Drug testing

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her bottom and she doesn't like to sit on his lap anymore! Should you believe your child? Yes.

Your initial reaction is to confront Uncle Charley, who tells you that your child is making it up and even if it did happen, he will never do it again.

He promises he will never ever touch another child inappropriately and you want to believe him. Should you believe him? Probably not.

Perhaps abuse will occur just once with a certain child, but most pedophiles will just cast their eye for a more amiable victim. It is usually not the first time the molester has done this. Nor will it be the last time, even if the child convinces the molester to leave him or her alone. Offenders who have been caught tell researchers that nobody does it just once.

This is a compulsive act which stems from compulsive thought patterns. Pedophiles have repetitive sexual fantasies involving children usually in one age group or gender. Some may be able to contain those fantasies and thought patterns and not act upon them. and they do not become offenders. The perpetrator feels compelled to abuse on a regular basis, especially when things are not going well in their life, or they are under stress. Most offenders abuse more than one hundred times before they are caught. Many will re-offend after serving their time in custody.

Sex abusers will continue the same sick patterns until they are physically stopped or the fear of intervention on the part of the molester becomes very evident. They may be abusing or grooming more than one child at the same time. For instance, if a teacher is caught and arrested for molesting a student in his/her classroom, the chances are high that they have tried to molest others in the class and other classes they have taught.

It is the same for those who commit incest: very rarely is it just one victim. The molestations sometimes continue for months or years starting first with a good touch such as backrubs or tickling. But then it escalates into a touch that is inappropriate. The relationship is usually broken off only when it is discovered accidentally or when a child tells an adult who believes them.

Unfortunately, parents or other adults often think the child is lying, particularly if the abuser is someone familiar to the family or a member of the family. It is a rare exception for a child to make up stories about having been sexually abused. Due to lack of understanding, many parents may blame and shame the victim, especially if the abuse has gone on for some time.

It is not the child's fault! As a caring adult and the protector or your child and others who might have been affected and most certainly will, if the offender is not stopped, you must tell the proper authorities. It is important to your child that they see that you will believe them and act on their word. It is also important to the community that the sexual abuse, no matter how seemingly innocent the offender may try to make it out, is documented. Pick up the phone now and call the police; they will give you and your child guidance and support.

? Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, www.artichokePress.com

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com

In The News:

Longtime wildlife biologist Jim Ozier unties and then boards a small boat on Lake Jackson, an hour south of Atlanta.
The remains of two Civil War soldiers have been discovered in a surgeon’s burial pit at Manassas National Battlefield Park in Virginia.
The famous ancient site at Stonehenge may have been built using Greek philosopher Pythagoras’ famous theorem two millennia before the mathematical equation was developed, experts say.
If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, rejoice! The summer season officially kicks off on Thursday, thanks to the summer solstice.
The University of California, Riverside, explained Monday in a news release that the moniker “honors President Barack Obama’s passion for science.”
When one of the ocean's top predators washes up dead on a beach, it's likely that something fishy must have happened. On Sunday (June 17), beachgoers found a juvenile male great white shark (Carcharodon carcharias), weighing 500 pounds (225 kilograms), and reaching 8 feet (2.4 meter) long on Beer Can Beach in Aptos, California, near Santa Cruz, reported KION.
If a giant wave of plastic garbage washing up our shores seems like the stuff of science fiction, think again.
T. rex may have been a highly successful predator, but it would have been terrible at licking stamps, lollipops or popsicles, thanks to a tongue that was likely fixed to the bottom of its mouth.
A small space rock crashed into Mars recently, and NASA has captured an amazing view of its crater grave site, as well as the trail from an avalanche triggered by the impact.
New research suggests that a newly-discovered 'structure' in the San Andreas fault line could result in a massive earthquake, often referred to as the "big one."

13 Ways to Spend Time with Your Teenage Daughter

The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More

ADHD: Some Survival Strategies for Parents

In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More

10 Secrets To Know You?re A Good Working Parent To Your Kids!

How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More

How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success

Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More

Road Trip! Make It Fun For Your Toddler

If you had to spend 4 or 5 hours in... Read More

Now, They?re Bullying My Daughter in Our Home: Welcome to Cyber-bullying

Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More

COMMITMENT: Teaching Children the Lessons of a Lifetime

It's been said, time and again, that for a child... Read More

Is There Any Real Use For A Fun Quiz?

Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More

Why Mother?s Day is Important For Children

Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More

The Secret of Understanding Children

It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More

Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power

Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More

In Defense of the Jelly Bean

Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More

How NOT to Motivate Your Children and Students

Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Ask Questions

Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More

Bad Boys/Good Boys (Avoiding The Pitfalls Of Being An Insensitive Dad)

I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More

Educational Jigsaw Puzzles, How Educational Are They?

Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: Training Your Child for Success

This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More

Don?t Make Fast and Furious Food Changes

OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when... Read More

Tracking Your Child Progress

As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More

How Can I Teach My Child To Be Responsible?

Most of us when asked what we want our children... Read More

Build Character Now! Practical Tools for Busy Parents

"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More

Teacher Tips: Your Room Set-Up and ADHD Students

Thank you to all of our professional educators who dedicate... Read More

Playing Safe

Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More

How Effective Are Ritalin and Dexedrine in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More

Puberty - Get Ready to Play the Puberty Game

Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More

induction tunnel induction self-ballasted Pete's produce ..