Drug testing

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her bottom and she doesn't like to sit on his lap anymore! Should you believe your child? Yes.

Your initial reaction is to confront Uncle Charley, who tells you that your child is making it up and even if it did happen, he will never do it again.

He promises he will never ever touch another child inappropriately and you want to believe him. Should you believe him? Probably not.

Perhaps abuse will occur just once with a certain child, but most pedophiles will just cast their eye for a more amiable victim. It is usually not the first time the molester has done this. Nor will it be the last time, even if the child convinces the molester to leave him or her alone. Offenders who have been caught tell researchers that nobody does it just once.

This is a compulsive act which stems from compulsive thought patterns. Pedophiles have repetitive sexual fantasies involving children usually in one age group or gender. Some may be able to contain those fantasies and thought patterns and not act upon them. and they do not become offenders. The perpetrator feels compelled to abuse on a regular basis, especially when things are not going well in their life, or they are under stress. Most offenders abuse more than one hundred times before they are caught. Many will re-offend after serving their time in custody.

Sex abusers will continue the same sick patterns until they are physically stopped or the fear of intervention on the part of the molester becomes very evident. They may be abusing or grooming more than one child at the same time. For instance, if a teacher is caught and arrested for molesting a student in his/her classroom, the chances are high that they have tried to molest others in the class and other classes they have taught.

It is the same for those who commit incest: very rarely is it just one victim. The molestations sometimes continue for months or years starting first with a good touch such as backrubs or tickling. But then it escalates into a touch that is inappropriate. The relationship is usually broken off only when it is discovered accidentally or when a child tells an adult who believes them.

Unfortunately, parents or other adults often think the child is lying, particularly if the abuser is someone familiar to the family or a member of the family. It is a rare exception for a child to make up stories about having been sexually abused. Due to lack of understanding, many parents may blame and shame the victim, especially if the abuse has gone on for some time.

It is not the child's fault! As a caring adult and the protector or your child and others who might have been affected and most certainly will, if the offender is not stopped, you must tell the proper authorities. It is important to your child that they see that you will believe them and act on their word. It is also important to the community that the sexual abuse, no matter how seemingly innocent the offender may try to make it out, is documented. Pick up the phone now and call the police; they will give you and your child guidance and support.

? Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, www.artichokePress.com

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com

In The News:

A 1491 map that likely influenced Christopher Columbus's conception of world geography is getting a new lease on life, now that researchers have revealed its faded, hidden details with cutting-edge technology.
Museums in Western Europe are starting to reevaluate how to deal with certain colonial-era artifacts added to their expansive collections over the years -- despite being stolen or plundered.
This summer’s very hot temperatures is prompting an exponential increase in bed bug infestations in the United Kingdom, according to experts.
A basking shark’s enormous silhouette, rarely seen in oceans worldwide, is a major draw for scientists who are mapping its often mysterious migrations.
Days after a 61-year-old man suffered a shark bite in Massachusetts, the beach on Cape Cod where the attack occurred was “closed” off to swimmers for the foreseeable future “due to continued shark activity,” the town announced Friday.
A shocking video shows a great white shark proudly carrying around its latest victim — a dolphin — when suddenly an even bigger great white swoops in to steal the meal straight from its mouth.
A North Carolina couple taking a walk on Wrightsville Beach in North Carolina on Tuesday came across a rare, prehistoric find: a megalodon tooth.
A host of historic artifacts, including a lock of Napoleon’s hair, will be up for auction in the U.K. on Saturday.
Scientists at MIT have discovered a galaxy cluster that they say is “hiding in plain sight.”
The megalodon, which went extinct millions of years ago, was the largest shark ever documented and one of the largest fish on record. The scientific name, Carcharocles megalodon, means "giant tooth." And for good reason: Its massive teeth give scientists major clues about what the creature was like and when it died off.

Five Tips for Successful Grandparenting

1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More

Simple Tricks To Help You And Your Kids To Find Friends

One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More

From Birth to Teen, Spirituality in Children

Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More

Time Managment Skills for Children

Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More

Top Three Reasons To Get Involved At Your Childs School

You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More

Lifebooks: Every Adopted Child Needs One

Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More

My Best Buddy

My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More

Gifted Children - Getting the Balance Right

One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More

The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour

Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More

Choosing Names For Twins

There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More

How Is Peaceful Parenting? Different?

Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More

How Children Can Read Faster and Better

For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More

10 Steps To Prepare You For Life With Children

It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More

Picky Eaters - Successful Strategies Part 1

What is in a name?The answer is everything!Jo J. of... Read More

Playing Safe

Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More

Nights by a Pinocchio Lamp

Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More

Single Parents: Give Yourselves Credit

Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More

Exposing the Damage: TV and Kids

There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More

A Dangerous Environment

The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More

Frequently Asked Questions About Reading To Your Child

Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More

Youth In A Changing World

IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More

After the Driving School

If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More

How Kids Learn To Cooperate In Video Games -- A Guide for Parents and Teachers

A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More

Where to Look for Affordable Baby Clothes

Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More

induction grow lights dimmable led light bulb Pete's produce ..