As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power of words. A few well-chosen words can induce hypnosis and help my clients with a wide range of problems. I specialise in confidence, self esteem and stress management, so I am particularly interested in the ways in which we influence our own self esteem, and that of others, through use of language.
It makes me wince sometimes, listening to parents speaking to their children. "Are you stupid?" "You naughty boy!" and a personal un-favourite "If you carry on like this you're going to . . . "
Don't these parents realise what they're doing? Everything we say -- to ourselves and to others -- has predictive power. Not in the sense of a clairvoyant, but because we are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself that you can, and you will. Tell yourself that you can't, and you won't.
Of course, life isn't simply a matter of setting ourselves up with cosy predictions. We still have to do the work. But without self belief, that work becomes harder because it seems impossible. This applies to people of all ages. Just think how much more powerful words are for children, particularly when they come from an authority figure such as a parent or teacher.
How can parents best help their children? Positive parenting is a good first step -- focus on rewarding 'good' behaviours rather than punishing 'bad'ones. We can go much further than this, however. We can set our children up for success, relaxation and happiness.
An example from my own family may help. To encourage my nine year old's writing I asked him to imagine walking through town when he's grown up and entering a bookshop. There's something familiar about the display in front of him, and as he draws nearer he sees his own name and photo on the dust cover. It's a strong image and one which has struck a chord with him. We chat about this from time to time, and he's started to ask about literary agents and the whole process of getting a book published. In other words, he's made the transition towards believing that he could be an author.
Children are exceptionally trusting. Describe happy futures and they will work towards these with the same energy which they put into Christmas present lists. Above all, we need to mind our language as parents, and ask ourselves what predictions we are making for our children when we speak to them.
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management. He may be contacted via http://www.confidenceclub.net
detailed home cleaning Park Ridge ..At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
We take it for granted that children know how money... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading... Read More
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
express cleaning service Des Plaines ..Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More
Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
Thank you to all of our professional educators who dedicate... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More
It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More
Parenting |