Drug testing

Non-Compliance in Your Children, Some Tips for Parents

Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child not obeying you when you have asked him or her to do something. It is helpful because it is descriptive, and because it may also motivate us as parents to move our kids from being non-compliant to being compliant.

Here's how we are going to define the term "non-compliance" in children:

1. The child fails to begin doing what he was asked within a reasonable amount of time (15 seconds);
2. The child fails to keep doing what he was asked until the job is finished;
3. The child fails to follow previously taught rules of conduct in a specific situation, such as at church, at school, at the store, or with friends;

When your child is non-compliant you need to take action. You simply cannot ignore the behavior hoping that it will go away. Deal with the situation yourself, or consider getting some professional help in tough situations. Non-compliance should be treated because:

1. It is the most frequent complaint of parents seeking help in clinics;
2. It underlies most negative interactions between family members and the child;
3. Because disruptive-aggressive behaviors usually do not occur randomly. Instead they occur in "bursts" and are usually associated with having asked the child to do something.

Over the years I have developed some presuppositions with respect to children and their behavior. I'd like to pass this on to you, as parents, with the hope that it will help you in dealing with your non-compliant child. They are:

1. Kids are weird. Children do not think like adults do, they do not process information as adults do. The do not see the world around them as adults do.
2. Kids are fools. This is not original with me. King Solomon, reflecting on his growing family (remember he had 1,000 wives and many children) said this a long time ago. "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child," is the way he put it. Simply said, "Kids will do foolish things, they are not yet wise." It is our job as parents to teach them wisdom.
3. We often EXPECT more out of our kid's behavior than we expect from ourselves. We want others to excuse faults in us, yet we will expect perfection in our children. This needs to change.
4. Children do things on purpose. Sometimes your child will misbehave on purpose. He is testing you. He is observing you. Draw the line now, or you will be sorry later.
5. Child behavior is not random. See number 4.

Here are two phrases for parents to remember in understanding your children:

A child's behavior occurs because of who the child is, what the child knows about you, and what the child wants from you.

The child will do things either to get POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT, or to ESCAPE or AVOID SOMETHING that he does not want to do or have.

So please spend enough time with your child to let him know that you are on his side, and that you want the best for him. There are certain things that our children need to know in order to be successful in life, and one of those things is knowing how to listen and obey parents. Stay the course and be consistent with teaching your child wisdom and compliance. To learn more about helping children, visit http://www.addinSchool.com.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

In The News:

Extremely rare items from the final years of Marilyn Monroe’s life are up for auction in the U.K. on Saturday.
Officials with the Virginia Wildlife Management and Control on Sunday took to Facebook to share “extremely rare photos” of a two-headed copperhead snake.
Images of a fight between two male deers went viral after the stags locked horns and couldn't unlock them.
Japan’s Hayabusa 2 spacecraft has lowered two small rovers onto an asteroid in an epic mission to study the distant space rock.
Scientists have discovered what happens when you give the party drug MDMA to an octopus, and say the animals surprising reaction has “amazing” implications.
A previously unclassified creature that lived over 500 million years ago, considered the "Holy Grail of paleontology," has finally been identified, thanks to fossil fat.
Medieval legends claim that Pope Joan was the first and only female pope.
There are plenty of challenges to putting people on Mars, whether you look at the rocket, the astronaut or the planet itself.
Archaeologists have unlocked the secrets of an amazing 1,500-year-old altar discovered at a Maya temple deep in the Guatemalan jungle.
Faculty at the University and Richmond are being credited for rescuing nearly 70,000 bees after a tornado Monday took down a tree near the school’s campus.

Finding Out Your Child Has a Disability: Its Not the end of the World

Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More

Homes for Troubled Teens: Therapeutic and Residential

For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More

Puberty - Get Ready to Play the Puberty Game

Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More

Exposing the Damage: TV and Kids

There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More

ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, Part Five

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Creating Great Birthday Party Videos

My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More

Son, Can I Use The Car Tonight?

I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More

STOP Parental Alienation Syndrome before It Gets a Chance to START

Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More

Develop Your Childs Critical Thinking Skills

1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More

Grandparents --- Homeschool Your Grandchildren and Feel Younger

Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More

Spend Time Not Money With The Kids This Winter

Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More

A New Dad To Be? Deer in the headlights?

Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More

The Graceful Art of Defrazzling - For Mothers

"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More

Vehicle Safety - Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents and Injuries

Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More

The Mystery of Picky Eaters

If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More

Mommies and Me Special Time

Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More

Medications: Addressing Parental Fears and Concerns

Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More

Parents Complaints --- Arrogant Public Schools Turn a Deaf Ear

School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More

Top Five Ways To Stay In Touch With Your Child

Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More

Types of Schools for Troubled Teens

It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More

Ten Ways To Become Your Teenagers Best Friend

Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 8 Things You Need to Be Doing

Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More

Youth In A Changing World

IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More

Teaching Kids to Read

We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More

led street lights cost street lighting standards Pete's produce ..