Home
>
Parenting
>
Is My Child Lazy?

Is My Child Lazy?

Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do some children move as if in slow motion? Is this normal or are they just trying to irritate you? You may be surprised to learn that a great many factors come into play when a child appears to be lazy; stage of growth, hormones, hunger, motivation, lack of clear directions and maybe even sleep deprivation.

I have never taught my workshop of "Kids, Chores & More" when there hasn't been at least two parents of 11 year old boys lamenting that their sons are so lazy. Actually, they aren't lazy. They are growing. It takes so much energy for young boys to develop muscles, long bones etc. that they don't have much left over to run the vacuum or take out the garbage.

FOOD AND REST MAKE A BIG DIFFERNCE.

I also found, with our son at that age, that what I regarded as an attitude problem was solved somewhat by making sure he had plenty of food and adequate rest. He was growing so fast that it took many more calories to just get through the day than it had months before. It was a real eye opener to us to find that he needed 3,000 calories a day and ten hours of sleep.

MAKE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF THE CHILD

While no two children and their families are exactly alike, careful studies and reports of thousands of normal children have made it possible to somewhat monitor the ages and stages of a growing child. While doing research on motivating kids to help at home, it was obvious that parents were frustrated by the lack of willingness to pitch in and do their share of household maintenance.

In my books and workshops I stress the importance of evaluating the physical, mental and emotional levels of each age group. Perhaps the task is too hard, or even too easy. It may be that your child is overwhelmed by the assignment or even unchallenged. Surprisingly, children like a project that they can succeed with but that allows them some creativity. So instead of just assigning the dishes to be unloaded, how about asking for the dish cupboards to be cleaned and rearranged.

ALLOW THEM TO OWN THE PROBLEM

Parents frequently complain that the children are not doing their tasks, but what they really feel is that they are not being done "the right way" which is their way. When the child knows that the parent will complain, redo or criticize the work, it is easier to not start. While it is not necessary, nor honest to praise work that is done sloppy, it is not our job to redo or to criticize the worker. If the job truly belongs to the child, then allow them to do it in their way.

In any new endeavor, it takes about five months of consistent, daily attention before it becomes automatic action. In order to change habits, we may have to try many different tactics. Children easily become bored, and we forget to follow through.

Most children thrive on structure, routine and schedules. When we set limits and realistic expectations it gives a sense of security and boundaries which are actually comforting to the child. Many parents, me included, often think our children dislike limits because they test them so often.

However, children are just testing the boundaries and rules because they seek frequent reassurance that we mean what we say and are prepared to enforce the limits. Hopefully, we have discussed the rationale of said limits in a family council and there is a clear understanding of the rules and consequences and they understand that our role is not a slave driver, but rather a kind and loving parent who will give loving guidelines which will enrich their life and teach them to self govern.

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

Many of the irritating things a child does on daily basis at home happen because the child doesn't know any better, is incapable of handling the task or because he or she is trying to get our attention. If we can combine appropriate working principles with positive and encouraging attention, our homes are bound to be more functional and happy.

So, don't give up! Be determined to work as a family to become more aware of what needs to be done to keep daily life running smoothly. Make a conscious effort to gather the tools, learn new skills, practice innovative methods and face each day with a positive expectancy that you and your family will succeed.

Good luck and God bless. You do the most important work in the world.

Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator

? www.artichokepress.com

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.artichokepress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com

efficient cleaning crew Lake Forest ..

In The News:

Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.

Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.

Fake airline texts claiming flight cancellations are targeting travelers with convincing scams. Learn how cybercriminals steal personal data and credit card info.

Discover how iOS 26's new Adaptive Power feature automatically extends iPhone battery life by learning your usage patterns and adjusting performance intelligently.

New TikTok malware campaign tricks users into running PowerShell commands that download Aura Stealer, which steals credentials and authentication tokens.

Gaia Family offers fixed upfront pricing for IVF cycles with unlimited embryo transfers and financial protection, partnering with over 100 U.S. fertility clinics.

The Jetsons Act aims to position Pennsylvania as a leader in advanced air mobility by establishing regulations for hybrid ground-air vehicles.

Fake Geek Squad invoice emails are targeting users with convincing charges and urgent phone numbers to steal personal information and money.

Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.

Major data breach at Conduent exposes personal information of 10+ million people. Government contractor hit by cyberattack affecting Medicaid, child support systems.

Texas startup Janta Power raises $5.5M for innovative vertical solar towers that generate 50% more energy than traditional panels while using just one-third the land.

NASA's twin ESCAPADE spacecraft launched aboard Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket Thursday afternoon from Cape Canaveral, beginning their journey to Mars with arrival expected in 2027.

Learn how to set email reminders on iPhone and Android so you never forget to reply again. Simple built-in features help you stay organized and on top of messages.

Discover how Apple's passkeys revolutionize Mac security by replacing vulnerable passwords with biometric authentication and encryption for ultimate protection.

New survey reveals 78% of parents fear AI scams targeting their kids, yet nearly half haven't discussed these threats. Learn why this dangerous gap exists.

Chrome now autofills passport and driver's license info automatically. Google's latest browser update adds official document support with encryption and user control.

Scammers impersonate Department of Veterans Affairs employees claiming veterans owe money, but real VA communications only direct to VA.gov or official channels.

The AltoVolo Sigma hybrid-electric aircraft flies 500 miles at 220 mph while operating 80% quieter than helicopters, featuring safety systems and compact design.

Google search scam alert: fake customer service numbers can give scammers remote control of your phone. Learn how to spot these traps and protect yourself.

Electric vehicles overtake gas cars in total CO2 savings after just two years of driving, with emissions benefits growing over time as power grids get cleaner.

Louvre Museum reportedly used "Louvre" as password for surveillance system during $100M jewel heist. Learn how weak passwords put even famous institutions at risk.

Bipartisan AI jobs bill from Sens. Hawley and Warner would require companies to report AI-related layoffs and hiring to Department of Labor quarterly.

Joe A. from Shelton, Connecticut, lost $228,000 to a ZAP Solutions cryptocurrency investment scam after his divorce, highlighting rising online fraud.

AI-powered autonomous trucks from Waabi and Volvo target U.S. freight driver shortage with Level 4 self-driving technology and NVIDIA computing platform integration.

Survive flight disruptions with expert travel tips: Book early morning flights, download airline apps and know your refund rights during service cuts.

Is My Child Lazy?

Parenting