1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your child to focus on her many strengths.
2. Reinforce the positives. Give praise, recognition, a special privilege or increased responsibility for a job well done.
3. Define limits and rules clearly. A family council is an excellent place to discuss, explain and get a sense of ownership to the rules. Discuss what consequences will follow if the rules are not followed. Don't have a lot of rules, maybe four or five, but be consistent at following them.
4. Give your children responsibility to make the house a home. Everyone in the family should be responsible for some household chores daily. Responsibility makes them feel valued and part of the team.
5. Don't re-do their jobs. If you expect perfection, it is too easy for them to quit trying or else hope that you will step in and "save them" when it gets difficult.
6. Laugh at their jokes and listen attentively when they are talking to you. Being fully present when you are with your child is the only quality time there is.
7. If they don't fit in, teach them basic social skills. There are a number of behaviors that can be learned to help the "left out" child to fit into the group more easily.
8. Show them that what they do is important to you. Talk to them about activities and interests. Help them to find a hobby or interest that they excel at. Go to their games, presentations and activities.
9. Help them to set goals. Teach them to break each long-range goal into manageable bites. It is important to succeed at something ever day. Acknowledge your own successes so they can be more aware of progress they are making.
10. Don't punish them for telling the truth. Discuss problems without placing blame or attacking the child's character. Worry less about "who did this?" and more about "Let's get this mess cleaned up." If a child knows he has made a bad choice but doesn't feel attacked, he will feel more secure in trying to find solutions.
11. Create opportunities to give service and to develop tolerance for others with different values and backgrounds. These experiences can help a child to see himself in reference to the rest of the world and to be more understanding of the needs of others.
12. Give them opportunities to make decisions. Help them to see that each decision has pros and cons and may have consequences for themselves and others. If they want to do something that is clearly harmful, explain why you cannot allow them to act on it.
13. Teach them to deal with money and time wisely. When children are organized and responsible for their homework and allowance, it breeds self-assurance and personal responsibility.
14. Be a good role model. Let your children know that you feel good about yourself, but also teach them by example that mistakes aren't final but learning experiences.
15. Start and end each day on a positive and loving note. Give lots of hugs, kisses and high fives. Let them know on a consistent basis that your love is unconditional and that you are proud of them as a member of the family. You may occasionally be disappointed in their actions or choices, but will always be available for support.
? Judy H. Wright, Author, Speaker and Life Educator www.artichokepress.com
This article was written by Judy Wright, parent educator and author. Feel free to use it in your newsletter or publication, but please give full credit to the author and mention the contact information of JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com, 406-549-9813.
You will find a full listing of books, tapes, newsletters and workshops available on finding the heart of the story in the journey of life by going to www.artichokepress.com
cleaning help near Mundelein .."Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
You want your daughter to wear a dress to the... Read More
The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when... Read More
Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More
Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
Gift shops are a kid magnet and often a trip... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we... Read More
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
reliable maid service Wilmette ..Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More
Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,... Read More
One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
From the book Spider's Night on the BoomI've only begun... Read More
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter... Read More
KIDS AND THE NEWSMore than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
Parenting |