As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power of words. A few well-chosen words can induce hypnosis and help my clients with a wide range of problems. I specialise in confidence, self esteem and stress management, so I am particularly interested in the ways in which we influence our own self esteem, and that of others, through use of language.
It makes me wince sometimes, listening to parents speaking to their children. "Are you stupid?" "You naughty boy!" and a personal un-favourite "If you carry on like this you're going to . . . "
Don't these parents realise what they're doing? Everything we say -- to ourselves and to others -- has predictive power. Not in the sense of a clairvoyant, but because we are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself that you can, and you will. Tell yourself that you can't, and you won't.
Of course, life isn't simply a matter of setting ourselves up with cosy predictions. We still have to do the work. But without self belief, that work becomes harder because it seems impossible. This applies to people of all ages. Just think how much more powerful words are for children, particularly when they come from an authority figure such as a parent or teacher.
How can parents best help their children? Positive parenting is a good first step -- focus on rewarding 'good' behaviours rather than punishing 'bad'ones. We can go much further than this, however. We can set our children up for success, relaxation and happiness.
An example from my own family may help. To encourage my nine year old's writing I asked him to imagine walking through town when he's grown up and entering a bookshop. There's something familiar about the display in front of him, and as he draws nearer he sees his own name and photo on the dust cover. It's a strong image and one which has struck a chord with him. We chat about this from time to time, and he's started to ask about literary agents and the whole process of getting a book published. In other words, he's made the transition towards believing that he could be an author.
Children are exceptionally trusting. Describe happy futures and they will work towards these with the same energy which they put into Christmas present lists. Above all, we need to mind our language as parents, and ask ourselves what predictions we are making for our children when we speak to them.
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management. He may be contacted via http://www.confidenceclub.net
insured cleaning company Bannockburn ..Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More
I know as a single parent or even with 2... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers,... Read More
There are a few points about shyness in children which... Read More
We were sitting in the family room. My kids had... Read More
There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading... Read More
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More
expert residential cleaners Winnetka ..1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More
Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who... Read More
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak... Read More
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More
Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary... Read More
Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More
Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
Anorexia nervosa is a serious medical disorder that is statistically... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More
Home-schooling removes children from public school. That alone makes home-schooling... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
Julia Roberts recently gave birth to twins: Hazel and Phinnaeus.... Read More
Parenting |