Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. But what if your child constantly demonstrates negative behaviour? How are you going to deal with it?
It can get very frustrating for a mother who is yelled at every time she says 'no' to a child. In my clinic, I've seen parents who feel desperate when their son or daughter who used to behave like a "saint" is now rebellious, oppositional, and involved in drugs.
As a parent, what are your options?
Establish a Hierarchy of Consequences for Inappropriate Behaviour
Different behaviours require varying degrees of discipline. There is no single method effective for all individuals and all types of unacceptable behaviour.
One effective way of instilling order is by creating a graduated form of discipline - from a simple and effortless method to a more serious way of dealing with the behaviour.
Ignoring the Behaviour
Certain behaviour becomes worse if you pay attention to the child. Temper tantrum is one example. An effective way to deal with some behaviour like temper tantrum is to ignore it. By doing this, you don't reward it with too much attention.
Granny Gestures
This is the second line of offence against inappropriate behaviour. This type of discipline can deal with the first infractions regardless of whether they are major or minor. Granny gestures involve hand movements such as waving the right pointing finger back and forth after an incident. Immediately after an inappropriate behaviour such as not cleaning up or not making the bed, wave your pointing finger.
Counting One to Five
Counting one to five is the next level if your child remains defiant or unresponsive to your granny gestures. This process requires a reminder that the unacceptable behaviour still exists and if it continues after you count to five, then a more serious form of consequence will be enforced. Also, counting provides children the time to think and to realize their mistake.
Time-out
Time-out is a more serious form of discipline. If the inappropriate behaviour persists, you tell your child to go to one corner of your house. The corner should be well lit, safe, and not isolated. It should be a place where you can still see what your child is doing.
What should be the appropriate duration for time-out? In my opinion, the duration should depend upon the nature of the infraction, the frequency of such infraction, and the age of your child.
Taking Away Privileges
Taking away privileges requires that you first identify your child's likes and interests at home and that you take one or more of them away for a certain period of time as a consequence of inappropriate behaviour.
Take away the toy or activity that interests your child. Taking away privileges should be time-limited, realistic, and feasible.
Copyright ? 2005. Dr. Michael G. Rayel ? author (First Aid to Mental Illness?Finalist, Reader's Preference Choice Award 2002) psychiatrist, and inventor of Oikos Game: An Emotional Intelligence or EQ Game. For more information, visit http://www.oikosgame.com and http://www.oikosgame.com
weekly home cleaning Highland Park ..Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More
What is child sexual abuse? Any sexual activity that is... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More
As a parent you will be asked to assist with... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More
Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer... Read More
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More
There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More
whole house cleaning Park Ridge ..Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!Are you often a participant in... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
I had my first two children on either side of... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More
Parenting |