As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power of words. A few well-chosen words can induce hypnosis and help my clients with a wide range of problems. I specialise in confidence, self esteem and stress management, so I am particularly interested in the ways in which we influence our own self esteem, and that of others, through use of language.
It makes me wince sometimes, listening to parents speaking to their children. "Are you stupid?" "You naughty boy!" and a personal un-favourite "If you carry on like this you're going to . . . "
Don't these parents realise what they're doing? Everything we say -- to ourselves and to others -- has predictive power. Not in the sense of a clairvoyant, but because we are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself that you can, and you will. Tell yourself that you can't, and you won't.
Of course, life isn't simply a matter of setting ourselves up with cosy predictions. We still have to do the work. But without self belief, that work becomes harder because it seems impossible. This applies to people of all ages. Just think how much more powerful words are for children, particularly when they come from an authority figure such as a parent or teacher.
How can parents best help their children? Positive parenting is a good first step -- focus on rewarding 'good' behaviours rather than punishing 'bad'ones. We can go much further than this, however. We can set our children up for success, relaxation and happiness.
An example from my own family may help. To encourage my nine year old's writing I asked him to imagine walking through town when he's grown up and entering a bookshop. There's something familiar about the display in front of him, and as he draws nearer he sees his own name and photo on the dust cover. It's a strong image and one which has struck a chord with him. We chat about this from time to time, and he's started to ask about literary agents and the whole process of getting a book published. In other words, he's made the transition towards believing that he could be an author.
Children are exceptionally trusting. Describe happy futures and they will work towards these with the same energy which they put into Christmas present lists. Above all, we need to mind our language as parents, and ask ourselves what predictions we are making for our children when we speak to them.
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management. He may be contacted via http://www.confidenceclub.net
tidy up service Northbrook ..Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More
Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More
Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More
Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More
The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More
One of the most difficult struggles in life for a... Read More
Depending on where you live school will be starting this... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More
According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know... Read More
Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More
Choosing to leave your child with a caregiver is one... Read More
Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks... Read More
reliable home cleaners Buffalo Grove ..Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More
It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
Those of you that have children know what an excursion... Read More
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
There is a front line and a back end to... Read More
1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More
Some years ago when touring the Scottish Highlands, a man... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
Parenting |