"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and wonder, 'How did I ever get here?'"
-- Joy Rose from the band "Housewives on Prozac"
I'm sure any mom on the planet can relate to that quote and the sense of exhaustion and bewilderment that it implies. Let's face it, ladies, after cooking, cleaning, caring, chauffeuring, and "career-ing" we're pretty frazzled - physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. We dream of lives we don't believe we will ever be able to live, long to go away on a luxury vacation we will probably never be able to afford, or struggle to just put life on "pause" long enough to refuel before we have to tackle that next mountain of laundry. Unfortunately, those dreams look pretty hopeless, this side of the stack of dirty dishes in the sink.
The Graceful Art of Defrazzling means learning to live our lives in moments and seasons. Living in moments means that we must learn to take small amounts of time each day to refresh our souls, laugh, breathe deeply, express gratitude, and rejoice over our children and husbands - especially on the bad days! We need to look for natural pauses in our days: waiting at a stop light or in a grocery store line; while we wait for the pot to boil; right after the kids go down for their naps - and other little breaks in our day - to take a brief vacation from drudgery. We need to use these moments to stop and look for small, present things to cherish: the golden curls on our toddler's head; the warm sunshine outside; the sound of children's laughter; the feel of a baby's soft skin; the taste of a perfectly brewed cup of quality tea. We need to use little pauses in our day to take baby steps toward our bigger goals like tucking five dollars away for future dreams, skimming great books for deeper inspiration, or glancing at pictures of our ideal life and dreaming a little. We may not be able to get away for a month long vacation, but if we take little five-minute vacations every day, we will find ourselves more relaxed and available for our families. We may not have time or money to become a world class professional pastry chef right now, but we can get a book out of the library on gourmet desserts and throw a surprise together for tonight's supper. A week on a beach may be an impossible dream, but we can drop the kids off at friend's house and go sit on a park bench in the sunshine for an hour.
We need to look for moments, but we must also live in seasons. Living in seasons means we need to remember that what we are experiencing now is not what we will experience forever. When the kids are really young and we're not getting any sleep, knowing that this is temporary is helpful. We may not have time for anything right now except for survival - but if we're using our moments to prepare for the next season while we learn to get through this one, things will be different. Seasons enable us to cope with today, but also look to the future. They enable us to see past the spilled supper on the floor ,and the terrible two's, to a time when things will be calmer. Living in seasons also enables us to take the time we need to create and cherish special moments with our family. Instead of rushing from feeding the baby to cleaning out the basement, or brushing off our child's request to "come and see!" so that we can get dinner started, we'll realize that this season is but a brief drop in the bucket of time and that it will soon be over. Dinner and cleaning can usually wait while we connect in a special way with our family members. We need to recognize the season we're in, and learn to deal with each season in a way that creates a solid foundation for the next one.
So the next time you're wearily folding laundry, give thanks for the person each item belongs to, say a prayer for them, cherish a special memory you have of them - or plan to create a new one, and remember that "this too, shall pass".
This is the graceful art of De-frazzling - for mothers.
Darlene Hull, www.mom-defrazzler.com
*******************************************************************
Publishing and Re-Print Guidelines
* The article text, resource box, URLs and copyright information must be left intact and unchanged
* When re-published online, all links must be live hyperlinks.
* These articles may not be distributed in any manner that does not comply with federal communication guidelines.
* These articles must not be password protected or limited to membership or paid-only viewing. These articles must remain free.
*******************************************************************
Darlene Hull is a local, ordinary, imperfect mom who sees her mission as helping moms look after themselves so that they can better look after their families. Darlene is married to Tom and has two children ? Simon (12) and Christina (10.5) whom she home schools. You can find out more about her on her website at http://www.mom-defrazzler.com and even download a free "Mom-Defrazzler" while you're there.
licensed cleaning services Park Ridge .."Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More
Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More
Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
Have you ever wondered why toys for babies tend to... Read More
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More
What would it be like to have a clone? What... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More
Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who... Read More
Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
on demand house cleaning Arlington Heights ..1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just... Read More
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More
Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
Gift shops are a kid magnet and often a trip... Read More
When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More
Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More
Parenting |