As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when we mature; we mature when we become responsible.
Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated or moved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach this principal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they will gain or lose by the choices they make.
Personal Responsiblity is an ever widening circle of people, places and events affected by our decisions. In the center of that circle, an area which many people never get beyond is:
ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person. Examples are: Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. My choices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt only me.
The next circle of influence is:
YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like and approve of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility to those who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I am wrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard other people's resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affect my daily life.
And as we mature and become more sensitive, we are concerned about:
US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us. Some people and organizations I know, some I don't know yet, but they are a part of my extended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesy and service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers, school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individual actions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form of recommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.
The widest rim of the circle is to those we may or may not know:
The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make the world a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth, eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. The Universe may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doing right and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have a responsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentions towards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.
As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible as early as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think and choose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, they will grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life and contribute to the well being of the group.
Assuming personal responsibility is the ultimate goal of growing up. So the answer to the question,Who, me? is Yes, you.
(c) Judy H. Wright, www.ArtichokePress.com
This handout? 2003 has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at http://www.artichokepress.com. To contact us, please write http://www.artichokepress.com. or call 406-549-9813.
cleaning team near Winnetka ..For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
Gift shops are a kid magnet and often a trip... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
Child tantrums are a way for children to express their... Read More
The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More
Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
Did you know there's a game children and parents play... Read More
For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
family-safe home cleaners Northbrook ..We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More
IntroductionAs a parent who wants the best for your children,... Read More
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More
By not planning for the future we guarantee that we... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
A common theme over the past 20 years has been... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More
The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More
the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More
Parenting |