As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power of words. A few well-chosen words can induce hypnosis and help my clients with a wide range of problems. I specialise in confidence, self esteem and stress management, so I am particularly interested in the ways in which we influence our own self esteem, and that of others, through use of language.
It makes me wince sometimes, listening to parents speaking to their children. "Are you stupid?" "You naughty boy!" and a personal un-favourite "If you carry on like this you're going to . . . "
Don't these parents realise what they're doing? Everything we say -- to ourselves and to others -- has predictive power. Not in the sense of a clairvoyant, but because we are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself that you can, and you will. Tell yourself that you can't, and you won't.
Of course, life isn't simply a matter of setting ourselves up with cosy predictions. We still have to do the work. But without self belief, that work becomes harder because it seems impossible. This applies to people of all ages. Just think how much more powerful words are for children, particularly when they come from an authority figure such as a parent or teacher.
How can parents best help their children? Positive parenting is a good first step -- focus on rewarding 'good' behaviours rather than punishing 'bad'ones. We can go much further than this, however. We can set our children up for success, relaxation and happiness.
An example from my own family may help. To encourage my nine year old's writing I asked him to imagine walking through town when he's grown up and entering a bookshop. There's something familiar about the display in front of him, and as he draws nearer he sees his own name and photo on the dust cover. It's a strong image and one which has struck a chord with him. We chat about this from time to time, and he's started to ask about literary agents and the whole process of getting a book published. In other words, he's made the transition towards believing that he could be an author.
Children are exceptionally trusting. Describe happy futures and they will work towards these with the same energy which they put into Christmas present lists. Above all, we need to mind our language as parents, and ask ourselves what predictions we are making for our children when we speak to them.
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management. He may be contacted via http://www.confidenceclub.net
no-contract cleaning service Des Plaines ..Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More
There are a LOT of alternative treatments for sale out... Read More
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and... Read More
(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More
It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More
Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More
I look out of the window as I am writing... Read More
The cost of being a parent and raising a child... Read More
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More
The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment,... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More
In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
bathroom cleaning service Lake Forest ..The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of LoveOn Mother's... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
Many of us have grown up drinking caffeinated diet sodas... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
Parenting |