John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large company. He's married and has 3 children, ages 7, 9, and 12. His wife works part-time as a nursing assistant, and they both do as much as they can to parent their children well.
John has developed serious doubts about his ability to be an effective parent in the last couple of years. All of his kids are involved in after school activities, and his demands at work are greater than they've ever been. His lack of time with his kids bothers him a great deal, but he doesn't dare take more time off from work. He's also bothered by his inability to get his kids to listen to him, and he's resorted to yelling and threats as measures of discipline.
John's family seems rushed all the time, and the routines in the morning and at bedtime are almost always chaotic. He often doesn't have the energy when he gets home from work to spend quality time with his kids, and he feels his relationships with them are growing more distant. In particular, he's struggling with his twelve-year-old daughter's behavior. John feels he has little in common with her at this stage in their lives.
Welcome to the life of an American parent in the 21st century.
There are many reasons that parenting today is more difficult than in years past. Here are a few of them:
? The typical, middle income married couple family works 3,885 hours ? that's an increase of 247 hours, or nearly six weeks, more than their counterparts ten years ago.
? Working couples lost an average of 22 hours a week of family and personal time between 1969 and 1999.
? In the last three decades, American families are eating 33% fewer meals together as a family.
? In 1990, the American advertisers spent 100 million dollars advertising to children. In 2000, they spent 2 billion dollars in their advertising to children.
Alvin Toffler once said, "Parenthood remains the greatest single preserve of the amateur." For too long, parents have taken on the most important job they'll ever have with little or no training. Parents can't afford to be amateurs anymore. They must arm themselves with the knowledge, support, and discipline needed to parent their kids effectively. They must take responsibility for the impact their parenting will have on their children. And they must recognize that in today's culture, their kids need them to be there more than ever.
In John's case, hiring a coach helped him to:
? Simplify the life of his family, so they could spend more time together.
? Learn positive discipline skills, so the daily routines went more smoothly and there were fewer conflicts.
? Develop a plan to put in place when he got angry, so he wouldn't do or say something he'd regret later.
? Learn stress reduction skills, both at work and at home, and to learn how to "transition" between work and home.
? Learn how to be less judgmental with his daughter, and to find specific ways to be more connected with her.
Though parenthood can be extremely difficult and challenging at times, it can also be incredibly fulfilling and enjoyable. Most of us would never think of starting a new career without the information and training necessary to be effective. Do we think our job as a parent is less important? Effective parenting skills can be learned by anyone who cares enough to commit to them, and by anyone who knows the importance of good parenting to the future of their kids.
It's time for parents to consider ways they can improve. It may be the best investment they'll ever make.
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com or email him at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.
licensed cleaning services Park Ridge ..In a single dose of children's television, I was bombarded... Read More
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
Being a single mother is no easy task. I know.... Read More
Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
Many people still think that the game of chess is... Read More
? Let the child choose his or her own lunch... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers,... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
on demand house cleaning Arlington Heights ..Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
It's been said, time and again, that for a child... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More
If you are a parent, then more than likely you... Read More
It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233Percentage... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
Child tantrums are a way for children to express their... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
Parenting |