curve - the wrong edge. My need for acceptance by others was high; so high that I could not confront a taxi driver who gave me zero change from a $10 bill, on a $4.50 fare.

I was very leery of taking this "risk-tolerance profile." As I expected the questions showed that I was a total "wuss." (In Pittsburgh, if you're 15 and a guy it means you always cover your ears in winter).

A typical question; if your portfolio dropped 21.8 percent in one year, would you:

a. Sell all your equities?

b. Sell 1/3 of your equities and buy intermediate-term, tax-free municipals?

c. No change, staying the course?

I selected 'c' not because I believed in my strategy but out of total fear.

And yet deep down, when it came to the important things in life I felt that I was a risk-taker. I could be as much a risk-taker as an F-16 fighter pilot or a New York City undercover cop. However, no test ever asked the real important questions of life, the kind of questions that affected my daily reality. Questions like:

You have to drive to the airport. You get in your car, turn on the engine, and the gas gauge is on "E." Do you: a) immediately fill up, b) drive to the airport but don't put on the air conditioning, or c) drive back and forth without ever looking at the gas gauge again. OK, now lets add some real risk to the above question. What is your answer assuming your spouse is in the car with you?

Now let's deal with food instead of hedge funds. For example, for breakfast you like your bagels dark but definitely not burned. You've just put a bagel in the toaster, and it is just not dark enough. You put it in the toaster again, just nudging the dial to the optimum position, taking into consideration the heat already generated and the level of darkness around the edges of the bagel. As you wait for your bagel, do you: a) stand there staring at the bagel, b) let the dog out, c) get your newspaper from the driveway and check the Knicks score.

How would your answer change if it were your last bagel?

Now lets deal with the most risky part of life - relationships: Its 11:30 p.m., Thanksgiving Eve; your wife is exhausted, having cooked the 24-pound turkey and the rest of the food. She asks you to place the turkey in the fridge in the basement. She reminds you of last year's fiasco when you forgot to refrigerate the bird. Do you: a) do it immediately; run upstairs to report to her that you completed the task. You then return to the basement to ensure that you have closed the fridge door, b) leave a note for your teenage son to do it when he comes in after midnight.

Now for extra credit. You get a call from your high-school sweetheart. She asks to meet you for coffee in an hour. Do you: a) decline and tell you wife about the call, b) decline and not tell you wife about the call, c) ask your son if you can borrow his mousse. You get the idea. On this kind of test, I would score very high.

I figure once I fine-tune my questions, I could use this kind of questionnaire to screen professionals trying to give me advice. For example, my internist wants me to come in to review the results of my prostate exam and to discuss the different options and the risks involved with each course of action. I may surprise him and ask him to complete my questionnaire first. I want to see what kind of risk-taker he is.

P.S. My stockbroker just took my exam. He failed. I am looking for a new broker. Any recommendations?

Hesh Reinfeld writes a syndicated business humor column. You can read additional examples of his columns on his website: http://www.heshreinfeld.com Or contact him at http://www.heshreinfeld.com

express cleaning service Winnetka ...

In The News:

Paralyzed woman Audrey Crews controls a computer with a brain chip from Elon Musk's Neuralink, demonstrating breakthrough brain-computer interface technology.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Meta removed over 600,000 predatory accounts from Instagram and Facebook while launching enhanced safety protections for teenage users on both platforms.

Facebook crypto scams trick users with fake celebrity endorsements and legitimate-looking cryptocurrency exchange ads that install malware on victims' devices.

Create private chat rooms using the iPhone Notes app collaboration feature with instant messaging capabilities and full control over conversation privacy.

Lyft rolled out safety upgrades with a new Safety Hub, driver blocking capability and a favorite driver option to give riders more control over their experience.

New research shows Americans increasingly trust AI for wellness guidance over social media, with 63% finding artificial intelligence reliable for health.

Luxury fashion brand Dior experienced a January 2025 data breach affecting customer personal information, and notifications were sent months after the discovery.

The commercial Unitree H1 humanoid robot weighs 104 pounds with 365 pound-feet torque per joint and demonstrates dangerous potential when software glitches occur.

Americans average 10-plus hours online daily, according to recent survey, splitting time between streaming shows on TV and browsing websites on multiple devices.

Boost your smartphone privacy instantly with these security tweaks for iPhone and Android that limit ad tracking, hide notifications and prevent unauthorized access.

Platforms like Hoax Tech and JS Click Cloaker help cybercriminals bypass detection systems using machine learning to selectively display scam content to victims.

A new battery recycling technique transforms old lithium-ion batteries into high-performance components that retain 88% capacity after 500 cycles with minimal waste.

Google's Android operating system can warn users about earthquakes before the shaking even begins – and there are ways to do it on your iPhone, too.

Meta's new gesture control wristband might just be the most seamless way to control a computer yet. And no, it doesn't require surgery, a camera, or even a touchscreen. All it needs is your wrist.

Long-haul trucks are now being upgraded with a surprising twist, thanks to California-based startup Revoy. Their electric boost doesn't replace diesel but works alongside it to cut emissions and fuel costs without major disruption.

PayPal and Venmo just rolled out something big: AI-powered scam alerts for Friends and Family payments.

As data centers multiply across the United States, energy demand is increasing at a rapid pace. This has not escaped the notice of large investment firms from Wall Street.

The Unicode Consortium, the nonprofit organization that maintains the Unicode Standard to ensure emojis work across devices, has announced Unicode 17.0, which includes nine new emojis slated for release this fall, in September 2025.

OpenAI is one of the world's leading AI research labs. Founded in 2015, it's behind some of today's most talked-about tools, including GPT, DALL·E, and ChatGPT.

Ever catch your dog staring at the screen during movie night and wonder if they're actually watching? Turns out, they might be. A new scientific study from Auburn University found that many dogs really do engage with television, and not all pups react the same way.

Stop the scammers from making contact in the first place. They're getting your parents' contact information and much more personal data besides, from somewhere.

The Walker S2 robot from UBTech autonomously exchanges its batteries in just three minutes, allowing continuous operation in car factories operated by BYD, Nio and Zeekr.

The FX Super One electric MPV from Faraday Future offers flexible seating, zero-gravity recliners and an AI system that creates a personal connection between driver and vehicle.

Practical solutions for reducing unwanted charity mail, political texts and email spam by opting out of shared lists, replying "STOP" and using data removal services.

Risky Business: You May Not be as Daring as You Think

Personal Finance