Home
>
Parenting
>
Facing the Homeschool Super Mom

Facing the Homeschool Super Mom

I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus she tutors several other children that are dropped off at her house. AND she's a Pastor's wife. AND she's working on fixing up the fixer-upper they just moved into. Whenever I've been in her house, it's been immaculate. Her children all have perfect manners. They all seem to be way ahead of their grade level. She's definitely gotta be a Homeschool Super Mom.

You're probably thinking of someone like this too, right? Someone that made you think, "Man, my son isn't reading as well as hers." or "My house isn't as clean as hers." Or a million other things.

And you probably discovered her when you were new to homeschooling. When you were already feeling uncertain in your new endeavors. You were already putting high expectations on yourself. You were constantly analyzing to be sure you were doing everything right. And as a result, you tend to be a little over-sensitive about what other's are accomplishing around you without giving enough credit to yourself.

So, it's really important that you remember (as a new homeschooler or a seasoned one) these basic principles that we all so easily forget:

"The 4 Basic Principles That Conquer the 'Super-Moms' Syndrome"

Principle #1: We always see other's through glasses that make them larger than life. When I was a teenager, there was this lady in our church. Her hair and makeup was always perfect. She lived in a big, expensive home. She was very stylish and her kids were so cool. I always wanted to grow up and have that.

But I don't anymore.

I'd rather have my house that gets messy 5 minutes after it gets picked up, my hair that falls down into my eyes as I pick up my children, and my face that only gets makeup on Sunday. Why you may ask? Well, here's why. I'm happy. I love my family, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

The lady I had idolized as a teen? She still has her perfect home and impeccable style. But, she has a marriage without love and children who are stuck up adults who ignore her totally.

I had seen her through glasses that made her larger than life. In the end, she's not any bigger or greater than me. In fact, she probably wishes that she had my life!

So, if you start to think about someone else who seems to have the life you want, STOP LOOKING! Instead, sit down and make a list of 100 good things in your life--from the air you breathe, to the heat in your home, to the kisses from your child. I guarantee that you'll feel better about yourself that you ever have before.

Principle #2: Everyone has their own unique gift. Everyone has their own unique ability and we tend to notice in other's the abilities that might be our "weak" ones.

For instance, if you think you're house is always messy, you'll seem to know all these people who have perfectly neat homes.

For an example from my life, I have a son who struggles with speech and it seems like every other parent within a 100 mile radius have children with perfect diction. But you know that's not the way it is. My son might not pronounce every phonic sound correctly--yet!--but he has so many other gifts that hardly make that one seem important.

For instance, no one notices his speech. They always comment, though, how loving he is. Just running up to people and giving them hugs. And he has fun no matter what he does. Can you believe one day I actually heard myself saying, "Ryan. Stop that. Not everything is supposed to be fun." I had to step back and slap myself. Then I said, "Never mind. Mommy was wrong. Have as much fun as you can." And I learned a lesson from that.

So, forget about what the homeschooled Jones' are doing. Discover your child's unique ability and relish in it and develop it and learn from it.

Right now, at the end of your list of 100 things that you're grateful for, list 10 wonderful qualities or abilities for yourself and each of your children. Work on acknowledging, praising, and being thankful for all of your gifts. And don't forget to thank God that you got the greatest kids ever born on this earth.

Principle #3: It doesn't matter what others think. I know, it seems easier said than done. But I guarantee that if you've actually taken the time to write down your list of 100 things that you're grateful for and 10 wonderful qualities of your child, that you won't care what other people think because you will know and appreciate what you have.

And, see, it really doesn't matter what other people think.

What matters is what's important to you. Your core values. Your beliefs. Your ethics. How do you want your children to be as adults? Hey, write it down right now. 5 things you want your child to be as an adult.

Okay, I'll do it right now too for Ryan who is 6 years old--but do yours before you read mine: A loving husband and father An honest, ethical entrepreneur Faithful in service to God Kind, thoughtful, and helpful to those less fortunate Thankful and content for what he can do and what he has Now, I'll bet that you had similar types of things. Not, "makes $1,000,000 by age 30" or "wins he Miss America contest".

Focus on developing and rearing your child to have those 5 qualities, and I'll guarantee that the fact that Mrs. Smith's daughter who is 2 years younger than yours is reading book three times as difficult. Geez, that's a real life skill. You see what I'm getting at?

Principle #4: When you say "yes" to one thing, you are always saying "no" to something else. Have you ever heard that before? I heard that from an owner of a successful multi-million dollar business. That was the simple rule that he used to prioritize his life. When he sat at his desk with phone messages to return, he would literally think, "If I say 'yes' to calling this person, what will I be saying 'no' to?" When someone would asked to do something, he was able to say "no", knowing that if he said "yes" to that project, that he would be saying "no" to extra time with his family.

This principle applies to everyone whether they are conscious of it or not.

Mrs. Smith who is working so hard to have her child advanced in reading is saying "no" to some other educational area. Or, Suzie Homeschool Super Mom up the street who has her immaculate home is saying "no" to time with her kids or family or something else.

The same applies to me. I've said "yes" to this homeschool site, so I've had to say "no" to things like having a perfectly neat house, laundry always done and put away, and a 5 course home-cooked meal on the table by 5:00 every night.

Only say "yes" to the things that are important to you. (See, you don't know it, but I've been gone for 20 minutes. My daughter came downstairs crying, and I stopped to take care of her. And I've also acquired a set of ear muffs made from pipecleaners and pom-poms.) So, as I was saying, say "yes" ONLY to the things that are most important to you. And know ahead of time what you'll be saying "no" to before you say "yes"!

Principle #5: Take advantage of every possible tool. That's right. I don't lift a finger (well, hardly a finger) to clean my home as I have cleaner's come twice a week to take care of that responsibility for me. And to solve my meal preparation dilemma? I purchase items that can be thrown in the oven and get side dishes that are quick and easy.

You can do similar things. I have a homeschooling friend who takes one day a month and cooks all day to makes meals for 30 days that she freezes and uses one at a time. And I thought she cooked from scratch every night!

Having difficulties organizing? Don't fight it. Buy something that organizes your stuff or forget it. It really isn't that important to waste time stressing over!

Use all the tools you can, and leave everything else to collect dust.

So whatever happened to that super mom?

Hopefully by now you've done the exercises or at least skimmed enough here and there to know that there is no super mom except the unrealistic giant you've created in your mind. Instead, you should have a full, realistic view of the gifts and treasures that you possess and a new appreciation for all you get done and how you can enjoy doing what you do a little more! If you've done that, than I wasn't wrong in saying "yes" to this project!

Release your worries and enjoy life!

About The Author

Laura Bankston is author of Internationally selling Cooking with Kids Curriculum: Homeschool Cooking in a Box and the Homeschool Cookbook. She currently home schools her three children, maintains home school support websites, and manages their family-owned service business. For information on her curriculum and free home school support services, please visit http://www.homeschoolcookbook.com

http://www.homeschoolcookbook.com

professional maid services Deerfield ..

In The News:

Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.

FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.

Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.

Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.

Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.

Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.

Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

FDA approves first human trial for Paradromics' brain-computer interface that could restore speech for paralyzed patients through neural technology.

New phishing platform QRR targets Microsoft 365 users across 1,000 domains in 90 countries. Learn how to spot fake login pages and protect your accounts.

OpenTable now uses AI to track your dining habits and share insights with restaurants. Learn what data they collect and how to protect your privacy.

Google's discontinued Nest thermostats still secretly upload home data to company servers despite losing smart features, raising serious privacy concerns.

New Android malware NGate steals NFC payment codes in real-time, allowing criminals to withdraw cash from ATMs without your card. Learn protection tips.

DoorDash confirms data breach exposing customer names, emails, addresses after social engineering attack. Learn how to protect yourself from scams.

Concerned about Google's AI scanning your Gmail? Learn how to disable Gemini features that access your emails, Drive files and Chat messages for privacy.

Google warns Android users about dangerous fake VPN apps hiding malware that steals passwords, banking details and personal data from phones and tablets.

Apple's digital passport feature lets iPhone users breeze through TSA checkpoints this holiday season using Digital ID technology at 250+ airports.

A new phishing scam targets family photos with fake "Cloud Storage Full" alerts. Criminals steal credit card information through fake sites. Learn protection tips.

South Korean scientists create ultra-thin fabric muscles that turn clothes into robotic assistants, lifting 33 pounds while weighing under half an ounce.

Archer Aviation has acquired Hawthorne Airport for $126M to launch an LA air taxi network ahead of the 2028 Olympics, featuring AI-powered eVTOL operations and next-gen aviation tech.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Fake AI apps disguised as "ChatGPT" and "DALL·E" are flooding app stores with dangerous malware that steals data and monitors users without detection.

Fake buyers demand specific vehicle reports from unknown sites to steal credit card information from car sellers, but warning signs can help identify these scams before paying.

Facing the Homeschool Super Mom

Parenting