It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that first sip of a cold quality beer I knew it was sure to ease my thirst. However, I never expected that in that same frosted mug were also lessons on how to be a better Dad.
Often as fathers we find parental inspiration in the most unlikely of places. For me, further insight into my parenting skills came to me just last week while attending a seminar on beer & BBQ'ing. Perhaps it was the samples of fine micro-brews, or spending time in the company of other Dad's, but as our speaker discussed the secrets of brewing a premium beer, my mind began to draw comparisons to parenting.
I learned that when it comes to making beer, everyone starts out with roughly the same raw ingredients?barley, hops, yeast, and water. Why then is there such a difference between a bottle of "buck a beer" and a quality brew? The answer lies comes down to many factors, including time & quality, and process.
Great beer takes time. Commercial brew masters will tell you that while you can turn out a beer in just a few weeks, if you want to greatly increase the quality, you need more time--quality time.
The same is true when building relationships with our kids. While we can "get by" only fitting in an hour here and there with them during our week, the more time we are willing to spend with our kids--playing, reading, talking, listening, learning things together--will result in a much richer quality relationship. Great Dads know that each moment spent actively engaged with their children is an investment in future relationships.
There is no substitute for quality. In 1493 Duke George the Rich of Bayers-Landshut enacted an order which was extended to the whole of Bavaria in 1516. This is known as the Bavarian Purity Law. Like the brewer's oath, it states that nothing may be added to beer other than barley, hops and water. To this day, the rules of the Purity Law are followed by many breweries around the world, resulting in beer of exceptional quality. However, many commercial breweries detour from these standards, trading off quality for cost savings. One example involves substituting large quantities of expensive malted barley with inexpensive corn syrup. While the resulting product is still palatable to many, beer experts can tell you there is a noticeable difference in quality to a premium full-barley version.
As Dads it's easy to substitute quality time for just "time". The key is in giving your undivided attention. Whether it is exploring a frog pond, making pizza, or reading stories together before bed, your kids should know you are theirs and theirs alone. By being "present in the moment" during play or discussions, you show them how important they are to you. Avoid being an "unconscious parent"-doing one thing but thinking of another. Be there in body as well as in mind and spirit.
Process is important. You can give five different brewers the same ingredients, and the results could be staggeringly different. One might produce a quality ale, the other a light lager, still another something completely undrinkable.
In addition to what you might already be doing as a Dad, consider the following ...
Create family rituals. Family movie/games night? Weekend or holiday traditions? Consider starting a family scrapbook and/or photo album. Together you can decide which items (photos, souvenirs, etc.) should go in it, and the captions or comments to be written. Not only does this create a family keepsake, recording a portion of your family life and history, but it allows you to recall moments in your lives ? laughing, joking and reliving the good times all over again ? together. After all, the best souvenirs are the memories that we make.
Work to make ordinary things fun. Who says washing dishes, cleaning up, or walking to the store for milk has to be boring. By turning things into games, or using your imagination, the unexciting everyday jobs that make up a large part of our lives can be made interesting, or at least more bearable. Life is what we make of it-and much of that is dependent on the attitude from which we approach it.
Let your kids get to know the real you. Sure, they know "Dad", but what about the other parts of your personality? As is appropriate for their ages, begin sharing your thoughts and dreams with them. Let them know that you too get scared sometimes, or wonder what the future will hold. Tell them about when you were a boy, and some of the good and not-so-good times and experience you had growing up. Do they know your passions? If, for instance, you love the outdoors and art, then share these by going on hikes, canoeing, and exploring art galleries with your kids. Add new dimensions to familiar activities as you re-experience them through your children's eyes.
If all you ever drink is the same economy brand of beer, you may never know what you are missing when it comes to some of the finer beers out there. Without comparison, you are likely quite happy on a steady diet of a lesser quality product. Will it hurt you or affect your potential? Not likely. But as parents if we choose to consistently deliver a lower quality product will that affect our children's potential? Absolutely!
This weekend, why not treat yourself and your kids to something special. Make plans upgrade both your beer and your parenting. Try something new. One warning though ... once you've experienced the good stuff, you'll never be satisfied with low quality product again ... and the same goes for your beer. Cheers!
Award-winning educator, author & parent coach, Rob Stringer is currently working on his first book, Parenting with Intention, and has launched a free monthly newsletter by the same name. Visit http://www.parentingwithintention.ca to subscribe, access resources, or learn more about PWI's parent coaching services.
Rolling Meadows Cadillac Escalade rental .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareChildren are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More
There are a LOT of alternative treatments for sale out... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that... Read More
On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
How on earth can you help your family cope with... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
Des Moines rental limo ..Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
At the ADHD Information Library we are big believers that... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
'Picky Eater' is a label coined to describe the phenomenon... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More
? Let the child choose his or her own lunch... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More
Did you know there's a game children and parents play... Read More
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More
How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
Parenting |