As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power of words. A few well-chosen words can induce hypnosis and help my clients with a wide range of problems. I specialise in confidence, self esteem and stress management, so I am particularly interested in the ways in which we influence our own self esteem, and that of others, through use of language.
It makes me wince sometimes, listening to parents speaking to their children. "Are you stupid?" "You naughty boy!" and a personal un-favourite "If you carry on like this you're going to . . . "
Don't these parents realise what they're doing? Everything we say -- to ourselves and to others -- has predictive power. Not in the sense of a clairvoyant, but because we are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself that you can, and you will. Tell yourself that you can't, and you won't.
Of course, life isn't simply a matter of setting ourselves up with cosy predictions. We still have to do the work. But without self belief, that work becomes harder because it seems impossible. This applies to people of all ages. Just think how much more powerful words are for children, particularly when they come from an authority figure such as a parent or teacher.
How can parents best help their children? Positive parenting is a good first step -- focus on rewarding 'good' behaviours rather than punishing 'bad'ones. We can go much further than this, however. We can set our children up for success, relaxation and happiness.
An example from my own family may help. To encourage my nine year old's writing I asked him to imagine walking through town when he's grown up and entering a bookshop. There's something familiar about the display in front of him, and as he draws nearer he sees his own name and photo on the dust cover. It's a strong image and one which has struck a chord with him. We chat about this from time to time, and he's started to ask about literary agents and the whole process of getting a book published. In other words, he's made the transition towards believing that he could be an author.
Children are exceptionally trusting. Describe happy futures and they will work towards these with the same energy which they put into Christmas present lists. Above all, we need to mind our language as parents, and ask ourselves what predictions we are making for our children when we speak to them.
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management. He may be contacted via http://www.confidenceclub.net
maide service in Park Ridge ..No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
Some people can concentrate on an assignment, to the exclusion... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
The purpose of this article is to address some of... Read More
Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More
If you are a parent, then more than likely you... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More
Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More
Well first off, please to don't institute the ? hour... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More
Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
after renovation cleaning Highland Park ..In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
"Becoming a parent can make you a better worker," New... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
Before going further into choosing computers for children, I believe... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is... Read More
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233Percentage... Read More
When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More
Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More
The public school system in America has become a dismal... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household,... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of LoveOn Mother's... Read More
Parenting |