"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in the newspaper. That's the name of my radio program here in California's central valley. It was interesting enough for me to buy the paper and read the story. The article was about a recent study called The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, a survey of about 90,000 teenagers (age 12-18). The sub-headline was "Study debunks belief nothing works with teens."
My first response was, "Who's belief is that?" The reporter wrote as if a new revelation had just been handed down from heaven in the form of this study. As a result of this major study on adolescents, she wrote, we have found that "families are more important than previously thought, perhaps as important as peers. . . The primacy of peer relationships has been a widely held concept among professionals since the 1960's."
Yes, the reporter, and the researchers, were shocked to find out that the family is still important! "These findings offer the parents of America a blueprint for what works in protecting their kids from harm," said Richard Udry of UNC Chapel Hill.
What is this amazing, secret blueprint that will now be revealed to you parents who are assumed to not know any better? "The most significant finding is that the teenagers who reported feeling close to their families were the least likely to engage in any of the risky behaviors studied . . . Nearly as important were high expectations from the parents for their teenager's school performance."
I'm stunned.
They surveyed 90,000 kids to find out that families that love, care for, and nurture each other produce kids who don't get in trouble as much as families that cast their kids into the hands of other teenagers (known as the "peer group") to be raised by a pack of 15 year olds. Also, families where parents actually CARE about school performance, and expect their kids to work to their potential produce kids who don't get into trouble as much as families who don't care.
I'm glad science has finally come around to this point of view.
How bad are things across America? Pretty bad for many families. Using a sample size of 12,118 students interviewed, here's the picture of teenagers in America today:
"The only factor that was linked with a lower risk factor across the board was a close-knit family, the study found."
So parents, please get more involved in the lives of your children. Spend more time with them. Quantity time is as important as quality time. Encourage your teens to work hard to reach their goals. Encourage them to "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with their God." Parents should be their teen's role models, not other teens who have yet to experience much in the way of life or wisdom themselves. Parents, let's step it up a bit. It will make a big difference in the lives of our teens.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
family-safe home cleaners Des Plaines ...Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After... Read More
The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
personalized cleaning services Wilmette ...Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied... Read More
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
What is child sexual abuse? Any sexual activity that is... Read More
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More
An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More
Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and... Read More
As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then at... Read More
Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
Some people can concentrate on an assignment, to the exclusion... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Successful parents have learned to be both firm and kind... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
Parenting |