As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when we mature; we mature when we become responsible.
Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated or moved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach this principal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they will gain or lose by the choices they make.
Personal Responsiblity is an ever widening circle of people, places and events affected by our decisions. In the center of that circle, an area which many people never get beyond is:
ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person. Examples are: Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. My choices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt only me.
The next circle of influence is:
YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like and approve of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility to those who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I am wrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard other people's resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affect my daily life.
And as we mature and become more sensitive, we are concerned about:
US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us. Some people and organizations I know, some I don't know yet, but they are a part of my extended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesy and service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers, school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individual actions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form of recommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.
The widest rim of the circle is to those we may or may not know:
The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make the world a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth, eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. The Universe may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doing right and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have a responsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentions towards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.
As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible as early as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think and choose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, they will grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life and contribute to the well being of the group.
Assuming personal responsibility is the ultimate goal of growing up. So the answer to the question,Who, me? is Yes, you.
(c) Judy H. Wright, www.ArtichokePress.com
This handout? 2003 has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at http://www.artichokepress.com. To contact us, please write http://www.artichokepress.com. or call 406-549-9813.
bathroom cleaning service Wilmette ..Those of you that have children know what an excursion... Read More
In today's busy world, many parents have lost the art... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
I was in the life insurance sales industry for over... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More
The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
I look out of the window as I am writing... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
Life is funny.My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
whole house cleaning Northbrook ..Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More
For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More
Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
As our children grow, they will be going to schools... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
Parenting |