Home
>
Parenting
>
Confident Children - Avoid Overparenting

Confident Children - Avoid Overparenting

For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing children.

Recently there has emerged another type of parenting that, whilst never as harmful as underparenting, can be detrimental to children's healthy development? that is, the trend by many of the current generation of parents to overparent their children.

Overparenting occurs when parents solve children's problems rather than give them the chance to overcome problems themselves. It occurs when parents allow children to avoid legitimately challenging situations so they won't be inconvenienced. It also occurs when too much control or too much order is imposed on children.

Overparenting is predominantly a mindset. It is a belief that children can't overcome difficulties themselves and they can't cope with discomfort or disappointment. It comes with increased affluence but it can occur in any socio-economic group. From my observation, it is more likely to occur in smaller rather than larger families or in families where a death has occurred or tragedy has been a visitor.

An overparented child is a protected, spoiled child. He or she often lacks real confidence and won't take many risks. An overprotected child avoids new situations and looks to hide behind his parents when difficulties or challenges arise.

An overparented child can be any age but often becomes more apparent in middle primary school when the challenges children meet start to multiply. The overparenting may have occurred in the early years but the results only become apparent during this stage.

Some children by their nature place more demands on their parents, which results in overparenting. They receive more attention, more material possessions and more spoiling than they need because they can so bloody-minded and so insistent that parents give in just for some peace and quiet.

Sometimes circumstances such as family breakdown or a change of circumstances can lead to overparenting or overprotection as a form of compensation for the inconvenience that has been caused. While a child's behaviour may lead to feelings of guilt overparenting in this manner doesn't do the child any favours in the long term.

How can a parent break from a pattern of overparenting? This is hard to do because overparenting can seem so normal. However if a child is so reliant on a parents that they think they can't cope without them then it is time to take some action.

Parental illness is one way to change overparenting, although it is not a recommended course of action. When a parent is incapacitated or sick for a lengthy period of time children generally have no choice but to fend for themselves in a whole range of ways. From my observation of families I am constantly amazed how children rise to a challenge when they have to.

Another way to kick the overparenting habit is to do so by stealth. Little by little parents need to pull back on the over-assistance that they provide children. They can start by insisting children walk to school (provided this is reasonable from the perspective of safety and their wellbeing), get themselves up each morning or other simple forms of self-help as required. When a new behaviour becomes the norm rather than the exception then it is best to look for another area to withdraw their assistance from.

Another way to defeat the overparenting habit it to give children ideas, tips and techniques to cope with their challenges rather than allow them to avoid or pull out of challenges. For instance, a child who wants to pull out of an after school class after three weeks because they haven't any friends may need some ideas about either how to make friends or make do without friends until the end of term.

It helps to develop a "Hang tough" attitude rather than a "Let's try something else when things get tough" attitude. Overparenting prevents children from developing a "Hang Tough" attitude.

From my experience those children who do best at school and beyond the school years are those who have parents whose first response is to teach and support rather than protect or compensate when social, physical or intellectual challenges occur. It also helps to have parents who show absolute, unwavering confidence in a child's ability to cope and fend for him or herself, yet be wise enough to know when children need their help and compassionate enough to lend a hand once in while.

It is hard to get the balance right between developing real independence and not placing too much responsibility on children. It is essential for all sorts of reasons that childhood be protected, even prolonged. But that doesn't mean that children be closeted, spoiled or get every material good they want. Effective parenting is a balancing act between the head and the heart, between providing opportunities for resourcefulness and showing compassion, and between being a supportive parent and a protective parent.

Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

move in cleaning service Mundelein ..

In The News:

Cybersecurity experts warn about one of the largest credential compilations ever found, urging users to check "Have I Been Pwned" and change passwords immediately.

Quick iPhone and Android battery optimization techniques help your device stay powered all day by turning off hidden features that secretly drain power in the background.

Kodiak Driver autonomous truck achieves perfect 98 safety score, matching top human fleets in groundbreaking AI evaluation by Nauto's VERA system.

New 401k catch-up contribution rules in 2026 will change taxes for high earners over 50. Learn how scammers exploit these changes and protect your retirement savings.

Kurt Knutsson's guide covers social media privacy protection through location settings, account privacy controls and two-factor authentication to prevent scams and data breaches.

Revolutionary retinal implant restores central vision in 80% of patients with advanced macular degeneration, offering hope where treatments once only slowed blindness.

Learn how to use passkeys on Windows and Mac computers without cameras or fingerprint readers. Discover secure authentication methods that replace passwords.

Tesla's FSD v14.1.2 update reintroduces Mad Max mode, enabling higher speeds and more frequent lane changes than the standard Hurry profile setting.

A phishing email scam targeting American Express customers shows how cybercriminals use fake urgent messages to steal personal and financial information.

Facebook's new Meta AI feature analyzes your camera roll photos to create polished collages automatically, but requires cloud processing and raises privacy concerns.

A New Jersey teenager filed a major lawsuit against AI/Robotics Venture Strategy 3 Ltd. over ClothOff, an AI tool that created fake nude images from her social media photos.

Microsoft reports Storm-2657 cybercriminals sent phishing emails to 6,000 addresses at 25 universities to steal payroll credentials and redirect funds.

Astronomers have discovered asteroid 2025 SC79, a skyscraper-sized space rock orbiting the sun in just 128 days. the second-fastest known.

The Fox News AI Newsletter delivers the latest developments form the world of artificial intelligence, including the technology's challenges and opportunities.

A cyberattack on SimonMed Imaging exposed personal information of 1.2 million patients, including medical records, financial details and identity papers.

Spotify's managed accounts for kids under 13 now available in at least seven countries, allowing parents to filter and block explicit content and songs.

Friendly text conversations about BBQs and social events can lead to WEEX gold trading scams that target older adults with fake investment opportunities.

California company Skyeports creates self-healing glass spheres from Moon regolith that generate solar power and support plant growth for sustainable lunar living.

Cleafy researchers discover fake VPN streaming app Mobdro Pro that installs Klopatra banking Trojan, giving attackers full control over Android devices.

Police departments across the U.S. and Canada are adopting virtual reality training to better prepare officers for high-pressure, real-world situations.

House Bill 469 would prevent AI systems from owning property, serving as executives, or gaining legal personhood in Ohio under Representative Thaddeus Claggett's proposal.

Public voter records expose retirees' personal details to election scammers who create targeted cons using names, addresses, and voting history data.

Instead of fearing what comes next with artificial intelligence, think outside the box. Here are high-earning AI jobs that don't require a computer science degree.

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says polite words like "please" and "thank you" cost millions annually, while direct prompts may improve ChatGPT accuracy by several points.

Chattee Chat and GiMe Chat exposed intimate conversations and photos, revealing users spent up to $18,000 on AI companions before the breach.

Confident Children - Avoid Overparenting

Parenting