As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when we mature; we mature when we become responsible.
Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated or moved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach this principal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they will gain or lose by the choices they make.
Personal Responsiblity is an ever widening circle of people, places and events affected by our decisions. In the center of that circle, an area which many people never get beyond is:
ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person. Examples are: Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. My choices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt only me.
The next circle of influence is:
YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like and approve of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility to those who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I am wrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard other people's resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affect my daily life.
And as we mature and become more sensitive, we are concerned about:
US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us. Some people and organizations I know, some I don't know yet, but they are a part of my extended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesy and service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers, school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individual actions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form of recommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.
The widest rim of the circle is to those we may or may not know:
The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make the world a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth, eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. The Universe may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doing right and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have a responsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentions towards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.
As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible as early as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think and choose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, they will grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life and contribute to the well being of the group.
Assuming personal responsibility is the ultimate goal of growing up. So the answer to the question,Who, me? is Yes, you.
(c) Judy H. Wright, www.ArtichokePress.com
This handout? 2003 has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at http://www.artichokepress.com. To contact us, please write http://www.artichokepress.com. or call 406-549-9813.
prom limousines Arcola ..Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More
Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
Attica Chicago limousine service ..I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Diapers..Changing a dirty diaper is not the best part of... Read More
Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
Many people still think that the game of chess is... Read More
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
Teens can freely access the Internet from computers at school,... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More
Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More
Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More
Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
There is a front line and a back end to... Read More
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More
Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
Every now and then I'll get a story sent to... Read More
Parenting |