The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes wound us deeply, to the very core of our soul. The hurtful words of our children can scar us like no other. They are capable of hurting us with the deepest kind of hurt. When the words "I hate you" spurt forth from the mouth of a five year old in the throes of a temper tantrum we tend to overlook them. When words such as those are hurled at us from the lips of our teenage or adult offspring they cut sharper than any blade forged from steel. The wound can fester leaving us open and vulnerable to future hurt. We forgive them. They're our children, we love them so how can we not forgive them? Yet the pain of such damaging words still lingers. In the back of a parent's mind, it is only natural that doubt should remain. Did he really mean what he said or was it just anger talking? Does my child really hate me? Have I failed as a parent?
We're only human so we're bound to question ourselves. We automatically assume that our offspring are acting out due to our own inadequacies as a parent. We are left feeling a jumble of mixed emotions. We feel angry with our children for the tone they've taken with us; we feel angry with ourselves for not raising them better but most of all we feel hurt. We wonder what we've done to deserve such treatment. Times have changed. Children are more outspoken and candid with their parents but a change of times should not warrant disrespect. As a teenager I would have never treated my mother with the type of disrespect that is so common these days. Certainly we had our moments like every parent and child but I would not have deliberately spoken out against her with malice or contempt.
Many parents tend to blame themselves to the point that they will utterly deny any disrespect directed toward them from their own children. This is done more to protect themselves rather than their offspring. To admit disrespect on the part of their children would be to admit failure on their part. Parents shouldn't always blame themselves for the shortcomings of their daughters and sons. We do the best we can and each child is different as is each parent. It used to be that parents expected too much of their children. Although that still occurs, it seems the roles have reversed to some extent. Now, children expect too much of their parents. This is due in part to the commercialism and competitiveness of the world we live in. Society is one huge commercial venture.
Oftentimes parents are expected to have better jobs, nicer cars and bigger houses. If they can't provide their offspring with fat allowances and the newest name brand clothes they may be labeled a bad parent. Many teenagers have an issue with respect. They fully expect others to treat them with respect but they certainly don't know how to treat others, including their own parents, the same way. Teaching kids good old fashioned values may work for some but definitely not all. Sadly, it appears the temptations of today's world seem to be winning out. Perhaps, divine justice will prevail when our children reap what they sow through their own children.
Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer and columnist for the print publication Moon Shadows Magazine. She is also the author of "Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems" and "The Choosing." Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. For more information visit her website at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com or contact Darlene at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com
disinfecting cleaning services Highland Park ..My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More
Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last... Read More
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
Sex has a lot to answer for ? babies usually... Read More
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache,... Read More
There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More
There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More
best cleaning company Winnetka ..For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
Did you know there's a game children and parents play... Read More
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
According to researchers, most children enter school with a good... Read More
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Most of us when asked what we want our children... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More
Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More
Parenting |