As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power of words. A few well-chosen words can induce hypnosis and help my clients with a wide range of problems. I specialise in confidence, self esteem and stress management, so I am particularly interested in the ways in which we influence our own self esteem, and that of others, through use of language.
It makes me wince sometimes, listening to parents speaking to their children. "Are you stupid?" "You naughty boy!" and a personal un-favourite "If you carry on like this you're going to . . . "
Don't these parents realise what they're doing? Everything we say -- to ourselves and to others -- has predictive power. Not in the sense of a clairvoyant, but because we are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself that you can, and you will. Tell yourself that you can't, and you won't.
Of course, life isn't simply a matter of setting ourselves up with cosy predictions. We still have to do the work. But without self belief, that work becomes harder because it seems impossible. This applies to people of all ages. Just think how much more powerful words are for children, particularly when they come from an authority figure such as a parent or teacher.
How can parents best help their children? Positive parenting is a good first step -- focus on rewarding 'good' behaviours rather than punishing 'bad'ones. We can go much further than this, however. We can set our children up for success, relaxation and happiness.
An example from my own family may help. To encourage my nine year old's writing I asked him to imagine walking through town when he's grown up and entering a bookshop. There's something familiar about the display in front of him, and as he draws nearer he sees his own name and photo on the dust cover. It's a strong image and one which has struck a chord with him. We chat about this from time to time, and he's started to ask about literary agents and the whole process of getting a book published. In other words, he's made the transition towards believing that he could be an author.
Children are exceptionally trusting. Describe happy futures and they will work towards these with the same energy which they put into Christmas present lists. Above all, we need to mind our language as parents, and ask ourselves what predictions we are making for our children when we speak to them.
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management. He may be contacted via http://www.confidenceclub.net
best cleaning company Highland Park ..Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
Very often, new parents rely on a parenting tip or... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
Parents looking for a quick fix usually choose troubled teen... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
My kids ask me all the time to take them... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
high-end home cleaning Winnetka ..Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Do you know what these famous people have in common?Alexander... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
Parenting |