Home
>
Parenting
>
Helping Your Children Develop Their Self-Discipline

Helping Your Children Develop Their Self-Discipline

We want our children to do the right thing, especially when they are out with their friends. We want to believe in them, but somehow, we don't feel certain that they would.

Have you ever asked yourself why you feel and act that way? Maybe the answer lies in the fact that, although you intend to, you rarely teach them how to develop their self-discipline. Or maybe it is because your parents never taught you how to develop yours.

Well, it's never too late to learn. Here are fourteen principles to set you on the right track:

1. Natural and logical consequences require children to be responsible for their own behavior.

2. Reward and punishment deny children the opportunity to make their own decisions and to be responsible for their own behavior.

3. Distinguish the differences between the punishment approach and the logical consequences approach to developing their self-discipline:

? Punishment expresses the power of authority; logical consequences express the impersonal reality of the social order.

? Punishment is rarely related to misbehavior; logical consequences are logically related to misbehavior.

? Punishment focuses on what is past; logical consequences are concerned with present and future behavior.

? Punishment tells children that they are bad; logical consequences imply no element of moral judgment.

? Punishment is associated with a threat, either open or concealed; logical consequences are based on good will, not on retaliation.

? Punishment demands obedience; logical consequences permit choices.

4. Natural consequences are those that permit children to learn from the natural order of the physical world.

5. Logical consequences are those that permit children to learn from the reality of the social order.

6. For consequences to be effective, children involved must see them as logical.

7. The purpose of using natural and logical consequences is to motivate children to make responsible decisions, not to force their submission.

8. Apply the logical consequences approach in the proper sequence:

? Provide choices and accept the child's decision while using a friendly tone of voice that communicates your good will.

? While following through, assure the child that he may try again later.

? If the misbehavior is repeated, extend the time that must elapse before he may try again.

9. Consequences are effective only if you do not use the hidden motives of winning and controlling.

10. Be both firm and kind when correcting children's misbehavior. Firmness refers to your follow-through behavior; kindness refers to the manner in which you present them with choices.

11. Talk less, listen and act more. Lead them into the proper behavior by setting the example.

12. When you do things for children that they could do for themselves, you are robbing them of the opportunity for self-respect and responsibility.

13. Avoid fighting or quarreling; they indicate a lack of respect for the other person. Avoid giving in; it indicates disrespect for yourself.

14. Be patient! It takes time for natural and logical consequences to become effective.

Follow these principles and watch your relationship with your children and spouse improve, the self-discipline of your children increase, and, perhaps most importantly, your patience and love for them return.

Remember: When you maximize your potential, everyone wins. When you don't, we all lose.

? Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in ezines, newsletters, and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Although advance permission is not required, please notify us at eagibbs@ureach.com when you use this article.

Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW, Management Consultant and Trainer, conducts seminars, lectures, and writes articles on his theme: ... helping you maximize your potential. He offers management, marketing and parenting resources at http://www.maximizingyourpotential.blogspot.com

personalized cleaning services Des Plaines ..

In The News:

Petco disclosed a data breach exposing customer Social Security numbers, financial account details, and driver's license information due to a software error.

Baseball teams can now analyze complete swing mechanics in normal training environments using Theia's markerless AI system that processes standard high-speed footage.

Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.

MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.

The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.

Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.

Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.

Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.

Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.

Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.

Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.

Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Helping Your Children Develop Their Self-Discipline

Parenting