As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when we mature; we mature when we become responsible.
Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated or moved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach this principal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they will gain or lose by the choices they make.
Personal Responsiblity is an ever widening circle of people, places and events affected by our decisions. In the center of that circle, an area which many people never get beyond is:
ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person. Examples are: Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. My choices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt only me.
The next circle of influence is:
YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like and approve of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility to those who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I am wrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard other people's resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affect my daily life.
And as we mature and become more sensitive, we are concerned about:
US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us. Some people and organizations I know, some I don't know yet, but they are a part of my extended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesy and service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers, school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individual actions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form of recommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.
The widest rim of the circle is to those we may or may not know:
The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make the world a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth, eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. The Universe may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doing right and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have a responsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentions towards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.
As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible as early as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think and choose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, they will grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life and contribute to the well being of the group.
Assuming personal responsibility is the ultimate goal of growing up. So the answer to the question,Who, me? is Yes, you.
(c) Judy H. Wright, www.ArtichokePress.com
This handout? 2003 has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at http://www.artichokepress.com. To contact us, please write http://www.artichokepress.com. or call 406-549-9813.
family-safe home cleaners Lincolnshire ..Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More
Unfortunately each year many young children drown in swimming pools,... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
maide service in Buffalo Grove ..Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
The public school system in America has become a dismal... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More
When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend... Read More
"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More
On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More
Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
Parenting |