Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that my children knew how to behave in nice restaurants because they had been exposed to the atmosphere at an early age. My idea of well behaved might be different from yours, however, I think there are certain basics that are important and universal.
When my daughters were babies, we would take them wherever we went. If they began to fuss or cry, one of us would promptly remove them from the room/restaurant/market/wherever. Not because we felt their crying or fussing was a bad thing. No, it's a perfectly normal occurrence for infants and toddlers. We removed them as a courtesy to others who we felt did not need to be as tolerant as we were with our children's noise. In consequence, my daughters know that other people are not as wildly in love with their racket or with them as we are. Nor should they be expected to be.
As our children grew older, they were always told the rules of our outings, how to behave and to always speak softly if other adults were present. Sometimes, it's fine to let them get a little crazy ... just know your audience! If we are at a five star restaurant where many other diners have come to enjoy a gracious and expensive meal, would we expect everyone there to be enthralled with junior's vocal or behavioral outbursts? Would we really expect them to care if our child is having a bout with walking pneumonia and coughing uncontrollably? Nope. It's rude. And rudeness is basically nothing more than bad manners. If there is an emergency with your child, by all means don't give a flying flamingo about what others think. But this is the exception. Besides, children who are that sick belong at home, not in public.
Last night, my girls and I were in a department store. There was a toddler carrying on and screaming for more than 15 minutes when my younger daughter said:
"Now his mommy is going to tell him to stop because there are other people in here that don't want to hear it!"
Unfortunately, his mommy did not tell him any such thing. She let him wail and scream and cry, much to the chagrin and annoyance of everyone else in the store. You know what? As much as I love kids and cannot bear to see or hear them suffering, I disliked this kid immensely!
My reasoning is this: if our kids learn that they are free to trample on the peace, space or rose gardens of others, they will develop into spoiled and inconsiderate brats. And then who will like them? Who will want to spend time with them? Who, besides their forgiving parents, will be able to tolerate their lack of social graces and good manners? No one ? except maybe another ill-mannered person who feels at home with a similarly clueless individual. Do we really want our children reduced to such horrible options? I think not.
We teach our children not to steal, lie or punch their brother in the nose. Shouldn't we teach them respect for others at the same time? That their whining and out-of-control behavior is something no one really wants to hear or witness, especially strangers who have no vested interest in their developing minds or self-esteem? A simple reminder of the rules, consistently, works wonders ... eventually. ;-)
Good luck. Kids need to learn manners and social graces. They will go farther in life if we teach them well.
Copyright ? 2000-2004- Rexanne Mancini
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com ? http://www.rexanne.com Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com
monthly home cleaning Buffalo Grove ..Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More
As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More
There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as... Read More
How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More
You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More
Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More
The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
I know as a single parent or even with 2... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More
Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
scheduled maid service Mundelein ..One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More
Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More
In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More
Diapers..Changing a dirty diaper is not the best part of... Read More
"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More
As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More
A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More
Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green... Read More
Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More
There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More
"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More
I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture... Read More
Parenting |