Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect their wives or partners to do the lion's share.
There are signs that we're moving toward a more enlightened age in which ALL parents play their part.
But in the meantime, let's concentrate on some help for tired moms.
Apparently the number one question mothers ask their doctors is, "How can I get more energy?"
Fatigue is a serious problem when it robs us of our happiness, our sense of balance, and even our effective parenting skills.
So what's the answer?
Ironically, the best way to overcome the energy crisis is to first of all spend just a little bit more time and energy. But hang in there! It will pay great dividends in a short time.
The first area to tackle is managing the household. Too many mothers do too much work.
And that's not fair!
Divide up the chores so that everyone pulls their weight. Even young kids can be involved.
I know of one family who have a game of 'Lorries' (or 'Trucks') when the rooms need tidied. Mum is the boss. She lines the kids up and 'loads' them with toys, books, magazines, the ironing - whatever needs to be tidied - and the kids are then 'dispatched' to make their deliveries. Yes, a bit of training may be required - especially on how to carry and put away newly ironed clothes! - but with practice and perseverance kids can learn.
A chart can record contributions, with the promise of a reward at the end of the week. A trip to the cinema, the swimming pool or ice-skating, a special treat at dinner - it doesn't matter, so long as you honour the commitments made!
With the household chores now being managed effectively, the next step is to build in some QRT - Quality Recovery Time.
Insist on it. Demand it! Yell from the rooftops if necessary, but make sure you get your entitled share of time-out.
And it must suit YOU. What's good for one person won't necessarily suit another. To my wife, for example, the T in RT stands for Retail Therapy. Shopping malls are just not my scene, so to me it stands for Torture!
Individual time-out, then, means doing whatever is important to you. Many women like to have a 'general pampering' session, ranging from a bath with scented candles and soft music to working out at the gym.
So where does the time for these individual sessions come from?
This is when you call on partners, extended family or friends. Sharing the kids' supervision with trusted friends is a great idea. You take their kids with yours on an outing one time, and they take yours the next. This frees up time for individual relaxation, or gives you and your spouse or partner a chance to relax away from it all.
So - get organised. Run your household with a clearly defined routine.
Have family outings and/or activities where you all relax and enjoy each other as a family unit.
Call on family or friends to share the load, and enjoy some well-deserved time-out with your spouse or partner, AND build in some personal QRT when you do what suits you and ONLY you.
If your lifestyle follows this pattern, your energy levels will take care of themselves.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
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