Would you like to be confident in the things you do? Most people would. The problem is that many people aren't sure how. They think it is some mystical trait that some people seem to have and others don't. Actually, being confident in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals is a skill that can be learned.
Let's say you've decided to move forward in your efforts to achieve your goals and have taken action. Congratulations for reaching this point! Along the way you will certainly experience many victories. Yet there will also be challenges. To keep yourself going, you are going to need lots of support from one very important person: Yourself! This support comes in the form of setting achievable goals, supportive self-talk, self-monitoring to acknowledge success, and plenty of rewards along the way.
Today's theme is the crucial importance of acknowledging success. To balance the scale of triumphs and challenges, the skill needed is learning to recognize and feel good about all the little steps you take each day, and the efforts you put forth toward achieving your goal. Building on every little victory acts like fuel to your confidence. Achieving any new goal isn't easy. It takes decision, hard work, effort and dedication. But that is what this life is about . . . setting new goals for ourselves and accomplishing those goals. Learning to feel good along the path to something new is what makes life a grand adventure.
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." ~ Albert Schweitzer ~
WHY ACKNOWLEDGE SUCCESS?
For many, the journey towards reaching the overall goal is often a long road. It's frequently so full of experiences and opportunities (okay - challenges) that we often don't notice the gradual change that is occurring. We don't recognize the progress we have made. This error of self-acknowledgment can be devastating and stop us dead in our tracks.
One sure fire way of putting out your own fire is to dismiss your success. Let's imagine you've been binging on food for quite a few days. Through much effort and determination you manage to stay binge-free for three days. Following these three days, you binge again. What are you most likely to do with this situation:
* Do you count those three days as success?
* Do you dismiss those three days as proof that since they didn't last, you are not good enough to have what you want - now falling into helplessness or hopelessness?
* Do you use those three days (and subsequent relapse) as an occasion to self-condemn and shame yourself?
* Do those three days count for anything wonderful in your book?
WHEN TO ACKNOWLEDGE SUCCESS
One day, I decided I wanted to increase the amount of water I was drinking each day. I thought this goal through and decided that the best way to achieve success would be to drink one bottle of water each morning as I was getting ready for my day. After a few weeks had gone by, I pondered my goal. I realized that almost every morning I had drank one full bottle of water. Had achieved success with my goal? How long must a goal be achieved before I could call myself successful?
Contemplating, I became aware of my own particularly nasty habit. I set goals for myself. With enough time, my goals became habits. But I had no mental criteria established for when I could call myself successful. There was no endpoint of, "How do I know I've achieved my goal." And since there was no endpoint, there was no feeling good at the end of my goal. I was running my own life story of not being good enough for myself, and having to earn my own love but never succeeding. I sat there amazed at my own self-realization. I asked, "How long must I maintain a behavior before I can call myself successful?" The answer came immediately: "The very first time the behavior is achieved, you are successful." Wow! This about blew me away. I successfully achieved my goal the first day I followed through with my intention. No wonder I never felt enough. I was completely failing to recognize, acknowledge, or celebrate my strengths, efforts, and my achievements.
Many of the people I work with also have no internal criteria established for knowing when they are successful. Oh, sure, they may say when they lose 40 pounds, then they will be successful. Or when they stop binging, then they will be happy. But what happens when they lose those forty pounds or stop binging for several days? Success is never measured, never celebrated, never acknowledged. Eventually a few pounds creep back on or a relapse in binge behavior occurs. Wouldn't you know it? This gets acknowledged! Lots of negative self talk, huge emotion, beastly feelings of self-reproach. Now there is evidence that success can not be achieved. Without being conscious of it, the criteria was that if the weight was maintained forever, or a binge never occurred again, then success would be achieved. The problem with this strategy? Success can't be measured until forever occurs. Meaning success never occurs.
"Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. Courage is what counts." ~ Sir Winston Churchill ~
SUCCESS EXERCISE
Close your eyes and relax. Think of a success you had today. Maybe it was feeling good, or deciding to drive past the fast food restaurant, or choosing to sit still while envisioning your goal, or laughing instead of feeling heavy. Maybe you overcame an urge, and even though later you didn't overcome the urge, that first "overcoming" was a success. You cannot change the fact of it or deny that it was a success.
Remember your goals. Recall your successes of the day. Remember your efforts. Get in touch with your very being. Feel your physical body. Breathe in ... breathe out. Acknowledge your successes over and over again in your mind. Say to yourself, "I was truly successful. There is no denying that." Imagine the lightness of your joy is spreading all around, filling your body. It is filling your chest, spreading to your abdominal cavity reaching towards your thighs, legs, and feet. Think of a similar spread to your shoulders, arms, hand, head, neck and face. Now your whole body is filled with radiant blissful lightness. You are calm and centered and feeling really good. Nourish your goal by looking for more successes. Bring your goal life and light through praise and intention and enthusiasm. Strengthen your goal by feeding it love. Breathe in . . . breathe out.
DO YOU:
1. Expect the best from yourself?
2. Understand your needs and use this information to create an environment that builds your motivation?
3. Establish standards of excellence that are attainable for yourself?
4. Create an environment where failure isn't fatal?
5. Encourage yourself or nag yourself?
6. Recognize and applaud your efforts?
7. Use a mixture of positive and negative reinforcement (acknowledge without judgement, but with honesty, your failures)?
Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Nutrition Therapist & Master Energy Healer
For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit: http://www.lovingmiracles.com
972.985.8750
"Opening Creative Portals to Success"
Does the thought of failure send a cold shiver down... Read More
INNER CRITIC UNVEILED! Part 2: AFFIRMATIONS TO THE RESCUE!"Almost everybody... Read More
Clear Conflict with Forgiveness:Forgiveness is the means to solve all... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
Have you ever felt the whole world was against you?... Read More
From Making the Big Move: how to transform relocation into... Read More
I was playing tennis today with one of my tennis... Read More
With the beginning of a new year, are you happy... Read More
I believe that one of the best ways to stay... Read More
Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for... Read More
"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you, hungry before... Read More
With the probable exception of some basic instincts ? or... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
Spring is here at last! The season brings with it... Read More
One of the first things that I work on with... Read More
P.M.A - so what is it? Some people will automatically... Read More
IntroductionWe can find all type of people in this world... Read More
You've heard the buzzwords: Attitude is everything! Change your perspective!... Read More
The most dangerous thing is illusion. ~ Ralph Waldo EmersonFailure... Read More
There is a wonderful story about the famous escape artist,... Read More
Your response (reaction?) to change is conditioned by your entire... Read More
Ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel so... Read More
I will never forget an evening in 2003, when I... Read More
When you're feeling "low," or out of the flow, it's... Read More
Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager...My... Read More
shuttle from O'Hare North Chicago ..Part 1Recently, in a women's therapy group that I run,... Read More
Clear Conflict with Forgiveness:Forgiveness is the means to solve all... Read More
"You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine You Make Me... Read More
Lately, I've been hearing that it's not okay to have... Read More
"Most overnight successes are just plain lucky. Just ask any... Read More
Unhappy? Stressed out? Do you feel you not only want... Read More
This may sound quite aberrant to most of the younger... Read More
Conflict is unavoidable. How we respond to it makes a... Read More
The power of positive thoughts to affect one's experience of... Read More
Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for... Read More
From Making the Big Move: how to transform relocation into... Read More
As I walked my dogs recently on what "should" have... Read More
Failure is my favorite subject. For I have spent my... Read More
Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does... Read More
Positive Affirmations are things we say to ourselves that build... Read More
WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe... Read More
Gail's StoryGail is a friend of mine and she was... Read More
That strange, gut-wrenching feeling you have is not the sushi... Read More
It sounds a little masochistic, but I actually appreciate being... Read More
I AM SO GRATEFUL for meeting challenges head-on. We see... Read More
Since the beginning of human history we have been living... Read More
There is no such thing as failure ? only feedback... Read More
" If you have faith as a grain of musterd... Read More
"There is an infinitely worthier subject for philosophers (to study)... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |