When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some fairly fixed ideas about how we wanted to raise our child, including allowing her to share our bed for as long as she wanted to.
We have been shocked and sometimes upset at other people's reaction to what seemed to be a very instinctive decision, to sleep with our daughter. I am often made to justify this decision and made to feel as if we are "bad" parents just because we hadn't trained her to sleep in a cot in her own room by 8 weeks old.
As it happens, we didn't even really talk about it, it just seemed the right and natural thing to do and offered some major advantages. Our daughter loved the constant contact and it made it so much easier to breastfeed during the night. By simply rolling over and letting her feed before either of us were fully awake, we were both able to drift back to sleep much quicker than if I had had to get up to feed, so everyone got extra sleep.
Many studies have shown that co-sleeping helps to establish breastfeeding and leads to a more settled and happy baby. Others claim that these benefits can last for years and that children who slept with their parents do better at school, have higher self-esteem, fewer health issues and is more likely to be well adjusted than their peers.
We know this goes against many bestselling books on parenting, such as Gina Ford and Richard Ferber but we are convinced that this was the right decision for us and for our daughter. Personally, I believe that night time should be about nurturing and closeness, not about training for the realities of later life.
Yes, there can be some downsides to co-sleeping, but most can be overcome with a few adjustments, such as buying a bigger bed. There have been many reported studies into the dangers of co-sleeping, the most recent published early this year in the Lancet. La Leche League, amongst others, claim that they are flawed as they do not distinguish between safe (following current guidelines re temperature, soft bedding etc) and unsafe (eg on a sofa or with parents who smoke or drink alcohol) co-sleeping.
Our daughter is very independent already (at 13 months) and I am convinced that this is due to all the extra nurturing and contact that she receives during the nights. At some stage, she will decide that she wants her own bed and she will be welcome to it. But in the meantime all three of us love the extra time we get together and there is nothing more wonderful than being woken by a kiss from your baby and seeing just how happy they are to be so close to you. I know that in this way we have created many special moments that we all treasure.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What ever you personally decide, do make sure you follow the latest advice re safe sleeping for your baby. Much of it is commonsense, but the following guidelines should help:
? Always put your baby to sleep on their back.
? Use a firm mattress and never co-sleep on a waterbed or on a sofa.
? Do not use a pillow for your baby and always make sure that your baby's head is clear of your pillows and bedding. This will reduce the risk of smothering and overheating.
? Do not sleep with your baby if you smoke, have drunk alcohol or have taken any drugs which make you drowsy.
? Do not give your baby a pillow, and ensure that his head is not covered by the duvet or the sheets. Either of these could smother him.
? Use bedding that tightly fits the mattress and make sure there are no gaps between the bed and the headboard where they could become trapped.
If you are unsure or need further advice, always speak to your GP or Health Visitor.
Arabella Greatorex is the owner of http://www.naturalnursery.co.uk, an online store selling organic and fairly traded products of families.
experienced cleaning professionals Northbrook ..Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More
Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is... Read More
Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
Night Visits From Your ChildIn the middle of the night... Read More
Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More
We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at... Read More
From the book Spider's Night on the BoomI've only begun... Read More
Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More
We know that you want your little guy or gal... Read More
"It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
best value cleaning service Northbrook ..Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all... Read More
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine,... Read More
Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More
Most of us when asked what we want our children... Read More
Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More
| Parenting |