Confident Kids : Why Some Parents Should Carry a Health Warning

As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power of words. A few well-chosen words can induce hypnosis and help my clients with a wide range of problems. I specialise in confidence, self esteem and stress management, so I am particularly interested in the ways in which we influence our own self esteem, and that of others, through use of language.

It makes me wince sometimes, listening to parents speaking to their children. "Are you stupid?" "You naughty boy!" and a personal un-favourite "If you carry on like this you're going to . . . "

Don't these parents realise what they're doing? Everything we say -- to ourselves and to others -- has predictive power. Not in the sense of a clairvoyant, but because we are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself that you can, and you will. Tell yourself that you can't, and you won't.

Of course, life isn't simply a matter of setting ourselves up with cosy predictions. We still have to do the work. But without self belief, that work becomes harder because it seems impossible. This applies to people of all ages. Just think how much more powerful words are for children, particularly when they come from an authority figure such as a parent or teacher.

How can parents best help their children? Positive parenting is a good first step -- focus on rewarding 'good' behaviours rather than punishing 'bad'ones. We can go much further than this, however. We can set our children up for success, relaxation and happiness.

An example from my own family may help. To encourage my nine year old's writing I asked him to imagine walking through town when he's grown up and entering a bookshop. There's something familiar about the display in front of him, and as he draws nearer he sees his own name and photo on the dust cover. It's a strong image and one which has struck a chord with him. We chat about this from time to time, and he's started to ask about literary agents and the whole process of getting a book published. In other words, he's made the transition towards believing that he could be an author.

Children are exceptionally trusting. Describe happy futures and they will work towards these with the same energy which they put into Christmas present lists. Above all, we need to mind our language as parents, and ask ourselves what predictions we are making for our children when we speak to them.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management. He may be contacted via http://www.confidenceclub.net

In The News:

What to know about Fred Noonan, the navigator who vanished alongside Amelia Earhart in 1937.

Doctors in Missouri reportedly pulled a dime-sized brown recluse spider out of a woman’s ear this week after she complained of pain.

A Texas woman found a 3.72-carat yellow diamond in a rock pile at the Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas last week.

Archaeologists in the U.K. are working to uncover the secrets of an ancient coastal hillfort before it falls into the sea.

A British man who unearthed an estimated 670-year-old medieval ring in the late 1970s recently rediscovered it hidden in storage boxes — and learned the forgotten treasure is reportedly worth thousands of dollars

The discovery of mystery pointy and lengthened skulls in Croatia is shedding new light on the region’s strange ancient rituals.

Officials in Nepal concerned about trash on Mount Everest are implementing a ban on single-use plastics at the famous mountain, AFP reports.

Ancient Britons should have cooked their fish more. A recent study from the University of Cambridge revealed that Bronze-Age Brits had worms in their kidneys measuring over three feet in length. Researchers believe that the people caught the deadly worms (along with a host of other parasites) by eating raw fish, frogs, and shellfish caught in freshwater marshes.

When the crewmembers of the Starship Enterprise pull into orbit around a new planet, one of the first things they do is scan for life-forms. Here in the real world, researchers have long been trying to figure out how to unambiguously detect signs of life on distant exoplanets.

Rising levels of pollution worldwide are increasing the likelihood that people will die early, according to a sweeping new study.

Confident Kids : Why Some Parents Should Carry a Health Warning

Parenting Parenting