Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or interviews to pass. Children can become parents, mentally disabled people ? it's even possible to become a parent while in a coma!
When my mother, who is a truly great parent still, became a mom the first time, she was 19 and had very little experience with children. The hospital gave her 1 piece of paper with instructions and sent her on her way. Dolls come with more instructions than that!
We sometimes take for granted all the information at our fingertips today that didn't exist as recently as 30 years ago. When I was a baby, if it wasn't in Dr. Spock's book, Mom was on her own. Today, parents are overwhelmed with information, often conflicting, and are often, as my mother was, on their own, but with more opportunities to make an informed decision.
I have been approached many times for advice on parenting by not only parents, but also prospective parents thinking ahead. The advise I always give is: Pay Attention.
As our children grow from the highly tactical stages into more strategic years, paying attention becomes more critical. Pay attention to who their friends are, starting at an early age. You can learn a lot about your own child by getting to know their friends. You may also want to limit exposure to some kids ? you're allowed to do that. (I've been known to say that I didn't want a child at my house, but always give a reasonable reason why.)
Also, talk with your children. The subject matter isn't always important during the younger ages, but keeping those lines of communication open will become more critical as they grow. When they have a problem with another child, role play with them. You be your child and have them play the part of the 'perpetrator'. You'll be teaching them how to handle their own problems as well as good communication skills. Keep in mind that a 7-year-old doesn't always have the vocabulary they need to express themselves ? you need to teach them.
Pay attention to what your child reads and the language she uses. Get to know her teachers and principal. Talk with other parents about their experiences for comparison. Pay attention to what your children wear, what their friends wear and current fashion. Keep it weather appropriate and pick your battles. Too much belly showing may be inappropriate for a 10 year old. Watch for gang-type clothing or accessories. These choices in our young children can be indicative of a problem requiring your intervention, so pay attention.
As your children grow older, they still need you to demonstrate that you care by setting strong boundaries on their behavior. My mother never needed to enforce much of a curfew on me since all my friends had them and there wasn't much going on late in Rapid City, SD. She insisted, however, on knowing where I was and who I was with AT ALL TIMES ? even after I had my own car.
Pay attention to how your children spend their money ? start young. Teaching fiscal responsibility is one of the most important items on your job description. Modeling irresponsibility and debt acquisition will not help your kids grow into fiscally responsible adults. Teach your boys and girls how to save, shop for the best price, budget, work, balance a checkbook, invest, etc.
Along those same lines, teach your children to cook and clean, and require some of these jobs as their contribution to the family team ? and start early here, too. My 8 year old began cooking this year ? canned soup and Kraft macaroni and cheese! Model good eating habits and teach them to do menu planning and grocery shopping. When they leave home, you will want them to do their own laundry ? trust me!
The bottom line is: You are preparing human beings for adulthood. If your offspring are happy during the process, that's wonderful, but not the primary directive. Being happy all the time is simply not realistic anyway. When they leave you around age 18, they need to know how to get along with people, get and hold a job, manage their money and their time, be responsible for their behavior and potentially lead others.
There is much, much more to parenting than I can write here. Please feel free to contact me for a parenting discussion any time!
About The Author
Audrey Burton, Business and Life Coach. Audrey is a caring, but no-nonsense coach. Audrey's ultimate goal is to help women to be happy with their work and life. She keeps you focused and motivated by helping you set priorities according to only your agenda. To sign up for her free, monthly email newsletter and to better understand how she works, visit her website at http://www.audreyburton.com. You only live once ? love your life today!
after renovation cleaning Bannockburn ...Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More
Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make... Read More
How on earth can you help your family cope with... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
Parents are in a unique position to "monitor" their children's... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More
Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More
detailed home cleaning Lincolnshire ...At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
Is it hard to communicate with your teenager about issues... Read More
Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More
You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
Parenting |