Home
>
Parenting
>
Raising A High Maintenance Child

Raising A High Maintenance Child

Do you have a high maintenance child?

"Thank goodness my second child wasn't born first. I would have stopped at one child if he was my first," said a mother at a recent parenting seminar.

Many parents can relate to this sentiment. Nature has a way of evening out the score for parents. If you have an easy first born then hang on to your hat because chances are the second or third or fourth born will bring you back to reality.

Most families have one child who takes up more of a parent's time, energy and mindspace than others. These high maintenance children have all sorts of misbehaviours to keep their parents busy or in their service. They may whinge or whine to get their own way. They may interrupt you just when you have started a conversation or settled down for a chat on the telephone. They may even embarrass you in front of your friends or begin to pull the cat's tail just as you settle to breastfeed a younger sibling. They can be tearful, self-indulgent, argumentative, bossy and just plain stubborn.

And what's worse, they are often only high maintenance kids for their parents. Take them to creche', pre school or school and the demands for attention reduce dramatically. "How was she today?" you ask as you pick up your child at the end of the day. You feel crest-fallen when the adult in charge replies, "Not a problem. She was great!" But worse, you know when you get home the demands on your time and attention will begin and they won't cease until she (or you) falls asleep.

High maintenance kids are demanding, exasperating and exhausting. They also take use up your time and energy that you would like to devote to your other children. You would love to spend more time with Perfect Pete but Turbo Terry, Argumentative Aaron or Whining Willemina just keep doing those things that they do so well.

So what's the solution? What is the cure? That's a hard one. There is no magic pill for parents. Yes, some children who are diagnosed with ADHD are given a pill regularly in the form of ritolin. These little pills have become very popular over the last decade as the number of children diagnosed with ADHD has increased dramatically. Only recently have we as a community begun to question the wisdom of keeping up a supply of this drug to children. None of my children have had ADHD so I would not dare to point a finger at any parent who must live with a child with full-blown, A grade ADHD. I take my hat off to your dedication and persistence as you must develop this if you are to live with such a child.

But most high maintenance child don't fall into this category. Many just need to be weaned off their parent's attention. We become so adept at responding to these kids' misbehaviours that attending to them becomes habitual. So try breaking the habit of giving attention when they misbehave. Now that's hard. When they want your attention do something completely different. But be ready for their attention-seeking stuff to escalate. It always does. Ignore the whining and it will increase in volume. Ignore a child's constant interruptions while you are on the telephone and be prepared for an ear-splitting shriek to contend with or even a mess to clean up. It is parents who generally experience the consequences of a high maintenance's child's behaviour. That is the way of high maintenance children.

But you have to change your own way of reacting so your child doesn't get his jollies from keeping you busy with him or her. Most parents never do this because the reactionary habit is ingrained and the behaviour will escalate so we give up in the face of increased misbehaviour. Misbehaviour will generally get worse before it gets better. It is the norm when dealing with high maintenance children. That's why they are such hard work to raise. Alternatively, you can keep giving them heaps of B-grade attention when they are less than perfect and my hunch they will still grow up to be well-adjusted adults. It is just you as a parent who has a hard time of it in the meantime.

Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

professional maid services Glencoe ..

In The News:

Cybersecurity expert shares six essential steps to protect against dark web threats, including data removal services, password managers and antivirus software.

NVIDIA GPU space mission could revolutionize cloud services by enabling orbital data centers that make apps, games and AI tools faster and more efficient.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Microsoft warns Windows 10 users face serious security risks as 90% of ransomware attacks target unsupported systems. Learn why upgrading to Windows 11 is crucial.

Nike unveils Project Amplify, revolutionary motorized shoes developed with Dephy that add powered assistance to every step for runners and walkers.

Cybersecurity experts warn about one of the largest credential compilations ever found, urging users to check "Have I Been Pwned" and change passwords immediately.

Quick iPhone and Android battery optimization techniques help your device stay powered all day by turning off hidden features that secretly drain power in the background.

Kodiak Driver autonomous truck achieves perfect 98 safety score, matching top human fleets in groundbreaking AI evaluation by Nauto's VERA system.

New 401k catch-up contribution rules in 2026 will change taxes for high earners over 50. Learn how scammers exploit these changes and protect your retirement savings.

Kurt Knutsson's guide covers social media privacy protection through location settings, account privacy controls and two-factor authentication to prevent scams and data breaches.

Revolutionary retinal implant restores central vision in 80% of patients with advanced macular degeneration, offering hope where treatments once only slowed blindness.

Learn how to use passkeys on Windows and Mac computers without cameras or fingerprint readers. Discover secure authentication methods that replace passwords.

Tesla's FSD v14.1.2 update reintroduces Mad Max mode, enabling higher speeds and more frequent lane changes than the standard Hurry profile setting.

A phishing email scam targeting American Express customers shows how cybercriminals use fake urgent messages to steal personal and financial information.

Facebook's new Meta AI feature analyzes your camera roll photos to create polished collages automatically, but requires cloud processing and raises privacy concerns.

A New Jersey teenager filed a major lawsuit against AI/Robotics Venture Strategy 3 Ltd. over ClothOff, an AI tool that created fake nude images from her social media photos.

Microsoft reports Storm-2657 cybercriminals sent phishing emails to 6,000 addresses at 25 universities to steal payroll credentials and redirect funds.

Astronomers have discovered asteroid 2025 SC79, a skyscraper-sized space rock orbiting the sun in just 128 days. the second-fastest known.

The Fox News AI Newsletter delivers the latest developments form the world of artificial intelligence, including the technology's challenges and opportunities.

A cyberattack on SimonMed Imaging exposed personal information of 1.2 million patients, including medical records, financial details and identity papers.

Spotify's managed accounts for kids under 13 now available in at least seven countries, allowing parents to filter and block explicit content and songs.

Friendly text conversations about BBQs and social events can lead to WEEX gold trading scams that target older adults with fake investment opportunities.

California company Skyeports creates self-healing glass spheres from Moon regolith that generate solar power and support plant growth for sustainable lunar living.

Cleafy researchers discover fake VPN streaming app Mobdro Pro that installs Klopatra banking Trojan, giving attackers full control over Android devices.

Police departments across the U.S. and Canada are adopting virtual reality training to better prepare officers for high-pressure, real-world situations.

Raising A High Maintenance Child

Parenting