Helping Your Children Develop Their Self-Discipline

We want our children to do the right thing, especially when they are out with their friends. We want to believe in them, but somehow, we don't feel certain that they would.

Have you ever asked yourself why you feel and act that way? Maybe the answer lies in the fact that, although you intend to, you rarely teach them how to develop their self-discipline. Or maybe it is because your parents never taught you how to develop yours.

Well, it's never too late to learn. Here are fourteen principles to set you on the right track:

1. Natural and logical consequences require children to be responsible for their own behavior.

2. Reward and punishment deny children the opportunity to make their own decisions and to be responsible for their own behavior.

3. Distinguish the differences between the punishment approach and the logical consequences approach to developing their self-discipline:

? Punishment expresses the power of authority; logical consequences express the impersonal reality of the social order.

? Punishment is rarely related to misbehavior; logical consequences are logically related to misbehavior.

? Punishment focuses on what is past; logical consequences are concerned with present and future behavior.

? Punishment tells children that they are bad; logical consequences imply no element of moral judgment.

? Punishment is associated with a threat, either open or concealed; logical consequences are based on good will, not on retaliation.

? Punishment demands obedience; logical consequences permit choices.

4. Natural consequences are those that permit children to learn from the natural order of the physical world.

5. Logical consequences are those that permit children to learn from the reality of the social order.

6. For consequences to be effective, children involved must see them as logical.

7. The purpose of using natural and logical consequences is to motivate children to make responsible decisions, not to force their submission.

8. Apply the logical consequences approach in the proper sequence:

? Provide choices and accept the child's decision while using a friendly tone of voice that communicates your good will.

? While following through, assure the child that he may try again later.

? If the misbehavior is repeated, extend the time that must elapse before he may try again.

9. Consequences are effective only if you do not use the hidden motives of winning and controlling.

10. Be both firm and kind when correcting children's misbehavior. Firmness refers to your follow-through behavior; kindness refers to the manner in which you present them with choices.

11. Talk less, listen and act more. Lead them into the proper behavior by setting the example.

12. When you do things for children that they could do for themselves, you are robbing them of the opportunity for self-respect and responsibility.

13. Avoid fighting or quarreling; they indicate a lack of respect for the other person. Avoid giving in; it indicates disrespect for yourself.

14. Be patient! It takes time for natural and logical consequences to become effective.

Follow these principles and watch your relationship with your children and spouse improve, the self-discipline of your children increase, and, perhaps most importantly, your patience and love for them return.

Remember: When you maximize your potential, everyone wins. When you don't, we all lose.

? Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in ezines, newsletters, and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Although advance permission is not required, please notify us at eagibbs@ureach.com when you use this article.

Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW, Management Consultant and Trainer, conducts seminars, lectures, and writes articles on his theme: ... helping you maximize your potential. He offers management, marketing and parenting resources at http://www.maximizingyourpotential.blogspot.com

disinfecting cleaning services Winnetka ..
In The News:

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.
Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.
Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.
Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.
Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.
New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.
A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.
AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.
A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.
New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.
Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.
Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.
Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.
Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.
Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.
Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.
iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.
Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.
FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.
Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.
Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.
Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.
Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.

Talk Your Child Clever

Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say... Read More

Bless Your Child With The Name

What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More

Non-Compliance in Your Children, Some Tips for Parents

Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More

Gifts From The Heart: Moms Remember...

To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More

Will My Doubts and Fears Affect My Child?

"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More

Teach Your Child About Money

What are we teaching our children about money? Hopefully something!I... Read More

So, The Thing Is... Im Feeling A Little Guilty

So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More

7 Ways to Know Your Child

How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More

Children are People, Not Machines

When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More

Are You Too Busy for Your Kids?

In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More

True Romance for Couples with Kids: 10 Inexpensive Ideas

Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey... Read More

Choosing Wooden Toys For Children

Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More

5 Simple Steps Guaranteed To Allow You To Spend More Time With Your Children This Summer

Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last... Read More

What Is Homeschooling And How Do I know If Its Right For My Family?

Do you know what these famous people have in common?Alexander... Read More

Bird Flu Pandemic

What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More

I Cant Sleep Without You

When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household,... Read More

Let Your Children Name the New Baby

Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More

Potty Training Battle of the Wills

Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More

Building Self Confidence

Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More

The Free Ride In Public Schools

To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More

Swing Sets and Outdoor Play Equipment- 5 Essential Tips Before You Buy

For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor... Read More

The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble

To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More

Psychological Effects of Child Abuse

Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More

How Effective Are Ritalin and Dexedrine in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More

Teach Your Children About the Importance of Water

The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More

last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..