Home
>
Parenting
>
The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour

The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour

Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by one or more of their children's annoying habits or behaviours, whether it is a toddler who continually whines, a school-aged child who leaves clothes lying around or a teenager who uses a less than pleasant vocabulary.

How to affect change is a challenge for many parents. Do you ignore a child's annoying behaviour or do you pick up on it? A useful rule of thumb is to pick up on behaviours that are dangerous to the child himself or significantly infringe on the rights and comfort of others.

Also ask yourself: Is this behaviour reasonable for the child's age? For instance, it is reasonable to expect an eight year old not to disturb you while you are on the phone for twenty minutes but it is not reasonable to expect the same of a two year old.

It is also useful to take into account the child's current state of mind and what is going in on their lives that may be related to some unusual behaviour to occur at home.

The following four principles for changing your child's behaviour will be effective if you are both patient and persistent.

Principle one: Change your initial response first. This is important because children's behaviour generally requires a pay-off, which may be your attention or an attempt to defeat you. The most important principle about changing children's behaviour is to change your own behaviour first.So if your child' whines (a child's version of water torture) to get his own way refrain from answering back or giving in.

Principle two: Practise with your child the behaviour that you want. The notion of behaviour rehearsal is fundamental to learning a new behaviour. Don't just tell kids what you expect, get them to practise the behaviour you want. In the example of a young whiner - get him to practise asking for help or a treat in a normal voice.

Principle three: Minimise the behaviour you don't want. That means when children continue their old behaviour despite your brilliant suggestions ignore it, sidestep it or implement a consequence but don't nag or harp on it. Remember it takes time often to change a behaviour, particularly if it has been happening for a long time.

Principle four: Spotlight the appropriate behaviour. When your children behave in the desired way show your sincere appreciation. We often take children for granted or rather we are trained to give children no attention when they are good, but plenty when they are less than perfect. The behaviours we focus on expand so we need to focus our attention on desirable behaviours more than on the negative behaviours. For our young whiner it is essential to make a fuss when he uses a normal voice to get what he wants.

Like any process it will only work if you stick to it and follow it through. And don't be afraid to adapt it to suit your circumstances. Remember, it is the fact that you have a plan rather than the nature of the plan that is most powerful in achieving a change in your children's behaviour.

For practical ideas to make children's irritating behaviours such as whining, nagging, tantrums and sibling fighting disappear read Michael Grose's ground-breaking book - One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print. For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

pet-friendly home cleaners Deerfield ...

In The News:

Facebook crypto scams trick users with fake celebrity endorsements and legitimate-looking cryptocurrency exchange ads that install malware on victims' devices.

Create private chat rooms using the iPhone Notes app collaboration feature with instant messaging capabilities and full control over conversation privacy.

Lyft rolled out safety upgrades with a new Safety Hub, driver blocking capability and a favorite driver option to give riders more control over their experience.

New research shows Americans increasingly trust AI for wellness guidance over social media, with 63% finding artificial intelligence reliable for health.

Luxury fashion brand Dior experienced a January 2025 data breach affecting customer personal information, and notifications were sent months after the discovery.

The commercial Unitree H1 humanoid robot weighs 104 pounds with 365 pound-feet torque per joint and demonstrates dangerous potential when software glitches occur.

Americans average 10-plus hours online daily, according to recent survey, splitting time between streaming shows on TV and browsing websites on multiple devices.

Boost your smartphone privacy instantly with these security tweaks for iPhone and Android that limit ad tracking, hide notifications and prevent unauthorized access.

Platforms like Hoax Tech and JS Click Cloaker help cybercriminals bypass detection systems using machine learning to selectively display scam content to victims.

A new battery recycling technique transforms old lithium-ion batteries into high-performance components that retain 88% capacity after 500 cycles with minimal waste.

Google's Android operating system can warn users about earthquakes before the shaking even begins – and there are ways to do it on your iPhone, too.

Meta's new gesture control wristband might just be the most seamless way to control a computer yet. And no, it doesn't require surgery, a camera, or even a touchscreen. All it needs is your wrist.

Long-haul trucks are now being upgraded with a surprising twist, thanks to California-based startup Revoy. Their electric boost doesn't replace diesel but works alongside it to cut emissions and fuel costs without major disruption.

PayPal and Venmo just rolled out something big: AI-powered scam alerts for Friends and Family payments.

As data centers multiply across the United States, energy demand is increasing at a rapid pace. This has not escaped the notice of large investment firms from Wall Street.

The Unicode Consortium, the nonprofit organization that maintains the Unicode Standard to ensure emojis work across devices, has announced Unicode 17.0, which includes nine new emojis slated for release this fall, in September 2025.

OpenAI is one of the world's leading AI research labs. Founded in 2015, it's behind some of today's most talked-about tools, including GPT, DALL·E, and ChatGPT.

Ever catch your dog staring at the screen during movie night and wonder if they're actually watching? Turns out, they might be. A new scientific study from Auburn University found that many dogs really do engage with television, and not all pups react the same way.

Stop the scammers from making contact in the first place. They're getting your parents' contact information and much more personal data besides, from somewhere.

The Walker S2 robot from UBTech autonomously exchanges its batteries in just three minutes, allowing continuous operation in car factories operated by BYD, Nio and Zeekr.

The FX Super One electric MPV from Faraday Future offers flexible seating, zero-gravity recliners and an AI system that creates a personal connection between driver and vehicle.

Practical solutions for reducing unwanted charity mail, political texts and email spam by opting out of shared lists, replying "STOP" and using data removal services.

Delta's new AI pricing system eliminates static airfares for personalized rates based on individual data, raising questions about fairness while promising optimized revenue.

AI data centers are straining the power grid across 13 states, contributing to a $9 billion increase in electricity costs, and PJM customers face monthly bill increases of $25 or more.

Artificial intelligence is transforming the music industry as AI-generated bands like The Velvet Sundown earn substantial streaming revenue, prompting lawsuits from major record labels.

The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour

Parenting