Finding out that a child has been born with a disability, or that a previously healthy child has suffered an injury or disease that causes a disability can be the most traumatic moment in a parent's life. Shock is usually the first thing people experience. It can temporarily paralyze you, preventing you from taking action, or even making rational decisions. In this difficult first period it is always wise to take the counsel of professionals and family members with experience or others whom you trust, while always maintaining the right to make the final decision yourselves.
After coming to grips with the shock of their situation, many parents come to feel that their expectations have been dashed, that they are failures as parents or that their family has been destroyed. Uncertainty, blame or jealousy may arise. Parents may worry about hundreds of questions that have few immediate answers which can lead to an unbalanced and overly bleak view of the opportunities, potential, and joy that can be found in raising a child with a disability.
These emotions however are normal; part of a "mourning" process that many parents of children with disabilities go through. If you have these feelings, remember that you are not the only ones who feel this way, and that you will get over them. You can adjust more quickly by obtaining accurate information, sharing your feelings openly with others, seeking professional counseling, and, most importantly, having open discussions with all members of your immediate family. With time, love, and support, any negative emotions you feel can be replaced by positive ones leading to productive actions that will benefit your child.
It is not the end of the world, and many families have become stronger, more loving, and more closely knit because of a disability in the family. The disability gave them the opportunity to work together to help out their loved one, and the entire family shares in the gains that are made by the child. Many of the negatives that parents imagine that go along with having a child who has a disability simply do not occur. While you will have to make some sacrifices, you will still have time for your friends, family, and hobbies. After awhile, many of the activities you once viewed as sacrifices will come to be seen as part of every life, rather than an exceptional burden.
Developing a positive attitude is very important, and although children with disabilities will inevitably become aware of their limitations, they should always be encouraged to take on new challenges. This is sometimes difficult as children with physical limitations may be reluctant to participate in physical activities out of fear of failure. Despite these fears, both the child's and the parent's perspective should be "have fun, and do your best."
Some parents of children with disabilities are unable to have their special child live at home with them, but the vast majority is able to successfully manage within the home. If you are finding you cannot cope, there are alternatives available that will allow you to maintain a loving relationship with your child while maximizing appropriate care.
The most important factor in a family's success is the motivation to succeed. If a child realizes that his parents always encourage success and will not be satisfied with anything less than his best effort, he will be motivated to succeed. Never settling for failure becomes part of his character, and his self-esteem will be enhanced and maintained.
There is a wide range of disabilities that affect children but the constant emphasis on always trying your best, reinforced in an atmosphere of warmth and support, will help any child with a disability triumph over the challenge that he will face. Instilling this confidence will help him have faith in himself and work on his own behalf throughout the course of his entire life.
About The Author
Dr. Mark Nagler is an acknowledged expert for people with disabilities. He was born with Cerebral Palsy and has triumphed over his disability by becoming an expert in the Disability Studies field. He has a B.A. from the University of British Columbia, a Masters degree from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from Stirling University in Britain. Dr. Nagler approaches disability from a different perspective than that offered by most experts and, although he has never been able to write, he was able to achieve his impressive array of degrees. He taught at Hamilton's McMaster University and the University of Waterloo and he has lectured across Canada, the United States, Britain, Sweden, Hungary and Israel. He has used his cerebral palsy to empower students, parents and anyone else with whom he comes in contact. His book, "Yes You Can", illustrates his own experience in over coming disability and his other work, "What's Stopping You?", conveys strategies that adults can successfully use in living with disability.
www.marknagler.com; www.marknagler.com
monthly home cleaning Buffalo Grove ..1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More
The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
Some years ago when touring the Scottish Highlands, a man... Read More
Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More
It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More
Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it... Read More
Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More
In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
Recently I took my two children to a popular new... Read More
How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is... Read More
"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More
scheduled maid service Mundelein ..School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More
Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More
Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child... Read More
As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More
Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found... Read More
Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
Let's face it.The job market is getting tougher every day.Computerization... Read More
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More
You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
Parenting |